The Circle
by JemmadA
Summary: A time-travelling story in which reality blends into our favourite world, in which James and Lily get a chance for life and our dear Sirius... well, I won't spoil the fun.
1. Unexpected Encounters

**THE CIRCLE**

**Chapter 1: Unexpected Encounters**

Disclaim: _**I don't own Harry Potter, Jo does!**_

**Unexpected Encounters**

I was quietly reading a book I'd randomly picked while waiting for my train to depart an hour before and, even though I was dead tired by then, was enjoying it immensely. Not even jet-lags prevent me to read a nice story, so, there I was, on board of a rather empty regional train, a book on my lap and blissfully happy at the prospect of two months of well deserved relax. I had just landed home after a few months of world travelling because of my job and I'd been asked to look after the house by my parents, who were currently on holiday in Europe.

After graduating the previous year I had found employment in a rather known movie production crew. It was a dream job, as not only it allowed me to travel but also to design on a daily basis. That job had become a life-saver, the only thing that had helped me expressing myself.

The last few months had been incredible, yet late hours had taken the toll and now, I couldn't wait for catching up with some friends and simply enjoying the Australian summer.

Inwardly happy that the train was empty and weird passengers wouldn't have had the chance to disturb me , I was set to enjoy the next three hours. My parent's house was rather far from Melbourne, Victoria's capital city. Australia had been my home for four years at the time, yet I felt I had no roots, no real country.

I was born in Northern Italy, in a land where winters are cold, humid and foggy…where life can be chaotic and competitive, where you can't be who you really wish to be. I had openly embraced my parents' decision to go away, to leave everything, to find a new home. My Father, tired of a country which doesn't help and care, had ached to go back to his first land to find a new purpose in life. My Mother had bravely gone along with it and I... I'd only wanted to escape.

I was turning page 25 when two young men and a girl holding a very small child entered my carriage and noisily occupied the seats beside and in front of me.

I hardly hid a very annoyed expression. The carriage was almost empty…why had they chosen "my" isle?

Frowning, I kept my attention to the book while, unnoticed, I cast inquisitive looks at my companions.

The girl sitting in front of me was really pretty. Her long dark red hair framed her pale face nicely while her startling green eyes were shining brightly towards the child on her lap. He seemed to be a year old, maybe slightly older. His untamed black hair was identical to the young man sitting beside the red headed girl.

"Lily, Harry and James," I thought with a smile. "James" was looking outside the window, his hazel eyes curiously lit at the sight of the colourful Melbourne suburbs crowded with people and fast cars. The second man, the one sitting beside me, was lounging casually on his seat and yawning profusely. I noticed the red-headed girl kicking his right leg and glaring at him as if to say "seat properly and behave". With the corner of my eye, I saw him grinning and mouthing something back at her. I couldn't see his face, but he seemed pretty handsome, his straight black hair falling elegantly on his eyes. Sirius, I thought.

As you can imagine, I had been a Harry Potter fan for years back then. Having read the first book of the series at 12, now at 22, I considered myself a Peter Pan of sort, never wanting to grow up. Imagination was the most important thing in my life and it had played a decisive role in my design studies and later my job.

I was distracted from my musings by "Sirius"' voice.

"Oi, Prongs! Do you want anything from the bar?" he asked his friend with an unmistakable British accent. But…Prongs? Was I hallucinating? Had I just fallen asleep?

"We just got on the train, Padfoot!" "Prongs" replied back shaking his head in disbelief.

"I don't know what to do," he whined. "Muggle trains are boring and full of boring Muggles reading boring books!"

"Lily" shot him a murderous glare and then looked at me apologetically. I shrugged at her then I turned towards "Padfoot".

"Well, if Muggles were Wizards they wouldn't take trains, Mr Bored To Death," I smoothly said, shutting the book I'd been reading.

"Oh, are you a squib?" he asked me surprised, while "Lily and James" groaned under their breaths.

"Are you making fun of me?" I shot back at him. "Impersonating Sirius Black at your age?"

"How - how do you know my name?"

He seemed genuinely shocked. His friends seemed impressed too, however it seemed to me they had been almost expecting it. Yeah, right. Millions of people had read Rowling's books, there was always a chance of meeting people who were obsessed fans...right?

"Are you Jemma De Angelis?" Lily tentatively asked me with a knowing look. James and Sirius both stared at me expectantly waiting for an answer.

I had an incomprehensible urge to laugh at the three of them, however, I simply managed to stare at them agape.

That name.

Jemma De Angelis.

The name I invented for myself when I was seven.

The name of a person I could have never become.

The name that freed me at first and then caged me, caged me in a reality I had never wanted to accept. How could they possibly know it? The only person who had known that name was a long lost friend who had most probably forgotten about it years and years ago. Not mentioning she lived twenty thousand kilometres from where I was at that moment.

"So?" questioned me the "Sirius" character. "Is it you?"

I looked back at him weakly. Was I Jemma De Angelis? No, that wasn't my name. Yet, Jemma was _me, _the part of me I couldn't allow others to know about. I couldn't because I'd never wanted to spend my whole life locked up inside an asylum.

However, these people believed to be fictional characters...

"That - that is my name, I guess," I managed to say.

"You guess?" "Sirius" replied amused. I glared malevolently at his handsome arrogant face.

"Jemma De Angelis is not my name. It's a nickname. And no one knows it."

"Well, we do," said "James" with a grin. "Sirius" let out a muffled chuckle at his friend's words.

"I've already worked that out by myself, thanks," I said sarcastically turning to the black-haired man in front of me. I couldn't believe it. Was this a joke?

"Who are you really?" I asked them quite annoyed.

"I'm Lily Potter," the red-head said. "And these are my husband James, our son Harry and, as you know, the git there is Sirius Black."

Silence.

I started laughing looking rather...unbalanced. They eyed me nervously, not knowing what to do. When I managed to calm myself down, I realised their faces were serious.

"Come on!" I exclaimed. "How retarded do you think I am? You're book characters…you can't be possibly real? Or am I dreaming? Has the jet-lag finally got to me?" I remember babbling crazily, a thousand mad explanations of what was happening crossing my mind like _lighting bolts._

"Jet-lag?" "James" asked puzzled.

"It's what the Muggles call the difference in time you encounter when travelling by plane and the effects it has on your body," "Lily" promptly explained to her companions with a shrug.

"What?" The two men didn't look like they'd understood.

"James, Sirius, you're so daft sometimes!" "Lily" complained rolling her eyes. 'It's the same for us, we left at night but here it's midday, so we're tired, aren't we?"

"I'm not tired, just bored," had been "Sirius"' cheeky reply.

"Never mind," I interrupted, trying to keep a clear mind. "You're very good actors, all of you, ok? It's enough now, though. Who sent you here to prank me?"

I looked at each one of them again, hoping for one of the three to start laughing and shout 'It's a joke!' at my face, but I didn't get any reaction. "James" and "Lily" turned serious once again and their friend suddenly lost that air of careless cheerfulness that had so annoyed me at first.

"It's not a prank," the red-head quietly sighed. "We've been sent to find you, though. It must be a great shock but the books you read about my son are real…it's what's going to happen to him -to us- if you won't help us."

I was speechless. Nah, the real Jemma De Angelis must be sitting in another carriage…they had got it wrong. Wait, had I already been convinced that they were really Lily, James and Harry Potter and Sirius Black?

"Ooook," my voice didn't really sound like it used to. "Help you? How can I help you? I'm just a Muggle!"

"No, you're not," Sirius said.

"Yes, I am."

"No, you're-"

"YES, I AM!" I almost shouted. I swear that that must have been the only time in my life I had wanted to convince someone I was perfectly normal.

"Let me explain first!" Lily said firmly, her raised hand halting me from speaking. "Dumbledore explained to us that he received a letter and a special Time-Turner from you, the future you, telling him to ask James and I to come to this day, this precise time, this train, this carriage and find you, Jemma De Angelis. You're the only person with the power and knowledge to help -"

"I hardly doubt it," I muttered rather loudly interrupting her.

"You're magical like us!" James eagerly said, his eyes pleading me to accept their request. I was sceptical. My brain had been working double for minutes just to find a counter argument.

"If I were magical," I said calmly, "I would've attended a school like your Hogwarts."

"Not correct," Lily immediately responded. "You grew up in Italy and the _Accademia delle Arti Magiche_ doesn't accept Muggleborns."

"That's not fair!" I exclaimed immediately, then thinking about her words I realised she knew I was Italian. "How do you know where I'm from?" I then asked surprised.

"It was in the letter," she simply answered, a notable frown on her pale face.

That couldn't have been a coincidence.

"But I'm not Jemma De Angelis!" I remember voicing loudly, my eyes staring at each one of them in turn.

"You've just said you were!" James pointed exasperated.

"I - yes…"

"You don't make any sense at all, d'you know that?" smirked Sirius yawning widely.

I had the intense urge to throw the book in my hands at his over-stuffed arrogant head, yet I contained myself and turned my eyes to Lily.

"Didn't you say Dumbledore asked you and James to find me, did you?" I asked.

She and her husband nodded.

"So, what's the clown doing here?" I questioned, pointing at Sirius with a grin.

The latter looked at me offended, yet didn't say anything.

"He was at our place when we came back from the meeting with Dumbledore and James tattled -"

"Hey!" James exclaimed annoyed. "I trust him!"

"Yes, I know," she remarked weakly. "Anyway, Sirius heard about this and decided to tag along...I hope Dumbledore won't be mad, though."

I nodded thoughtfully. Had Dumbledore really suspected Sirius from the start or had he just tried to be extremely careful? Wait, had I already been convinced of this madness?

"There's still the question wether I'm magical or not, though," I sighed knowing that was where this story was going to end. Yet, I was hopeful.

"Have you ever done anything you couldn't explain?" Lily asked curiously, probably thinking at her own accidental magic when she was just a child.

Had I ever done magic?

"No," I answered sincerely.

"Are you sure?" asked James sounding unconvinced.

"Yes, I am…" I told them. "Well, I might have dreamt of things that later happened but that's about it! I'm as normal as it gets!"

Yes, for sure. A person dreamt about the future and I called it normal.

"Yet you feel you don't belong to the Muggle world," Lily stated almost reading my thoughts, a faint smile tugging at her lips.

"I - I don't know…" I blurted out.

It was then that Sirius suddenly took his wand out of his pocket.

"Try a spell," he told me, handing me the wand.

"What?" I gasped. "I don't know any spell!"

"Weren't spells mentioned in the books you read?" James questioned curiously.

"Yeah, I - I'll try one," I stammered and took Sirius' wand.

I pointed it at a small red stuffed dragon sticking out of Lily's large green bag and said clearly 'Wingardium Leviosa!'.

To my enormous surprise, the dragon slowly levitated and stopped in mid-air when it reached our eye-level.

Utter shock.

"You're one of us, Jemma," Lily beamed at me, catching the toy and putting it back inside her bag.

"And not many of us can manage this spell for the first time," James added positively.

"And even better, you did it not using your personal wand," Sirius told me with a smile when I handed him back his wand.

My heart was hammering like crazy, yet I did manage a faint smile.

I was a witch! I could do magic!

* * *

"Do you know who's the spy?" Sirius asked me suddenly after awhile. James and Lily, who had been trying to rest a bit, quickly opened their eyes and stared at me looking interested yet fearful.

"Yes, I do," I sighed uncertainly.

"Is it Remus Lupin?"

I glared back at him incredulously.

"Did you honestly believe that Remus was the spy?"

Sirius lowered his head and nodded guiltily. James and Lily seemed happy for a moment then the realisation of who the spy really was hit them like a bullet.

"Peter?" Lily asked tentatively, glancing at her husband whose fists had clenched angrily.

"Yes," I managed to say.

"Damn!" Sirius exclaimed forcefully looking at his friends. "If we had gone on with the plan of switching Secret Keepers, he would've find you and - and…"

I felt a pang of sympathy for Sirius at that moment, the young man who was meant to spend twelve years in the wizard prison of Azkaban, then escape and finally die three years later by the hand of his deranged cousin Bellatrix Lestrange. I awkwardly put my left hand on his shoulder and finally, I believed their story. This wasn't a trick, this was real. The sleeping baby on his mother's lap was indeed Harry James Potter, my favourite hero, the Boy-Who-Lived.

Could I have been possibly given the chance to change it all? Did I have the power to?

'I'm going to help you, but I don't know how.' I finally said. My voice hadn't wavered and I was determined, yet, how on earth was I going to help them?

* * *

_**AN: Hello everyone! Please read & review! Any constructive comment is well accepted!**_

Love, JemmadA


	2. Pastor Future?

Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter!**

Chapter 2

**Past … or Future?**

Many things had been going through my mind during that hour that I couldn't even try to start sorting them out.

What was I supposed to do? At twenty-two, when the logical part of me had finally taken over my daily life (most of the time), I was going to be thrown back to a - for all purposes and matters - a fantasy world. And even worse, _Harry Potter_'s fantasy world. I would've really appreciated seeing my family's reaction to that.

Unexpected things just happen, yet I deeply wondered why it had to happen now when my life had become _relatively_ less complicated.

Why hadn't they appeared while I was in High School? I would've been younger and more eager to leave everything and everyone behind.

Well, life is unfair, you may say. I agree. Entirely.

I took a glance at the landscape from the dusty window, its characteristic yellow and green hues perfectly matching the startling turquoise sky that dominated the land. This is one of the most astounding qualities of the Australian sky; it seems to be somehow larger than anywhere else in the world.

James appeared to have noticed it, too.

'Nice view, eh?', he commented fascinated, his nose almost touching the window panel.

'Yeah', I agreed. 'I'll never get bored of this land'.

'How long have you been living here?, he asked me interested.

'Four years.' I answered thoughtfully.

'Do you miss your country?', Lily wanted to know.

'Yes and no.' I sighed. 'I reckon my childhood wasn't that great to make me love the places I grew up in. I love my culture, though, that'll be always a part of me.'

James and Lily nodded understandingly.

_The war must have taken a lot from them already, _I thought.

That made me ask a rather important question. 'What was the date when you left?' I tentatively questioned.

'1st October 1981', Lily said half-afraid of where my thoughts were directed to.

I closed my eyes. They had a month left to live.

'What's wrong?' came James's afraid voice. 'What's going to happen is going to happen soon, right?'

'It's not going to happen because you won't choose Peter as Secret Keeper I hope.' I explained.

'Tell us about the books, please.' pleaded Lily hugging even strongly her peacefully sleeping son.

I realised now that they had been waiting for me to tell what I knew of their son's life. Yet, they were terrified of what I was going to say. Sirius, who had been eerily quiet for awhile, straightened his posture and looked at me expectantly.

'In the books Peter betrayed you and Voldemort came to Godric's Hollow on Halloween-'

'This Halloween?', Sirius interrupted, an anguished look etched across his face.

'Halloween 1981, yes.' I continued. 'He killed you first, James, then he went upstairs to kill Harry but you, Lily, were there trying to protect him'.

The three of them seemed petrified.

'Voldemort gave you a chance to live but you refused-' I immediately saw Lily nodding defiantly while James and Sirius looked puzzled. 'He - he killed you then and tried to kill Harry, too. But something went wrong'.

'What happened?' asked James, a sob escaping his lips.

'The curse backfired and Voldemort lost his powers.'

'Harry lived?', asked Lily amazed.

James and Sirius were staring incredulous at Harry who, unaware of his surroundings, had been asleep for quite awhile now, his little hands firmly grasping Lily's dark green blouse.

'Yes, he did. He became the Boy-Who-Lived that night', I said, a sad tone evident in my voice.

Then, I explained how that happened because of Lily's sacrifice and Severus Snape's request. I talked about the scar and what I knew about why Voldemort had survived the Killing Curse while James, Lily and Sirius followed every single word, trying to understand and remember every detail, every piece of information.

'Who took him?', James and Lily questioned at the same time expectantly.

'I took Harry, right?' Sirius asked before I'd even opened my mouth to answer.

'No, Sirius. Harry grew up with the Dursleys.' I stated frowning.

'WHAT?' Lily shouted angrily, almost waking her son up.

'Where was I?' Sirius put in worried.

'You went after Peter,' I explained. 'When you found him he framed you by saying you'd been the Secret Keeper. He then blew up the street and killed twelve Muggles. He cut his finger and transformed, everyone thought him dead and you…you were sent to —'

'Azkaban', he managed to choke out frightened.

Lily and James were speechless. I knew what they were thinking. Even though Voldemort had disappeared, their family was no more, their friendships broken. Sirius in Azkaban, Peter a traitor, Remus abandoned and Harry…Harry was all alone. Lily knew perfectly well how her sister would've treated her son, she hated magic and everything related to "the freaks".

James' hands were hiding his face, yet I could hear him crying quietly. Sirius was in shock, terrified at this possible future, afraid of losing everyone he cared about.

'This is not going to happen, I promise', I told them. 'But I need you to teach me magic first.'

The world I had longed for for years had finally found me when I'd been least expecting it… what choice did I have?

Saying no and going back to a life I deep down knew wasn't cut for me at all was not an option. However, saying yes meant I was going to jump into something unknown, my future becoming my past.

I had always wondered wether I could have been called brave or not, yet, at that point, I realised it all came down to being alarmingly reckless.

Yes. Reckless. The perfect word to describe myself at that precise moment, when I decided to leave my perfectly ok life for something that, I'd already known, was going to change me entirely. I was going to plunge into the past forgetting who I was, forgetting my name, my story. I was going to become Jemma De Angelis, that alter-ego I had created out of boredom so many years previously.

However, I also knew I had to save them, no matter what.

And that's how my story began.

* * *

AN: Please read & review!


	3. New Friends

Disclaimer: _**I don't own Harry Potter...**_

Chapter 3

**New Friends**

That evening, James, Lily, Sirius and little Harry settled at my parents' place tired yet hopeful. They'd readily agreed on teaching me magic and suggested to remain at my house for the time being. We would've returned to the past only when I would have been able to defend myself properly.

The single storey brick-veneer house wasn't huge but fitted all of us perfectly with its three comfortable bedrooms, cosy sitting room and spacious kitchen. Not to mention the ample backyard that, having being warded against the Muggle neighbourhood, became essential for my "magical education".  
The master bedroom went to the Potters as it was the largest and could fit Harry's crib effortlessly. Sirius camped in the guest bedroom instead and not a day went by without him saying how much he loved sleeping in there surrounded by clean white painted walls. I guessed he still had in mind the walls in Grimmauld Place where he'd grown up.

My bedroom, the furthest along the corridor, seemed to greet me warmly after so many months apart, the canvases I had painted three years before almost smiling at me through their bright crisp colours. I remember I taking some time to just look at everything I'd left in there. Photos of friends I'd not seen in ages, small shiny trinkets I didn't even remember why I'd kept, a red and brown dream-catcher which spoke so strongly of a life that now seemed so far away.

I sighed while sitting cross legged on my bed and stared at my reflection in the square mirror hung above the white chest of drawers. I had changed. My hazel eyes held an odd resolute twinkle I had not seen for a long long time, while my face, slightly more tanned than usual, was sporting a content smirk of satisfaction.  
I had been right after all.  
Magic was real.  
Chuckling, I ran a hand through my messy dark-brown hair and winked at myself.

* * *

Over the following weeks, James, Lily and Sirius began tutoring me in the Magical Arts. Not having a proper wand didn't prevent me to learn loads, as they'd first thought. I'd been using their wands respectively without any effort, I might add. I'd been surprised at first at how much I was actually able to learn. Spells, incantations and hexes were relatively easy for me, a feat that had made them wonder how strong my magic would have grown with the perfect wand.

While James focused on Transfiguration, his favourite subject, Lily taught me Charms and theory of Potions. Given the lack of cauldrons and magical elements, practical potions had been impossible for me to brew as we'd decided not to enter the wizarding community for the fear to be recognised or thwarted.

Sirius, instead, gave me lessons in Defence Against the Dark Arts and Duelling which, I might add, were the two subjects I was most interested in.

The only thing I was having trouble with was the Patronus Charm, though.

'Just think of your happiest memory, Jemma,' said Sirius tiredly for the twentieth time that morning.

_Happiest memory, happiest memory…_

'Expecto Patronum!' I shouted waving James's wand. A silvery thread of smoke feebly appeared for a few seconds before dispersing into the wind.

Sirius groaned.

'I can't do it!' I said exasperated. 'I give up!'

'You're not concentrating!' he snapped at me. 'Even a thirteen-year-old can do it!' He had clearly finished the third Harry Potter book, I realised with a scowl.

'Harry is an exception!' I whined quite offended of the unfair comparison.

'Well, he's _my_ Godson,' he replied with a proud smirk.

I looked at him incredulously before stomping off inside irritated.

Even though I'd always known the theory behind it, I could not cast it. It seemed I didn't have memories happy enough for it to work.  
In addition to that, I realised that Sirius Black was _not_ a patient person.

New information was thrown at me every day. Mastered one thing, a new one would immediately follow. Yet, I wasn't confused. I was thirsty for knowledge, I was literally _hungry_ for magic.  
The fact that the Italian School of Magic didn't allow Muggleborns to attend, had irked me deeply. However, it wasn't unexpected. As Lily later told me, several countries insured that their schools would abide by that law. Durmstrang was like that, for example.

During those first few weeks, the Potters had regained hope even though traces of worry were still evident in their eyes. Harry, in particular, was enjoying the new freedom as his parents often took him to the playground and the town park during my lessons with Sirius.  
Lily and I had quickly become best of friends and it wasn't uncommon for James and Sirius to hide their yawns at our never ending girl talks.  
Of the two Marauders, James seemed the more matured one. He wasn't the bullying sixteen-year-old I had read about in the fifth book, but a funny and loyal young man who appeared to be carrying a thousand problems on his shoulders.  
Sirius was a completely different story. He was the type of person that rarely looked sad or troubled, yet I knew it was his personal way to mask unwanted feelings and thoughts. While staying at my house, he became extremely fascinated with Muggle technology, from mobile phones, to MP3 players and flat screen TVs.

Most nights were spent watching rented movies in the sitting-room or playing Monopoli and Scrubble around the kitchen table.  
Simple things they hadn't had the chance of experience because of the war didn't appear simple to them at all. It made me effectively wonder how lucky I appeared to be to the three of them.

* * *

AN: Thanks to joanvindiesel and Crazy-for-CSI for their fantastic reviews! I know this chapter doesn't say much at all but I promise the next one's gonna be — er — more interesting!

Please, please, please review!

JemmadA


	4. Unobservant

Disclaimer: **_I don't own Harry Potter!_**

Chapter 4

**Unobservant**

It was a late afternoon during the end of the third week when my focus slightly _shifted_.

Sirius and I were sitting outside on the edge of the lawn after a heated duelling/defence lesson. The Potters had gone for a walk down the river hours before and left us practicing. The sun, still quite high in the sky, had effectively succeeded in burning my neck and arms. I tried not to think what colour my face might have turned in. Tomato red, most probably.  
The day had been scorching hot, yet the grass was still a luscious green, all thanks to magic and Lily's green thumb.

'You're really good, Jemma,' Sirius suddenly told me, while wiping sweat off his forehead with a towel.

'I've got a good teacher,' I replied non-chalantly. It was true, Sirius was a very formidable dueller. He looked at me for a moment before speaking.

'Nah, really,' he said. 'I'm not saying it just to make you feel good, I mean it. I've never seen anyone picking magic up so fast, Jem.'

'Can't conjure a Patronus, though,' I mumbled.

'Oh well, nobody's perfect!' he replied airily in a sing-song voice. I eyed him warily. Those weren't the words he'd used at all when I'd been trying to manage that bloody charm the week before. In fact, he seemed annoyingly happy about something today, but I hadn't figured the reason out yet.

'And anyway, that's not even your wand!' he continued trying to prove his point.

I eyed the wooden stick (Lily's) I was holding loosely between my fingers.

'So?' I asked.

'So we've got a chance of making it out of it alive!' he exclaimed, his grey eyes alight with confidence.

'I really hope so,' I muttered. I wasn't _that_ confident, yet.

'Come on, we'll beat old Voldie in a —'

'Sirius stop!' I interrupted him glaring. Inwardly, I was terrified. Me facing Voldemort? '_I'd better dig my own grave already,'_ I thought wildly.

'You're scared?' he asked surprised, eying my sudden stiff pose.

'Yes, I am,' I replied drily. 'You've faced that stuff before, I haven't. You've known your powers since you were a baby, I haven't. You've —'

'Sorry,' he told me immediately stopping my rant. 'I didn't want to scare you, I didn't think of that ... well, Lily _did_ tell me not to say these things to you but I thought she was just being her over-protective self like usual.'

I managed a half-smile. 'That's ok. You don't need to apologise.' I said.

He gave me his signature smirk and then laid back on the grass, hands behind his head. He seemed to be thinking about something.

Not knowing what to say, I just sat there beside him, my eyes following a line of hard working ants marching on the reddish-brown brick pavement in front of my feet.

'Jemma?' he tentatively voiced getting my attention.

'Yes, Sirius?' I replied, turning my eyes towards him.

'Are you going to miss anyone when we leave?' he asked me seriously.

That was a rather strange question from Mr Tough. I hadn't talked much about friends or people in general in those three weeks, so why was he asking this now?

'I'll miss my parents, some friends...' I responded laying back on the grass, too. I had finally worded what I'd been dreading the most. I couldn't leave my parents, yet I had to. If I wasn't going to make it back alive, what would happen to them? Hot bubbling guilt began forming inside my stomach at that thought.

'What about a boyfriend?' he questioned then interested, apparently not having noticed my reaction to his previous question.

'Nah, my ex made me allergic to long lasting relationships.' I replied half-heartedly trying to joke. He seemed to enjoy my answer and grinned.

'Do you think love exist?' he asked after awhile. His eyes weren't directed at me but at the clear blue sky above our heads. I was stunned. This wasn't a typical Sirius Black question.

'Possibly,' I said slowly. 'I'd say no but then I see James and Lily and they love each other...'

'I think the same,' he told me thoughtfully. Well, that was something.

'So, no girls back in the past?' I asked him curiously.

'Not in the books, eh?' he chuckled amusedly. 'No, I was —am— to involved with the Order...anyway, no one's right for me _there.' _He seemed to have purposely stressed the last word.

'There?' I laughed at him. 'Are you planning to find somebody _here_?' That would have been extremely ridiculous even for him.

'There's just one person I want to be with,' he said smoothly, this time looking straight at me, that exasperating smirk back in place.

I gaped speechlessly at him. Was he trying to imply what I thought he was implying? Had he gone mad? Was he kidding me?

I stood up abruptly and hastily rubbed my clothes off grass and dusty soil. 'Er, it's getting late, I — I need to make dinner,' I stammered while heading towards the back door. My head was reeling.

I'd known something was off with him all day but I surely wasn't expecting this.

'Jem, wait!' he called following me inside. He grabbed my arm and I rounded on him angrily.

'Do you think this is a joke?' I snapped at him. 'Do you think we're playing games here?'

He stared at me stunned. 'Why would I think that?' he replied non-plussed.

'I dunno. You tell me. You're here to teach me magic, not to ask me out on dates!' I almost shouted, sparks shooting out of Lily's wand.

Sirius shook his head disbelievingly, clearly not understanding my reaction.

'I can't feel anything for you, understood?' I warned him.

'Why?' he asked perplexed.

I didn't say anything at first. To tell you the truth, I didn't have a proper answer.  
I was going through an _I-don't-want-to-get-hurt_ period and I wasn't keen on jumping into something without being tremendously cautious. Moreover, I had more important things on my mind at the time.

'Because it's not _right_,' I said not meeting his eyes. He didn't seem to like my words at all.

'That's not an answer, Jemma,' he replied annoyed. He sat heavily on one of the bench stools and stared at me darkly as if to say _'You don't like me, I get it.'_

I plainly ignored him.

It's not that I'd never thought about Sirius in that way before. Hell, he was handsome, exceptionally so, funny, intelligent, _British_ and a wizard. He was a tad arrogant and reckless, yet wasn't I the same? I still remember crying like crazy when at fifteen I read about him dying in the Department of Mysteries as he'd always been one of my favourite characters in the whole series.

However, he was now in front of me, in the flesh, telling me I was the only person he wanted to be with. Pure madness.

Had I been that unobservant? I thought we were good friends, that's all. Yes, he had the uncanny ability to anger me with a couple of well phrased words, but all in all, we were getting along.  
Maybe, I'd been too concentrated on what I was learning to see anything else...

'I envy James, you know,' he said, effectively breaking the silence and my musings.

'How so?' I muttered.

'Because he's got a family,' he told me quietly.

'A family that's not supposed to last much longer!', I shouted without thinking.

'Please, don't say that!' he replied back at me looking genuinely afraid and worried. 'They're not going to die!'

I immediately knew I'd been a _bit_ harsh but Sirius seemed to be the only one that hadn't yet grasped the gravity of the situation we were all in. In my opinion, his unnerving optimism had been born by the idiotic idea to place all responsibilities on my back and the silly hope of me being the one to defeat Voldemort. I'd agreed to help them, that's true. However, I was more keen on finding and destroying Horcruxes than facing the snake-faced madman on my own. Talented I might have been, yet I knew that roughly two months of tutoring weren't nearly enough for me to succeed where so many others had not.

* * *

AN: Reviews make my day, so please...review? What do you think of Jemma's reaction? She's a little bit fussy, isn't she?

LOvE, JemmadA


	5. Friendly Banter and Girl Talks

Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter.**

Chapter 5

**Friendly Banter and Girl Talks**

Sirius was still glancing uncomfortably at me from the opposite side of the kitchen-bench when I heard the front door opening and the Potters coming in. Lily and James were loudly discussing about sunscreen lotions, it appeared. Odd topic for a witch and a wizard, I thought.

'Pa'foo! Jay!' An excited Harry ran towards us squealing. Jay, that was how he liked to call me.

I quickly put a smile on my face trying to look as though nothing had happened and greeted little Harry by picking him up and gave him a light kiss on his chubby cheek.

Sirius, instead, kept his sulking expression in place. How dramatic. He was such a bad actor...

'Hello, you lot! How was practice?' asked James as soon as he came in, looking rather sour and…_purple. _Yes, purple.

'What happened to you?' I immediately exclaimed half concerned, half amused not even bothering to answer his question.

'I got sunburnt,' he muttered. That was _evident_.

'Because you didn't let me put sunscreen on you, James!' Lily scolded him while sitting on one of the bench stools beside Sirius.

I suppressed a chuckle. James noticed it and glared at me annoyed. 'You're red, as well,' he noted sarcastically.

'I would have been far worse than you, if I hadn't used sunscreen', I replied angelically.

'What's sunscreen?' Sirius asked confused, finally catching up with the conversation and momentarily forgetting to appear contrite like a mourner at a funeral.

'It's the name of the lotion I gave you this morning, it protects you from the sun,' I explained to him exasperatedly, wondering how on earth he had neither read nor noticed the label on the little plastic bottle I'd given him that day.

'Uh,' he mumbled embarrassedly, 'So, is it like a potion, right?'

'Yes, almost like magic,' nodded Lily rolling her eyes.

'So, why didn't you use it, Prongs?' Sirius asked his best mate in a mocking tone.

James didn't acknowledge the question but huffed irritated.

''Because _Prongs_ thinks Muggle things don't work,' Lily answered for her husband, shaking her head slightly.

'Your bad, then,' Sirius said, 'See?' — he pointed at his arms and face — 'I'm all fine.'

'Thanks, Black. I really needed your caring support right now,' Prongs replied back at him with a fake glare. 'I at least don't use things without first asking what they are!'.

'At least,' Sirius shot back, 'I'm not looking like a boiled lobster at the moment!'

Banters like these were so usual between the two Marauders that Lily and I hardly stopped ourselves from laughing at them anymore. They acted tough most of the time, yet both of them were extremely prone to "childishness", as Lily used to call it.

After that, the evening had gone on quite ok, however, both Sirius and I had kept avoiding each other's eyes, barely speaking at all.

* * *

The following day I had lessons with Lily while the "boys" had taken Harry to the swimming pool. Lily had been hesitant about letting them go by themselves. Being both purebloods meant that they were rather ignorant of the oh-so-normal Muggle life and quite prone to create huge disasters. However, she then trusted them to go at the sole condition that Sirius, the most irresponsible of the two, would leave his wand at home for _me_ to use. He did that unwillingly, eyeing me warily, and Lily, being the observant witch that she was, realised something was off.

We'd been practising different kinds of Healing spells for a few hours when Lily asked me if I wanted to have a break. I readily agreed and followed her inside, where she'd promptly sat at the table after switching the kettle on with a flick of her wand.

I summoned mugs, teaspoons, tea-bags and the sugar bowl from the cupboard and finally sat in front of her. She seemed thoughtful.

'Did anything happen between you and Sirius yesterday afternoon?' she suddenly asked.

'Why do you ask?', I replied casually.

'He's been oddly cold towards you since when James, Harry and I came back from the walk last evening,' she clarified. She had noticed that, too, then.

'I think I've offended him,' I slowly said, not enjoying at all where the conversation was being directed to.

'How come?', she questioned me then, curiosity etched on her face.

'I reckon he didn't appreciate my reaction to one of his questions...' I explained not willing to say more.

'What was his question?' she kept on asking, looking slightly annoyed of my half-answers.

I sighed. It didn't really make sense to lie at this point.

'He — er — well,' I stared frustratedly at the empty cup in front of me. 'He basically said he likes me.'

'I knew it!' she exclaimed happily clapping her hands together. I didn't know what to say. How come had she noticed it before I did?

The kettle whistled. Lily summoned it before I'd even had the chance to stand up and scarper away from her questioning. She poured the hot water into the mugs and then stared at me in the eyes.

'What did you tell him?' she asked, quickly catching up with what might have happened then.

'I asked him if he was joking and well, that it wasn't right for me to feel anything for him, anyway.' I mumbled while noisily stirring the hot liquid with a tea-spoon.

'Why would you say that to him?' she scolded me, looking puzzled.

'I dunno. I sort of panicked, I guess,' I explained, 'I wasn't expecting him to think anything of the sort. He's Sirius Black for heaven's sake!'

'You still think of him as the book-Sirius...forgetting to put _yourself_ into the equation,' she told me wisely.

'What d'you mean?' I asked her surprised.

'He's changed since we got here,' said Lily, 'I couldn't connect the dots at first but then it was as clear as the sun he actually liked you. He's never been the type of man to dwindle and wait for almost a month before openly showing his interest for a girl.'

I liked how she used the word "dwindle". An amusing cartoon-like figure resembling a _dwindling_ Sirius holding a bunch of flowers sprouted inside my head, making me chuckle hysterically.  
Yes, I know. My mind's workings can be easily classified as demented and they're not the easiest things to explain to a sane person.  
In fact, said sane person was currently glaring at me affronted, probably thinking I was being heartless.

'Sorry,' I self-consciously apologised.

'Can you please tell me what's so _amusing_?' she asked irritated. I shook my head slightly.

'Nothing, nothing...' I muttered.

'Don't you like him at all?' Lily questioned me then, appearing concerned. And here came the Million Dollar Question.

'I like him all right,' I confessed for the first time, not only to Lily but to myself as well. She seemed pleased with my answer.

'So, what's the problem then?', she asked as exasperatedly as if she was talking to a rather thick child. Good question, Lily. What was my problem?

'Well, firstly he's technically my Father's age. Secondly, how am I going to breach the fact that, despite what I told him yesterday, I like him, too?' I said.

'Apart from Time-Travelling matters, he's exactly your age, so no excuses there,' she replied diverted, 'You just need to talk to him. I reckon you're thinking too much for your own sake.'

'Yeah, I've been told to do that a lot,' I sighed.

'I'm like you, you know. I wasted months just because I was too proud to tell James I'd been feeling something for him, too,' she confessed.

We fell silent for a few minutes and drank our tea quietly.

'What're you going to do, then?' she asked after finishing the last drop and putting her mug down.

'I'll walk to him tonight and say "I like thou Sirius, I was wrong and thou were right?" ' I said that opening my arms melodramatically. 'It's kinda sappy, you know.'

That was her turn to laugh at me and I soon joined her, howling like crazy.

* * *

**AN: And here comes another chapter! It's mostly dialogue, I know, but you get a better idea of how the characters interrelate to each other. I really like how Lily and Jemma's talk turned out... they are similar character who've lived very different lives. Lily's definitely the matured one here and Jemma has still to start believing in her own strength.**

**So, what do you think? Like it, hate it? Please, please, please review! Your comments play a very important role!**

**A huge thank you to everyone that has reviewed/faved/alerted this story! **

**JemmadA**


	6. Must be fleas

Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter!**

Chapter 6

**Must be fleas...**

Dinner was quiet, even more so than the previous one had been. The loudest noise was coming from Sirius who, stabbing moodily at the food Lily and I had prepared, had a permanent ugly scowl on his face. He hadn't looked at me once and had barely answered Lily's questions about their time at the pool. Apparently, mostly from what James had told us, they'd enjoyed themselves so much that Harry had even made a fuss before leaving. The little boy had arrived home asleep, clearly worn out from all the excitement of the day.

I knew that Sirius's mood was ultimately my fault and it nagged me a lot. I didn't want him to act all upset because of me. It wasn't worth it.

James had been eyeing him weirdly for minutes, clearly trying to understand what the fuss was all about. 'Are you ok, Padfoot?', he finally asked, sounding concerned.

Grunt.

'What's wrong?' he pressed on. 'What happened?'

Grunt.

James stared at him in disbelief. Sirius always answered _his_ questions.

'He's been normal all day at the pool!' he said to Lily and I when he'd realised Sirius wasn't going to utter a single word. 'I've got no clue of what's going on in his head now!'

'Must be fleas...' I suggested airily while pouring some more water into my glass. Well, it'd been coming to him, after all.

Lily almost chocked on her potatoes trying not to laugh. It looked like she thought he was being absurdly immature, too.

Finally, Sirius met our stares. 'How funny,' he then mouthed to me with a glare.

James, completely oblivious of what was going on, stared at each one of us with a puzzled expression. 'Does anyone of you bother telling me what's wrong?' he asked feeling out of the loop.

'Not now, James,' said Lily with a wry smile. 'It's dangerous to taunt a...dog full of fleas.'

I managed not to snicker at her words as Sirius had glanced in my direction defiantly, daring me to laugh.

Yes, he was acting like a spoilt brat, but I hadn't been that better, either, I admitted. It was time to end the ridiculous charade once and for all. It wasn't right of me to play with his feelings if they were true as much as he had to stop behaving like a grumpy old dog every time he was in my presence.

I took the chance when James and Lily had gone to check on Harry.

'We need to talk,' I told him forcefully while picking his dirty plate up from the table and balancing it on top of the stack of the ones already in my hand.  
He seemed surprised, even hopeful, at my sudden change of attitude and nodded.

'Later,' he said to me quietly.

* * *

Around midnight light knocks on my bedroom door jerked me awake in seconds.

'Jem, you awake?' Sirius's voice asked from behind the door.

'Yeah, just a sec,' I said yawning.

I frantically searched for the light switch, got up and went to the door. I opened it slightly and caught Sirius's tall figure standing in front of me, his left arm casually leaning onto the door frame.

'Can I come in?' he asked, sounding reasonably happier than at dinner. His mood swings were effectively driving me insane by that point.

I hesitated. I hadn't thought "later" meant in my bedroom in the middle of the night. 'Er...yeah, come in,' I said opening the door a bit more.

'You don't sound so convinced…' he smirked entering the room, 'Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything you don't want me to do.'

I blushed so hard then that my cheeks felt aflame. I took a deep breath and closed the door behind me as silently as I could.

Meanwhile he had sat on my bed eyeing me appreciatingly. I hadn't considered I was wearing a short thin nightgown only. Embarrassed, I tried not to look at him while sitting crossed-legged against the head-board and then wrapped myself in a blanket.

A snicker escaped his lips.

'Why are you so happy, now?' I asked him with a scowl.

'Oh, I've added the sums, I'm not stupid,' he explained,' You had a chat with Lily, she made you see reason and that's why you told me you wanted to talk,' he said lightly.

'What gave you the idea Lily and I talked about you?' I asked bluntly.

'Oh, please...' he laughed sarcastically, 'That little jab at dinner said everything!'

I looked at him warily, the warm orange light of the lamp reflecting softly on both of us. He was wearing a crumpled grey T-shirt and black shorts that gave him the look of a very sexy bill-board model. That was not helping. At all.

'You like me,' he said after awhile.

I stared at him flubber-gusted. 'How have you worked that out?' I asked him feebly.

'You said you wanted to talk,' he answered simply.

'That doesn't mean anything,' I replied. I knew I was being stubborn and immature, but I wasn't that keen on giving up either.

'So, what did you want to talk about then?' he questioned, hardly hiding a grin.

'I - I...' I stuttered.

'Want to finish that little argument we had the other day,' he completed the sentence for me. He was better than I thought. He'd clearly seen through my well built facade and struck to the point.  
I had underestimated him.

'Well...yes,' I agreed with a sigh.

'And,' he went on, 'you want to apologise.' I didn't say anything and he seemed pretty satisfied with that. 'Also,' Sirius concluded, 'You'd like to change a certain answer you gave me to a certain really important question.'

'Which question?' I replied back feigning misunderstanding.

'Why?'

'What?'

'Why? That was the question,' he was clearly enjoying himself. I was on tenterhooks.

'Why what?' I mumbled.

'You know perfectly well what I'm referring to, darling,' he said sweetly. He'd called me _darling_, urgh.

'Ok, ok you're right!' I exclaimed all of a sudden, tired of wordplays.

'Right about _what_ precisely?' he replied coming closer to me, his grey eyes on mine.

'I talked to Lily, she made me see reason, I wanted to talk to you about the other day because I've been silly and I really need to apologise and tell you I like you, too,' I said quickly without catching a single breath so that the last few words had turned out barely louder than whispers.

'Thank goodness!', he said beaming at me, 'I was starting to think I'd lost my charm...girls usually fawn over me!'

I threw a pillow at his unbearably happy face and snorted. Typical Black arrogance. At least he was all normal again.

'Pillow fight?' Sirius laughed throwing the cushion back at me.

'Be serious, for once!' I told him unthinkingly, catching the pillow before it would hit me.

'I'm always Sirius!' he exclaimed with a grin. _Phrase your words better, next time, Jemma_, I thought groaning. I'd already noticed how James and Lily were always too careful not to use the word "serious" around him and this must have been the reason why, apparently.

We stared at each other for a moment, both of us waiting for the other to speak first.

'I'm sorry, really,' I finally said breaking the tension, 'I wasn't expecting you to be interested in me, I thought we were just friends. I reacted without thinking.'

'That was obvious,' he said with a smile, 'Apology accepted, anyways.'

I nodded slowly, not meeting his eyes.

'So, where do we go from here?' he asked me hardly concealing his obvious wish.

'I dunno,' I said. I hardly knew who I was anymore, thinking about the future (or past, in my case) was very painful and threatening at the moment.

'Listen, Jem. I've never met anyone like you... I've finally realised what James must be feeling for Lily and I swear - I swear I'll fight for you to love me one day.' He said all that with such emotion that I nearly wondered if the person sitting in front of me was the real Sirius Black or just a polyjuiced fake. He seemed thousand light years far from the annoying young man I'd met almost a month before.  
Not to mention, how odd it'd been, seeing a faint blush creeping on his face while he was saying those words.

'You've changed,' I mused aloud, inwardly thinking back to Lily's words. She'd been right.

He smiled embarrassedly.

'I don't know if taking that as a compliment or what,' he mumbled lowly.

'It's a compliment, especially as it's coming from the one that'd nearly thrown a book at your pretty face the first time she met you,' I chuckled amused.

'So, you think my face's pretty,' he commented with "the smirk".

'Oh, shut up, you git!' I said blushing slightly.

The clock on my bed-side table now signalled 12.55, a light rain had started falling outside. The loud noise of a car engine could be heard from the dark empty street, its head lights irradiating the bedroom cream curtains and our silent faces for an instant.

'Have you ever fallen in love?' Sirius asked me quietly then. I realised that that was one of the questions he'd wanted to ask me the other day. '_Do you think love exist?'_ he'd asked me.

'I thought I did once,' I answered reminiscently, 'But it wasn't real.'

'Who was he?'

'My first real boyfriend...at the time I thought we were going to grow old together and all but then, it wasn't the case really,' I told him with a laugh.

'What did he do to you?' he asked rather menacingly, his mind already reeling with possible vendettas.

'Oh, nothing bad,' I quickly said reassuring him, 'We fell apart after a few years together. We weren't happy anymore dragging the relationship for far too long.'

'When was the last time you saw him?' he questioned.

'Almost a year ago.'

'And since then?'

'I - well - I went out with a couple of guys but I wasn't remotely into them at all.' I confessed.

'Good for me, then,' he said taking my right hand in his.

'Listen, Sirius,' I stated, 'I'm not a nice girlfriend type. I'm jealous, possessive -'

'I don't care,' he interrupted me, 'I'm extremely jealous and possessive of you already! I couldn't stand that obnoxious gangly teen-ager staring and flirting at you at the supermarket last week -'

'Oh, come on, that poor boy was just being funny!' I exclaimed surprised at his confession.

'Funny? How could that be considered funny? It was pathetic,' he said with a snort.

I glanced at him thoughtfully. 'Jealous, alright,' I admitted.

I was really starting to see him in another light, I realised. He was growing more and more on me. The step from liking him to loving him was going to be easier than performing the most basic spell, even easier than breathing.

Suddenly, all my doubts faded away and I saw the man, not the boy, in front of me for who he really was and the fear of getting hurt quickly turned into the fear of him disappearing from my life as swiftly as he'd entered it.

We complemented each other, after all. Both stubborn, proud and...reckless, yet different like light and dark. A perfect couple.

'I'm going to leave you to your thoughts, now,' he said sighing while getting up from my bed.

'No wait!' I told him grasping his arm. I didn't want him to go. Not now that everything had turned clearer.

'It's late, Jem,' he said smiling, 'And by the way, you'll know where to find me if you need me.' He winked at me and kissed me on the cheek, before wishing me a goodnight.

He left my room quietly with a grin on his face and I was left thinking.

What the hell.

...

Thirty minutes when by and I was still wide awake, desperately trying to calm down, to halt the flow of thoughts and ideas that were racing inside my head. I had rolled from one side to the other of the bed fifty times already when I decided to get up and act on my instincts.

I found myself in front of Sirius's door with no precise idea of what was going on with me.

_What are you doing?_ My brain had been screaming loudly. _Have you completely lost it?_

I opened the door without even knocking first and crept silently towards Sirius who, awake as well, squinted at me with a somehow complacent and winning look, visible even in the dark.

'So, you need help,' he stated calmly while motioning me to sit down beside him.

'I couldn't sleep,' I admitted with a sheepish smile.

'Neither could I,' he sighed sitting up straight. He looked at me tentatively before touching my hair lightly. He seemed to be considering what to say next.

I was strangely calm all of a sudden, I leaned into his touch and scooped closer to him, allowing him to drape an arm across my shoulders.

It felt right being this close to him. More than right, in fact.

'If I tell you this thing that's been nagging me for weeks...do you promise me not to scream at me like a banshee?' he asked me uncertainly.

'Is it really that bad?' I replied back frowning slightly.

'No it's normally a very very good thing but -,'

'Cut the rambling, please,' I interrupted him, knowing full well what he was going to say. It truly was a very good thing.

'I want to kiss you,' he blurted out then.

I suppressed a giggle and turned to face him in the eyes.

'Why would I want to scream at you, you silly?' I asked him surprised.

'I - never mind...' he said, his lips finding mine in an instant.

* * *

**A/N: I didn't wait too much for those two to get together because...they're both incredibly rash and impatient, they wouldn't have survived another day apart!**

**PLEASE, REVIEW! Huge thanks to all the caring readers that have reviewed this story so far!**

**JemmadA**


	7. Insufferable

Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter!**

**warnings: **slight adult themes.

Chapter 7

**Insufferable**

'Pa'foo! Jay! Wake up! Wake up!' Harry's voice came from somewhere not far from my face, waking me up with a startle. I opened my eyes groggily and, slightly confused, slowly focused on the little black-haired boy. He had apparently opened the door by himself and was eyeing me mischievously with those green eyes of his.

That was strange. He'd never woken me up before, he usually did that to Sirius not to me... _Pa'foo! Jay! Wake up! _His words rang strangely in my head. Padfoot and Jay.

It was then that I realised it wasn't my bedroom and, with a sudden jolt of happiness, I felt someone else's body laying beside mine. Sirius. Oh dear.

Flickers of memories from the previous night came back to me like colourful fireworks, spreading a content warmth inside of me. Sirius's face was turned on the other side, his dishevelled dark hair sticking up in all directions. I softly kissed his bare shoulder, momentarily forgetting the inquisitive eyes of the little child standing beside the bed. Harry grinned at me for a moment then ran away squealing excited.

'Mama! Dada! Pa'foo n' Jay kiss kiss!' I heard him loudly saying to his parents. I groaned. Harry knew very few words... so why did he have to rightly know "kiss"?

I had not intended to find myself in said situation, at all. Well, I hadn't intended to kiss Sirius and do whatever we did after that, either. Why did I have to be so rash? We'd barely sorted out our differences...how would Sirius behave now? Was he really that interested in me or had it only been because of the excitement of the chase?

_Chase_. I visualised a tiger chasing a deer. Was I the deer? No, I'd always been more of a...cat. Tiger against tiger? _Nah, Sirius is a dog_, I thought. Even worse than that then, cat vs. dog.

'What, Harry?' James confusedly asked from somewhere in the house, effectively putting an end to my idiotic thoughts.

'Pa'foo n' Jay kiss kiss!' the little boy repeated with a giggle. I should have Silencioed him with Sirius's wand while I had the chance. Too late, now.

I hurriedly hid myself under the blankets when someone approached and opened the door widely.

One. Two. Thr-

'Jemma? What are you doing in Padfoot's bed?' James's voice asked sounding very amused.

'Go away, James,' I mumbled uncovering my head and sending him an annoyed glare. He started howling with laughter at me so loudly that Sirius finally woke up.

'What are you laughing for, mate?' Sirius yawned stretching his arms, eyes still closed. He hadn't acknowledged my presence, yet.

'He's laughing at us, Sirius,' I said with a snort, James laughter ringing in my ears.

He'd done a double turn on the bed then looked at me in wonder, a sappy smile plastered all over his face. That was comforting.

'Hey,' I greeted him, feeling more and more confident that I - we - hadn't done a mistake.

'I thought it'd been a dream,' he whispered at me in wonder, caressing my cheek lightly. His grey eyes were shining brightly. He was happy. Thank goodness.

James's laughter suddenly stopped. He was watching Sirius incredulously. He must have caught that love-struck expression, too, I thought.

'No way! I can't believe it!' James exclaimed loudly, 'Lily! Come here pl-'

SLAM! The door shut in front of his face all of a sudden.

'What the hell, woman!' he shouted affronted at his wife.

'Leave them alone, you prat!' came Lily's response. She'd been the one to magic the door close.

'Thank you, Lily!' I said loudly. She laughed lightly in reply while dragging James away from there.

I turned my eyes to Sirius, who hadn't yet lost that funny dreamy expression and was still looking adoringly at me.

'I don't really fancy leaving the bed at all, you know?' I sighed giving him a light kiss.

He grinned. 'Yeah, it's pretty comfortable, eh?' he said casually turning on his back. His eyes staring at the white ceiling. 'I don't want to face Prongs, actually,' he continued with a frown, 'He's going to be insufferable for the next three years or so.'

* * *

Sirius's prediction revealed itself true as soon as I entered the kitchen for breakfast. The clock above the sink read 10.15 am while the sun shining outside seemed to announce a beautiful day on the making. The TV was on, yet none of the Potters were watching it, clearly preferring _Home Gossip _(me) today. James was munching his cereals while Lily'd been trying to feed Harry with some kind of mushy fruity food that the child seemed to dislike a lot. All three of them (yes, even Harry!) were sending me knowing smiles which I tried to ignore while brewing my morning coffee.

The aroma quickly filled the room, making me feel more comfortable and calm. It happened - and still happens - when I smell something familiar, something that still speaks of home.

'How are you today, Jemma? Slept well?' Lily asked me diverted. Was she going to pick on me, too?

'Er, yeah...well,' I mumbled sitting down at the table, a cup of strong coffee in my hand.

'Where's Padfoot?' asked James innocently while mixing some more cereals in his bowl.

'Er, still in the shower,' I answered awkwardly picking at a slice of bread.

'Pa'foo n' Jay kiss kiss!' Harry suddenly said clapping his hands together. James and Lily burst out laughing.

That was when Sirius came in, hair still wet, eyeing James and Lily with a suspicious look. 'What are you laughing for?' he asked.

'Pa'foo n' Jay kiss kiss!' Harry repeated giggling, very much enjoying everyone attention. Sirius couldn't hide a huge smile but kept silent. He poured some of the coffee I'd just prepared and sat beside me, smirking satisfied.

'So?' James asked.

'So what?' Sirius scoffed at him.

'Fleas gone?' Lily put in with a chuckle.

'Yeah,' Sirius said lightly buttering his toast, 'Everything's perfect.'

James seemed to hide a huge grin. 'How was the shower, Padfoot?' he asked, 'Was it _cold_ enough?'

'It was enjoyable,' he replied casually, apparently not willing to appear embarrassed in front of his best mate. I tried unsuccessfully to hide my face behind the cup, instead and let out a hysterical giggle, who turned their attention to me in an second.

'What have you got to say, Jemma?' James asked me.

'Me? Nothing!' I squealed.

He didn't seem willing to letting us go so quickly. 'How come Harry and I found you two in the same bed?' he pressed on.

'That's not your business, Potter' I shot back at him. Sirius nodded his head in agreement.

'She's worse than I thought,' James told Lily in an under tone. I looked at him warily.

'I told you so. She was in Sirius's bed, not vice versa!' she replied jokingly, giving me a look that said '_No offence intended'. _This was getting too uncomfortable already.

'True,' James went on unabashedly, 'That's a feat on its own. Yet, I wonder what Padfoot's planning to do now and _that_'s definitely _my_ business.'

'What d'you mean?' asked Sirius quickly, eyeing his friend with a frown.

'You owe me thirty Galleons,' he replied with a winning smile, 'If my guess is correct, you've just lost your _End Of Seventh Year Bet_, my friend.' Lily rolled her eyes in understanding and shook her head smiling.

I glanced at each one of them with a questioning look.

'Which bet?', I asked. Nobody had answered at first then Sirius sighed heavily and began explaining. 'It was on our last day at Hogwarts. Everyone was talking about the future and stuff like that when Prongs here swore to me he would marry Lily by the end of that year. So I bet him I'd never - well, this is embarrassing - willingly fall for a girl, instead. If I'd lost, I'd have had to give him thirty Galleons.'

He beamed at me, then faced James with a smirk. 'I'm glad to have lost,' he said calmly. 'I promise I'll give you the gold as soon as we get back to 1981.'

_'Incredible,' _James said, his mouth agape.

* * *

**A/N: Chap 7 done! This story is turning out longer than I expected...there will be 2/3 more chapters before the Back to the Past part...can't wait for that myself!**

**If you're liking this story please REVIEW! If you don't please REVIEW** **and let me know why. English isn't my first language -unfortunately- and I'm trying really hard here to do the best I can for this story to work. ****I'm writing for myself as well as you guys so, please, just a one word comment will benefit all of us! **

**Lots of Love to all my reviewers,**

**JemmadA**


	8. Surprise

Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter! **_I do own Jemma but that's a whole other story... ;-)_

Chapter 8

**Surprise**

'Moony's not going to believe this...Padfoot's in love - love - love!' I heard James singing to no one in particular, later that day. He had been extremely annoying during the whole Transfiguration lesson, that I'd been impressed with myself for not having hexed him to Antarctica, already.

Sirius, who was helping me in the kitchen, rolled his eyes for the tenth time as if to say 's_orry, my best mate is a prat_.'

I shrugged. 'That's fine,' I told him, 'I think he's happy for us, actually.'

'Happy for us?', he snorted, 'I reckon he's trying to _break_ us up, instead.'

'As if - wait - have you just implied we're - er - together now?' I asked him, bracing myself for a positive answer.

'I thought it'd be rather _obvious_, Jem.' he frowned tensing up a bit, 'You're ok with that, aren't you?'

'_Obviously_,' I replied with a grin. He sent me a brilliant smile in response and hugged me tight.

'I don't want to go back, Jem,' he sighed then, 'Death and destruction at every corner, fights, Death Eaters, Voldemort...traitors. I really don't want to.' He had slightly stiffened at the word "traitors", probably thinking of Peter. Knowing of Wormtail true colours had hurt him a lot, he'd been one of his best friends, after all.

'I think I understand - well, not really - but we've got a chance to make it better.' I said, my voice trying not to betray fear.

He looked at me worriedly for a moment.

'I know but life's perfect here. I don't want to sound selfish... yet a part of me really thinks we'd better stay here...safe.'

'You know you don't really mean it,' I said surprised at his confession. Was he truly willing to leave everything behind? To leave others alone with their mess?

'Maybe I do, Jem, maybe I do,' he replied softly, his voice sounding oddly distant.

* * *

The following month flew away in a heart bit between lessons, friendly moments and Sirius. I love remembering that period because it'd been one of the best in my life, even though the upcoming, terrifying adventure had been looming closer and closer each day.

The tutoring had gone so well that I'd surpassed everyone expectations. I could have easily taken practical OWLs and pass them with excellent grades, not to mention, I'd become competent in some aspects of NEWT level Transfiguration and Defence, in which I particularly excelled at. Being really good at imagining things had been fundamental for my understanding of the process involved in transfiguring objects and living things. I could successfully visualise something in my head and make it appear in front of me in less than a blink.

Magic was really amazing.

It was exhilarating feeling it pulsing in your veins and expressing itself by changing the world around you in a matter of seconds. Broken things could be repaired, multiplied, beautified, brought to life. Small and great things that'd transformed my life from ordinary to extraordinary.

Lily and I had also started learning how to become Animagi under the supervising eyes of James and Sirius.

It was easy to underestimate them, being always so childish and prone to laughter, however, both Lily and I soon realised how hard and dangerous the transformation really was. Yet, they'd achieved it during their fifth year at Hogwarts when they'd merely been two big-headed arrogant boys.

Now, they were highly accomplished wizards, the very best of the resistance.

Lily, instead, was less brash and energetic in duels, yet her spells were always well thought and rarely missed their target. Her theory was based more on quick thinking and precision than impulse and luck, which effectively made her a rather threatening opponent.

In a way, everything seemed perfect, as Sirius had told me.

However, all of us knew we could not wait much longer before returning (going, in my case) to the past.

Lily and James had became quieter and quieter as the days progressed. Even Harry had sensed something wasn't right. He'd become restless, waking all of us in the middle of the night with loud desperate cries.

Sirius had tried to lift the general mood with jokes and laughter, at first but then gave up, too worried himself to hide his worries any longer.

We knew he'd been screaming inside his head like the rest of us.

After all, I'd read the Harry Potter books several times and I had an inkling of what I was going to face. Sirius, James and Lily had gone through them, as well and it hadn't helped. While Sirius had found out about his probable gut-wrenching future and his brother's grim fate, James and Lily had been shocked to discover their son's burden, of him being one of Voldemort's Horcruxes.

It was common for me to find one of them crying their eyes out, holding Deathly Hallows in their hands.

* * *

The only thing that brought us smiles on our faces, during those last few days in the present, came as a surprise on a cloudy Thursday morning. Sirius and I were revising spells and counter-jinxes from one of the lists Lily had written at the beginning of my tutoring, when both our eyes fixed on the words '_Patronus Charm'._

'Do you mind trying it out?' Sirius asked, eyeing me tentatively.

I nodded silently, attempting to relax and concentrate.

I didn't need to think of a memory strong enough this time...because I only had to focus on one person. Sirius.

'Expecto Patronum!' I said determinately. Something silver sprouted out of the wand I was using, something, that wasn't remotely like the feeble see-through smoke of my previous attempts.

It was a dog.

Padfoot, to be precise.

I'd stared at the jumping silvery dog for a moment, then my eyes met Sirius's. He was shocked, as well, yet extremely pleased.

'It seems like you're my Patronus, Padfoot,' I said, completely stunned. He managed a shaky laugh.

'Come here,' he said opening his arms, ready for a hug. I took two quick steps and literally jumped on him, throwing my arms around his neck.

* * *

'So when's the wedding?' asked James after dinner, while we were all sitting on the red sofa pretending to watch a rather silly TV show. Harry was playing noisily on the carpet, a mixture of vibrant magical and Muggle toys scattered all around him.

Sirius humphed and threw a yellow plastic duck at him. James caught it without any effort and began squeezing it beside my ear, producing that stupid, loud quacking noise.

'No one's ever told you you're annoying, Potter?' I asked him, turning to face him exasperated after the fifth _quack-quack_.

'Lily says it every day,' he promptly replied, 'I'm used to it.'

'Well,' Lily interrupted chuckling, 'If this is annoying -', she pointed at the duck, '- think about him asking me out every day, for four years!'

'I needed to be persistent,' James shot back at her, 'You wouldn't have married me if I had not pestered you. You were so stubborn!'

'I've never had that problem,' Sirius put in half laughing at Lily and James's faces, 'Girls love falling at my feet, so I can't really empathise with your four-year-long chase, Prongs.'

'As modest as ever, Black,' I grumbled, smacking his arm lightly.

'Well, you've been the hardest to convince, I'll give you that,' he said to me amusedly. Lily and James snorted in disbelief, probably thinking on my same line.

'I thought I gave in pretty easily,' I muttered in an undertone.

'See?', he said, 'Point proven'.

* * *

**A/N: Another chappie done! I give up asking for reviews, guys. Hope you're enjoying the story, at least!  
A huge thank you to _joanvindiesel_ and _bananafreak97 _for reviewing the last chapter, it was really much appreciated! ;-)**


	9. Decision

Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter!**

Chapter 9

**Decision**

It was our last day in the present and Lily, with my help, was diligently packing Harry's new clothes and toys in a small travelling bag. The weather had been so horrible for the past three days that I'd literally turned into a stormy cloud myself, arguing with all of them all the time, especially Sirius.

'Are your parents going to be back soon after we leave?' Lily asked me all of a sudden.

'They'll be back next week as far as I know', I sighed, 'What should I do about them?'

'I don't know, Jemma, it's your choice after all...leave them a letter with a Confundus Charm on it, perhaps?' she suggested tentatively, not meeting my eyes.

'I don't like it, but it may as well be the only think that will work. I'm not really keen on leaving them without any explanation, though.' I said slowly, sitting on her bed.

'The Time-Turner will let you see them again, don't worry about that,' she said sounding far more hopeful than necessary.

'And if I die?' I asked moodily.

Lily opened her mouth as if wanting to say something and then closed it. What had she wanted to say?

'Anyway,' I went on, ignoring her reaction, 'Let's talk about something less depressing like - er - well, never mind.' It was hard to think of anything at that moment. Lily sat down, too, with a sigh.

'You don't really have to do this, Jemma,' she said in a low voice.

'Do what?'

'Coming with us, risking your life, getting into something that's not even your problem,' she answered, a small, red T-shirt with a kangaroo on the front in her hands.

'What?' I snapped at her angrily for the first time, 'It is my problem, too, Lily! You don't get it, at all, do you?'

She stared at me in disbelief. I'd never used that tone with her.

'I've waited all my life for this, I know it's not the fantastic happy story everyone would dream about...but it's good enough for me! I care about all of you a lot, you know!' I ranted.

'I know but -,'

'I'm not a coward, Lily,' I said drily interrupting her.

'I've never said you were one,' she replied in a low tone. I calmed down a bit at that and stared down at my bare feet.

'We know who you are and we trust you,' continued Lily eyeing me somehow apologetically, 'Sirius loves you because he admires your loyalty and strength...I'd never thought possible for him to care for someone more than he does for James.'

I smiled faintly at her words. I had thought that, too.

'Do you love him?' she asked me then with a an inquisitive look. I wondered surprised why she was asking me that.

'Yes, I do,' I said sincerely, unconsciously playing with the white gold bracelet Sirius had given me the week before.

'Why haven't you told him that yet, then?' she promptly pressed on.

'How d'you kn -?

'Sirius's going berserk trying to find out what you really think, James told me that. He apparently had a chat with him the other day, he fears you're taking it all a bit too lightly...' she explained.

'Why didn't he tell me this himself? After the Patronus and all, for Heaven's sake!' I exclaimed stunned.

'That's Sirius Black for you...' she said with a chuckle, 'And you're exactly the same as him, at keeping feelings all bottled up inside, you know.'

'No, I'm not,' I said stubbornly.

'Yes, you definitely are,' she said, patting my hand exasperatedly.

* * *

The day had progressed moodily, each one of us lost in their own thoughts, either packing or sitting alone in a corner, barely talking at all. We'd already devised a rough plan for the following day. Sirius had suggested we took the train once again and use the Time-Turner from there. He said it would've given the idea of a journey more than anything else could have.  
When back on October 1st 1981, we were going to create a Portkey that would transport us from Australia to the outskirts of Hogwarts to then meet with Dumbledore. Time-Travelling, in fact, works through time but not space, or so we'd thought at the time.

The small golden Time-Turner was now sitting on top of the mantelpiece, waiting for being used. I had seen it only a couple of times during the last two months as Lily had kept it safe in her hand-bag most of the time. It was a rather curious thing, so small and fragile, yet powerful beyond comprehension. It looked like a pocket watch with a mechanical display visualising the present date and time. Minuscule gears on its right side allowed you to change the small numbers, hence resulting in an almost instantaneous journey through time.

In the letter that had accompanied it, it was stated that I - well, future me - had been the one to design it. A unique item it was, with such a dangerous potential. That had made me feel hugely better. If the Time-Turner existed, it'd mean I was going to survive.

...

Later that afternoon Sirius approached me to ask me out to dinner. He'd told me he wanted to have a proper date with me before going back. I readily agreed to that. I really needed a distraction, after all. At 7 o'clock we apparated to a nearby coast town and had dinner at the _Blue Boat, _an old fishing vessel recently transformed into a fine-dining restaurant.

The marine theme of the interior gave us the impression of being inside a pirate ship and Sirius had laughed loudly at the fake stuffed parrot that'd greeted us with a croaky "hello" when we entered. We shared a huge seafood platter and a bottle of sparkling white wine while talking about all sort of things like good friends do. Yet, we were more than that.  
I had a glimpse of our reflections on the large window panel and smiled. We really looked like one of those perfect couples you usually see at the movies. I was wearing a dark blue summer dress, my hair caught up in a bun while Sirius dressed in a grey shirt and black jeans, with his long hair falling on his shoulders, seemed like a cross between a rockstar and a British Lord.

He laughed a lot when I'd told him that.

'A rockstar AND a British Lord?' he stared at me grinning, 'You, girl, are crazy.'

'Well, you do come from a noble family after all...,' I said to him with a chuckle.

'True. But my mother blasted me off the bloody tapestry when I ran away, don't you remember?' he replied, his eyes darkening slightly.

Mentioning his family had suddenly made me think of something so very unpleasant that I paled in an instant.

'What's wrong?' Sirius asked me, having noticed my expression.

'What's your family going to think about - about us?' I questioned him uncertainly. I was a Muggleborn after all.

He looked at me for a moment then answered with a sigh. 'They're not going to be pleasant, that's for sure.'

...

After dinner we strolled down the main path quietly, hands joined together.

'Lily told me you talked to James about me,' I suddenly stated looking at him. He seemed annoyed at that and stiffened slightly.

'Is it possible that everything I say to Prongs will eventually find its way to the entire world?' he mumbled not meeting my eyes.

'You should have talked to me, Sirius,' I said forcefully, 'I'm the one you should talk to about our relationship, not bloody _Prongs_!'

'Don't have a go at James!'

'I'm not having a go at him! Be reasonable for once!' I snapped at him. He was being ridiculous.

'_I_ am not reasonable?' he said loudly letting go of my hand.

'I don't want to fight with you!' I shouted at him. People nearby sent us snotty, superior looks, appearing irritated.

'I'm sorry,' he apologised to me, ignoring the stares.

'That's ok,' I said, snatching his hand back into mine and gripping it firmly. He let out a nervous chuckle and shook his head.

'What made you think I'm taking you lightly?' I asked him concerned.

'I dunno,' he mumbled, 'You've been a little distant this past few days after...the Patronus.'

'I'd think the Patronus spoke for itself, Sirius,' I said stunned, 'I've been distant - as you put it - because I'm worried and I hate rain, not because I'm having second thoughts about you!'

'I'm relieved to hear you say it,' he said, relaxing a bit. I scoffed in disbelief. Didn't he know me at all after more than a month together and two months of living in the same house?

...

Before midnight, Sirius and I apparated back to the house slightly dejected after our little discussion. We entered the house from the back door, silently trying not to wake anyone up at that hour. It was a shock to see the lights on in the kitchen and Lily slumped on the table, crying quietly.  
She lifted her head at the sound of us entering and hastily dried her tear-stricken eyes. She wasn't expecting us back so early, I realised.

'Hey Lily, what's wrong?, Sirius asked her softly stepping closer to her.

'I'm scared,' she half sobbed, 'I can't - bear - to lose my family to that - that monster!'

By "that monster" we knew she was talking about Voldemort, the damned maniac. It didn't take us long to hug her, trying to soothe her as best as we could.

'Everything's going to be fine,' Sirius said firmly. 'Everything's going to turn out ok.'

'Hey, you lot, what's going on here?' asked a sleepy James entering the room, 'Throwing a par - Lily? What's wrong?'

She shrugged her shoulders as if to say '_don't worry it's nothing'_. James looked at Sirius and I questioningly.

'Lily's worried about going back to the past,' I said. 'We're all worried, in fact,' I added. Sirius nodded and let out a sigh while pulling me closer to him.

All four of us turned quiet after that.

While they were sitting at the table, I checked the pantry for some chamomile tea. It would've helped us sleep, perhaps. I luckily found it hidden behind a stack of tuna cans on one of the upper shelves. _Sogni d'Oro_ was its label. Golden Dreams. It's a typical Italian way to say goodnight to someone, a rather sweet one in my opinion. I don't know why that feeling of not really belonging anywhere struck me so strongly while I was holding that little tea packet in my hands. All I knew was that I was going to leave again when I had barely settled somewhere. It was hard.

'What d'you think your parents would say if Lily and Harry stayed here?' James asked me all of a sudden when I brought the hot drinks to the table.

'NO WAY!' Lily shouted before I'd even opened my mouth to answer.

'Lily, listen,' James began sounding worried, 'Sirius, Jemma and I need to go back to find the Horcruxes and help the Order but you and Harry can stay safely here!'

'I don't know how you could even suggest such a nonsense, James!' Lily snapped back at him, 'I won't stay here not knowing what's happening to all of you!'

'Lily, I think James is right, there's no need for you and Harry to come with us, you'd be in hiding, anyway!' I said quickly ignoring her glares.

'Jem's right and James should stay, too,' Sirius put in, 'All three of you are Voldemort's main targets in 1981. It's not safe!'

'We're not staying HERE!' James and Lily shouted at us affronted.

'Idiotic Gryffindors!' I muttered in an undertone. James, Sirius and Lily eyed me warily. It seemed like they'd heard me. Oops.

'What?' I stared at them defiantly, 'You've got a son that needs you alive, not dead! Do you want him to grow up an orphan at the Dursleys? Do you want him not to even remember how you two look like?'

'No,' they said mortified, both not looking at me. I'd touched a sore nerve but I knew it wouldn't have changed their opinion... they were Gryffindors after all.

'If you go back,' I insisted, 'You're going to be hidden by the Fidelius Charm which, Secret Keepers or not, will put Sirius, Remus and even Dumbledore in more danger than they are at the moment,-' I paused, 'If you stay here, you're safe and Harry can play and be a kid with both of you.'

'Yeah, and leave the whole mess on your backs!' James exclaimed annoyed.

Before I could reply to him, Sirius interrupted me placing a hand on my shoulder.

'We'll talk about this tomorrow morning. Big decisions are best made in the morning,' he said with tired eyes.

...

That last night I slept restlessly, waking up no less than five times with images of monsters and masked figures, sweating profusely. Were they premonitions? Or just unconscious images I'd created in my mind?

At six o'clock I was already up and about, practising spells and hexes in the backyard and focusing on perfecting my technique as much as I could.

It had finally stopped raining and a pale sun was rising above the horizon. Thank goodness. I would've hated leaving this place with rain hammering down on my head.

Nearly two hours later, I finally heard the shower running and stepped back inside to make breakfast. I was setting the table when Lily came in mumbling a feeble 'good day', her sleepy eyes indicating that she hadn't slept at all, either.

I brought her a cup of coffee and some biscuits, then joined her at the table.

'Thanks,' she said gratefully.

'You're welcome,' I replied, my voice sounding too falsely chirpy and lively to be mistaken for real. I waited for her to speak first, while boringly reading a couple of leaflets I'd found inside the letter box that morning. On the first page there was an offer for the Harry Potter DVDs...how ironic.

'Listen Jemma,' Lily said clearing her voice, 'James and I have decided we're coming, no matter what.'

'I'd have been surprised if you'd decided the opposite,' I said calmly, feigning disinterest.

'I know you don't like it -'

'- but it's your decision,' I finished for her.

* * *

**A/N: here's the last chapter before the past! I know most of you are waiting for that part really badly but I reckon this chapter fits. There are many important things in here that will determine the next part of the story. Talking about the Padfoot Patronus...well, that's really important, too. From the HP books I understood that Harry could cast the Patronus at 13 because love is his strength. Hermione instead, finds it difficult because she foremost uses her brain. That's more or less what happened to Jemma. When she'd realised her love for Sirius she managed the Charm after a month of being together with him. Anyway, it doesn't end there...as I said there's more to it than just that. Moreover, if Jemma may sound too good at magic...well, guys, she's 22, not 11 and has got a bit of Dumbledore's flair. She's not perfect though and has loads to learn still. But you'll see. Thank you _Analie209_ for mentioning these things in your review, it really helped me understand what I should have explained better in previous chapters. **  
**Also thank you _Sirius Luffer_, _bananafreak97_ and _joanvindiesel_ for reviewing once again!**

**JemmadA**


	10. October 1st 1981 Part 1

Disclaimer: _**I do not own Harry Potter!**_

Chapter 10

**October 1st 1981 (part 1)**

We were ready.

Sirius and I were holding hands, slightly leaning into each other, while Lily, carrying an oddly silent Harry, was firmly grasping James's arm. All five of us were standing still at the station platform, counting the minutes left for the train to arrive. We had very few bags with us, all enchanted to store more than it seemed, as Hermione Granger had done during the Horcrux Hunt in Deathly Hallows.

It was 11.28, January 15th 2011.

The train approached the station slowly and noisily as if it knew we were dreading its arrival. Too worried to speak we boarded the economy carriage one after the other, hands shaking slightly, our hearts hammering fast.

This was it.

The doors closed behind us with a loud clank and the locomotive started moving, steadily catching speed beneath our feet. We quietly moved to a group of empty seats far for prying eyes and sat down, looking at each other determinately.

Lily took out the Time-Turner from her bag and instructed us to get hold of its shimmering chain. Even Harry gripped it firmly with his little pink hand while staring at the golden device his mother was carefully setting up.

'Ready?', Lily whispered to me. I nodded.

Taking a last glance at the sunny landscape from the window panel, I mouthed '_Goodbye_'.

It was then that everything turned into a blur.

...

We fell onto the ground hardly.

Rain was pouring down on us so thickly that I inwardly cursed myself for hoping otherwise only hours before.

'Damn you, Padfoot!' yelled James at Sirius while massaging his buttocks, 'You didn't consider that trains are risen above the ground, eh?'

'Oh, well, sorry I hadn't thought of that!' Sirius replied back affronted already soaked from head to foot. We quickly walked away from the rails and approached a small group of trees on the left.

'At least we didn't use the Time-Turner while travelling on a plane,' I muttered to Lily exasperatedly. She smiled at me while conjuring two large umbrellas and then handed one to Sirius and I.

James, still huffing, rummaged inside his backpack and took out the toy dragon I'd levitated when we first met. After concentrating for a few seconds he said "_Portus_" pointing his wand at it.

The dragon glowed for a moment, indicating that the Portkey was now ready to be used. James smiled satisfied. Setting up illegal portkeys wasn't the easiest job in the world, after all.

All of us grabbed the stuffed toy so firmly it seemed as our whole lives were depending on it. Five seconds later, I felt like being jerked forward into a storm of wind abruptly, myriad of colours swimming and muddling all around me for what'd seemed like ages. All of a sudden, my feet touched down so heavily that I fell to the ground once more.

Sirius readily helped me standing up as my hands and legs were still shaking.

'_I hate Portkeys_,' was my first coherent thought.

The second thing that came to my mind, then, was something on the lines of _'It's bloody cold, out here!' _

The third ... the third was of pure wonder.

...

_'Perched atop a high mountain on the other side, its windows sparkling in the starry sky, was a castle with many turrets and towers.' (H.P. & the Philosopher's Stone, p. 83)_

_..._

Hogwarts appeared in front of me as I'd always imagined it to be like.

We were standing in front of the gates, the sky above us covered in stars, still shivering from the Australian rain combined with the Scottish freezing cold.

While James sent his Patronus to Dumbledore, Lily had quickly cast Drying Charms on all of us, definitely making the wait more comfortable.

Ten minutes later, a dark cloaked figure emerged from the cold misty darkness to open the gate for us. When it stepped closer, his wand held alight, I recognised who the man under the cloak was.

Even if I'd never seen him before, I could easily tell that those greasy dark hair, that pale face and that long hooked nose belonged to none other than Severus Snape. He was young, though, as I'd never pictured him before. Young and with a noticeable scornful expression on his face.

'Hello Severus,' Lily said trying to sound polite, 'We're here to see the Headmaster'.

Snape looked at her avidly for a moment then glanced at James, Harry and Sirius with a scowl. Finally his eyes fell on me.

'Who is she?' he asked coldly.

'It's not your concern, Snivellus,' answered Sirius with a snarl. Enmity between the two ran still deep, I realised.

'Tut tut, Black,' he sneered, 'For your information, I need to know precisely who comes in and out of this castle.'

'Yes, and inform your bastard of a Master like you did last time?' James growled at him in disgust. Even after reading the books, James still thought that all the problems had started because of Snape, who had been the one to recount half the Prophecy to Voldemort. The fact that he apparently loved Lily, as well, hadn't helped at all, either.

Snape paled visibly at those words.

'James, stop it!' Lily admonished her husband with a glare. Snape seemed pleased with Lily's defence yet didn't comment. His stare turned to me once again.

'What's your name?' the Potion Master asked, this time referring directly to me.

'Jemma De Angelis,' I answered briskly, 'I'm here to see the Headmaster.' James and Sirius clicked their tongues annoyed at me.

Snape nodded slightly at my words.

'Well, come in then,' he said finally, opening the gate in front of us.

We followed him up the path in silence until we reached the moonlit enormous front doors.

'Nice to know people still enjoy themselves in these dark time,' Snape suddenly stated looking at James, 'Nice tan, Potter.'

'Good to know you still haven't found the showers, Snivellus,' James replied back with a smirk at his arch-rival, 'Awful grease, by the way.'

Sirius and I chuckled at that diverted, while Lily punched James's arm and muttered 'Behave!'

Snape ignored our reactions, yet a faint flush of colour had creeped to his sallow cheeks. We entered slowly into the Entrance Hall, our steps resonating loudly on the levigated light marble floor. A few torches on the wall had been lit so that I could cast fleeting looks at the majestic interiors.

Severus Snape didn't seem to acknowledge my interest and proceeded brusquely up the magnificent stairs on our right.

Many faint lit stone covered corridors and moving staircases later, we found ourselves in front of a grim looking gargoyle.

The entrance to Dumbledore's office.

'Raspberry Jam,' Severus said.

The statue immediately moved out of the way, letting us go up the stairs. At the top, Snape quietly knocked at the door.

'Come in,' an old voice said.

Snape then opened it and let us in one after the other. Albus Dumbledore was sitting at his desk, his hands holding a newspaper and a somewhat defeated expression etched across his old face.

He'd also looked like I'd always thought he would have. From his long white hair and beard and crooked nose, to his piercing blue eyes and half-moon glasses. That night he was wearing a set of golden embroidered scarlet red robes, accompanied by a matching pointy hat.

His eyes had lit up at seeing the Potters back so soon. For him, they had barely left his study hours previously. He didn't seem happy to see Sirius, though. Wonder why?

'Lily, James, Harry and...Sirius, welcome back,' he greeted them, then he looked at me with a smile, 'And yes, Miss De Angelis, it's a pleasure to finally meet you.'

'It's a pleasure to meet you, too, sir,' I replied a little bit awkwardly. I'd never been good with authority figures, they tended to scare me somehow.

He smiled pleasantly at me.

'Severus?' he then called, glancing at Snape, still standing grimly behind us.

'Yes, Headmaster?' he politely asked.

'Miss De Angelis is going to be our guest here at Hogwarts. She'll be your student from tomorrow. I trust you will teach her whatever you will deem necessary. Come to see me tomorrow at ten, we will talk about this in more detail.' Dumbledore said. Lessons with Snape? Oh, dear.

'Fine, sir,' Snape replied drily, 'I shall be going then.'

'Goodnight, Severus,' the Headmaster said softly. Snape nodded and hastily exited the office, not uttering a single word.

Dumbledore locked and secured the door behind us with a wave of his wand, then stared at each one of us once again, his eyes falling thoughtfully on Sirius.

'Have you travelled to the future with James and Lily against my wishes, Sirius?' he asked him with a steely voice.

'I'm not the traitor, Headmaster,' Sirius said fiercely, his hands curling up into fists.

'I'm not implying that, my boy,' the old man replied.

'But you fear it!' Sirius scowled.

'Peter Pettigrew is the spy, sir,' I said strongly, grasping my boyfriend's hand forcefully.

'I see,' the Headmaster sighed, eyeing all of us tiredly, 'I am deeply sorry then, Sirius. I had not seen that one coming.'

* * *

**A/N: The PAST! October 1st 1981 (Part 2) is coming up tomorrow!**

**Thank you bananafreak97, joanvindiesel, Sirius Luffer and Disney-Princess-In-Disguise for reviewing my last chapter! **


	11. October 1st 1981 Part 2

Disclaimer: _**I do not own Harry Potter!**_

Chapter 11

**October 1st 1981 (Part 2)**

'May I ask you how long you've been away, Lily?, Dumbledore asked immediately after we'd sat down on four plush chairs he'd conjured in front of his desk.

'Roughly two months, sir,' she answered, 'We've been tutoring Jemma in Defence, Trasfiguration, Charms and Theory of Potions as she hadn't been aware of her magical abilities before we arrived.'

I nodded slowly in confirmation.

'I was aware of that from the letter,' Dumbledore stated looking at me, 'Your country of origin has - pardon me - a questionable taste in matter of blood purity. Severus Snape will assess what you have learnt until now and will devise a study plan accordingly.'

'I haven't got a wand yet, though,' I said.

'A trip to Diagon Alley is necessary, then. I shall ask someone - not currently under threat - to accompany you there tomorrow,' he continued calmly. Sirius and I shared a defeated look.

'Yes, sir,' I replied then, not looking overjoyed at all. Albus Dumbledore seemed to understand my reluctance, yet went on with his questions nevertheless.

'What are Lord Voldemort's plans, Miss De Angelis?' he asked me.

'He intends to kill Harry, sir,' I sighed dejectedly, 'In the books, Pettigrew was made Secret Keeper and told him James and Lily's whereabouts and...'

'Oh, dear...' the Headmaster murmured, bracing for the worst.

'Harry didn't die, though,' I added heavily.

'How come?' he questioned me surprised, but not quite. Trelawney's Prophecy had to be worth the fuss, after all.

I began to recount the story as I'd known it since I was twelve, James, Lily and Sirius only helping me when I'd been forgetting to mention small detail linked to more important events. The old man patiently listened to us, asking very few questions here and there. His expression seemed to darken as the story progressed.

When I got to Slughorn's memory in Half-Blood Prince, Dumbledore halted me with a raised hand.

'How many Horcruxes has he made by now?' he asked me, having caught up with the rest of the story already. Genius.

'There should be five of them,' I stated. 'Slytherin's locket, the Gaunts' Ring, Hufflepuff's Cup, the Diary and Ravenclaw's Diadem,' I counted on my fingers, 'The least difficult to get, in my opinion, are the Diadem, which is safely hidden here at Hogwarts, the locket in Grimmauld Place -' Sirius half groaned at that, '-and the Ring in Little Hangleton, which, a part from the curse it carries, can be dealt with well enough.'

'What about the Cup and the Diary, then?' Dumbledore asked us.

'The Cup is inside the Lestranges' vault at Gringotts and the Diary is in Lucius Malfoy's possession, as far as we know,' Lily promptly answered.

'These are dire news, indeed,' the old Headmaster sighed in a low voice. He seemed to be pondering what to say next.

We remained silent, waiting for him to process all the things we'd told him.

'Alas, we cannot despair now, that is sure,' he continued after awhile, 'Lily, James, Sirius, I have arranged a safe house for you and little Harry to stay, until I will be able to move you back unharmed to Godric's Hollow. I will set a Portkey for you in just a moment.'

I eyed him surprised. Was I going to stay at Hogwarts alone?

'Miss De Angelis,' he then added to me, 'The house-elves have already prepared nice comfortable quarters for you here in the castle -'

'Can't Jemma stay with us, sir?' Sirius interrupted him, sounding upset.

'It is not the case, I am afraid,' Dumbledore said calmly, 'Miss De Angelis will stay here and attend private lessons with Severus Snape.'

'I - we - won't see Jemma at all, will we?' he asked broken-heartedly.

'I am really sorry. I understand you may have all become very good friends, however, Miss De Angelis has a tough month ahead of her. It is going to be much safer for all of you, if you will keep her story a secret, as well,' he concluded firmly.

'But she needs us!' Sirius exclaimed frustratedly, 'We're the only people she knows! You can't ask us to leave her here alone!'

'Miss De Angelis won't be alone, Sirius,' the Headmaster reassured him, 'Severus and Minerva will keep her company.'

Sirius threw a dark look at him and kept his mouth shut. I knew the idea of me spending time with Snape, above all people, wasn't reassuring to him, at all.

Dumbledore opened one of the top drawers behind his desk and took a small brass paper-holder out.

'_Portus_', he said pointing the Elder Wand at it. And once again, I'd seen a Portkey being created.

'It will leave in five minutes,' he said, passing it to Lily. She took it in her hands, then turned to face me with watery eyes. She hugged me tightly, little Harry squeezed between the two of us.

'I'll miss you, Jemma, be strong, ok?' she said to me half-sobbingly.

'Bye bye, Jay,' Harry told me waving his little hand. I ruffled his dark hair, my throat too tight to utter a single word.

James hugged me next with a sad smile. 'Thank you for everything, Jemma.,' he said, 'We'll see you soon, I promise! And don't let old Snivelly wind you up, ok?' Both of us let out a chuckle at that, then he smirked and hinted me to look at Sirius.

He was staring blankly at me, not knowing what to say or do. He didn't want to leave me there, that was clear, yet he knew he had just a few minutes left to say goodbye.

I turned to him and hugged him fiercely. Tears now flowing freely down my cheeks.

'I love you,' I whispered in his right ear.

His breathing stopped for a moment, then his mouth was on mine, kissing me as if we were going to not see each other ever again. With the corner of my eye, I could see James and Lily beaming at us while Albus Dumbledore was looking...surprised.

I didn't want to say goodbye, not now that I'd finally managed to say those three words to him.

'I love you, too, Jem,' he whispered back emotionally while unwillingly letting go of my lips. He then glanced embarrassedly at his ex-Headmaster and gave me a last fleeting hug.

I stood still while watching him and the Potters - my family - getting hold of the Portkey and vanishing into a blur of nothingness.

I sat down on my chair once again, hands hiding my face.

'You will see them again very soon, Miss De Angelis,' Dumbledore commented after a few minutes, breaking the heavy silence that had set inside the room.

I nodded slowly, lowering my hands. I'd never felt so alone in my life before. The Confunded letter I had left for my parents on the kitchen table, swam guiltily in front of my eyes, making me wonder how many more people I was going to leave behind.

'You must be special Miss De -'

'Call me Jemma, please, sir,' I said, my voice still sounding broken.

'As you prefer, then, Jemma,' he smiled at me, 'As I was saying, you must be a very special person. I would never have imagined Sirius Black caring for someone so strongly as it seems he does for you.'

I didn't comment on that. It was getting tiring to hear everyone saying it. Sirius and I had been extremely lucky to have found each other, that's all.

'I shall confess,' he pressed on, 'I had feared for him to be the spy, as I thought him incapable of true love. I was mistaken it seems.'

'How could anyone think of him like that?' I asked annoyed and irritated. Sirius was a good person, with or without me in the picture.

'He tends to mask his feelings rather well,' he explained patiently, 'And acts rashly.'

I couldn't disagree with that. However, Lily had said I was the same.

'I need to ask you a favour, Jemma,' Dumbledore said slowly.

'What kind of favour, sir?' I asked.

'Try keeping your relationship with Sirius Black a secret for now. Him being related to the Lestranges and Malfoys will not help you pass unobserved. Moreover, the least Voldemort will know about you, the best.' he explained quietly, eyeing me pensively.

'I understand,' I said.

I wasn't going to endanger Sirius's life just because we happened to be in love with each other.

'If you are ready, Jemma, I will take you to your quarters, now' Dumbledore said.

* * *

**N/A: So...the next part of 'The Circle' now begins!**

** Thank you joanvindiesel, bananafreak97, Sirius Luffer (hope you liked the scene between Sirius and Jem by the way), Disney-Princess-In-Disguise, Sara253xxx and Analie209 for reviewing once again, it's really nice knowing you're all enjoying this story!**

**I'm trying to keep the characters as real as possible. Perfect relationships don't exist and perfect guys don't exist on Earth, either, unfortunately. I've been through that and I guarantee you: the first month is reasonably the best, lovey-dovey and all that, then the problems start. About Snape then...it's difficult for James and Sirius to forgive and forget all the enmity between them and Snape for now. And, he hasn't saved Harry yet. But Snape is definitely going to be important to the story and you'll read more about him.**

**Oh well, said that, what are your guesses on what's going to happen next?**

**JemmadA**


	12. Of HouseElves, Owls and Wands

Disclaimer: **_I do not own Harry Potter!_**

Chapter 12

**Of House-Elves, Owls and Wands**

The quarters I had been assigned to, the entrance of which was a solid mahogany door, were situated, as I'd understood, at one end of the fourth floor. To exactly remember where they were, I had had to pinpoint two particular odd marks. A rather ugly painting of an old sour looking warlock and a finely crafted statue of a laughing nymph.

The rooms looked comfortable and clean, with that little quirky appearance one would immediately connect to extravagant, out of the square people. The main space had been furnished with an elegant desk, a large dark bookcase filled with ancient-looking books and a puffy-looking dark red sofa. On the right wall, an off-white little door connected the main area to a small bedroom with en-suite. All in all, I couldn't have asked for more.

My watch was still reading the Australian time of 2011, so I scanned the room once more to find a clock, or something similar, that could tell me what time it was. Unfortunately, the odd clock in front of the desk didn't have numbers, but planets and stars instead. I groaned. I would've had to ask someone to the teach me how to read it the next day.

Frustrated, I went inside my new bedroom and sat heavily on the four-posters bed. I'd instantly noticed it had Gryffindor colours. My mind thought desperately of Sirius once again.

Fighting back tears, I remembered Lily's words.

_'Be strong.'_

I'd always faced problems head on and I knew this was absolutely not the time to break down like a two year old. I needed to accept my situation now and go along with it.

Sighing heavily, I laid down, my clothes still on, and closed my eyes tiredly.

...

I woke up several hours later, when I heard a light knock on the door.

'Miss?' a squeaky little voice said, 'Ember has brought you breakfast and fresh robes'.

I hastily got up, my hair a complete mess, and entered the main room, where a tray covered in food was waiting for me on top of the desk. On the sofa, plain black robes had been diligently folded with on top a weird pointy hat.

'Does Miss need anything else?' the voice asked. My eyes instantly fell on the small bat-eared, odd-looking creature that was staring at me with those large clear orbs from the centre of the room.

I nearly fainted.

It's one thing seeing a weird creature in a movie and it's another one entirely finding yourself in front of it, for real.

'Hello,' I managed to say awkwardly, completely forgetting what _it_'d asked.

'Hello Miss,' _it_ replied, 'Ember wants to know if Miss needs anything else.'

Ember. _It_ was a _she_, then. A she House-Elf.

'Er - what time is it, please, Ember?' I asked, still half-shocked.

'9 o'clock in the morning, Miss,' she answered.

'Er - thank you,' I said, 'Thank you for bringing me breakfast and clothes, too.'

'Miss is really good,' she replied, 'Ember is happy to serve Miss. But now Ember needs to go back to the kitchens.'

I nodded with a smile and the little creature vanished with a resounding _crack._

Chuckling quietly, I set my watch to the right time and sat at the desk, picking up a piece of toasted bread. I'd realised all of a sudden that I was in fact really hungry, as my last meal had almost been a day before.

While having breakfast, a huge barn owl caught my attention by pecking noisily at the window, a letter tied visibly around one of its legs. I'd never been so grateful to books as in that precise moment.

True, this world was new to me, but I undoubtedly knew more about it than I'd first thought. Hurriedly, I went to open the window letting the owl come in, an air of visible self-importance in how it was ruffling its plumage. The owl put its right leg forward and I carefully took the message in my hands.

The animal, satisfied with its job, hooted loudly and flew quickly outside, leaving a couple of feathers on top my half-eaten toast.

Opening the message, my heart plummeted to my feet.

_I'll be waiting outside your quarters at 10 o'clock sharp. S. Snape._

I sighed. This was going to be tough and uncomfortable. I'd never particularly liked Snape, even though I knew he was on the good side. However, how good was he now? Lily was still alive after all. The guilt and bitterness that had eaten him in the books couldn't be as strong at this time.

Having to be taught things from him was going to be inexplicably hard. Especially if he dared calling me a "dunderhead".

After a quick bath and nerve-breaking ten minutes in which I'd tried as best as I could to understand how to wear witch robes - not to mention the bloody hat -, I heard a knock at the door.

It was 10 o'clock.

Feeling completely ridiculous in those things, I braced myself for the worst and opened the door.

Severus Snape was waiting for me looking bored and barely acknowledged my presence. It was very irritating.

'Good morning,' I greeted him politely. Opening hostilities so soon wasn't worth it.

'Good morning, Miss De Angelis,' he answered unwillingly, 'The Headmaster notified me you don't own a wand and assigned me the job to accompany you to Ollivanders' in Diagon Alley.'

_If looks could kill_, I thought.

'Thank you, Mr - er - Snape,' I awkwardly said, 'I haven't got any money on me, though.'

'The Headmaster is going to support you for the time being,' he explained in a monotone, hardly hiding his contempt.

...

The journey to London had been silent and fast. Snape had side-along-apparated me to the Leaky Cauldron, a very dingy place that was extremely easy not to notice in the busy Muggle street. The interiors were dark, the old wooden tables scratched and ruined. It seemed to me to have entered Medieval London without a Time-Turner.

Very few people were drinking or smoking at the pub. Tom the barman, had a somewhat weary look on his face. War hadn't surely been good for his business, I thought.

He eyed us darkly, especially Snape, however he was polite enough to greet us, nevertheless.

At the back of the pub, the famous solid wall stood between us and the magical alley. Snape expertly took out his wand and tapped the right bricks. Immediately, a hole started forming on the wall, growing bigger and bigger to the size of a roman arch.

Without a word, Snape began to walk briskly down the alley, while I, looking like a small dog following its owner, tried to keep his pace as much as I could.

The alley, like the pub, was nearly empty. Closed signs were noticeable on most of the shops. It was easy to understand how bad the situation was in the Wizarding World.

Snape abruptly stopped in front of a dusty shop window. On the door, a very old sign read _Ollivanders: Makers of Fine Wands since 382 BC_.

We entered the small narrow shop quietly and a tinkling bell rang announcing us to the owner. What seemed like thousands of little wand boxes were piled everywhere from floor to ceiling, covering the four walls around us.

_These are a lot of wands to remember_, I thought shocked.

'Good morning,' said a soft old voice all of a sudden. The short thin man with odd-looking pale eyes had finally come to serve us, exiting slowly the mysterious back of his shop.

'Good morning, Mr Ollivander,' Severus and I replied politely.

'How can I help you?', the strange man asked.

'I need a wand, sir,' I explained obviously. It was a wand shop, after all.

He looked at me curiously, then eyed Snape with a recognising glance. 'Severus Snape. Ebony and dragon heartstrings. 12 inches. Nice and springy. Am I correct?'

'Yes, sir,' Snape muttered in a low voice, sitting on the only chair in the room.

Ollivander then turned his eyes on me once again.

'May I ask your name, Miss?' he politely asked.

'Jemma De Angelis, sir,' I answered, feeling slight uncomfortable. I wasn't supposed to tell much about myself, Dumbledore had told me.

Luckily, he didn't press on that but began an interesting speech in wandlore, in which he explained the materials and cores he preferred to use for his creations. After assessing me with a magical tape measure with silver markings, he started muttering to himself and taking boxes out of the many piles leaning onto the walls.

'Try this one, Miss De Angelis,' he said while opening a box containing a reddish-looking wand, 'Mahogany, unicorn hair, 10 inches.'

I took it but nothing really happened. Ollivander snatched it from my hand and, without any further ado, replaced it with another.

'Ash, phoenix feather, 11 and a quarter inches.' he described it.

Once again, nothing happened.

I tried and tried and tried for what had seemed like an hour when finally the perfect wand chose me. Sparks had bursted out of its tip and a sudden warmth had shot through my hand and arm.

I beamed happily. I finally owned a wand!

'Ah, yes. This is the one. Chestnut, phoenix feather, 11 and three quarters inches. A very fine wand, indeed.' he told me with a smile, 'Treat it well.'

Snape, who had sat on a battered chair for all that time with an impatient look on his face, got up and hastily paid Ollivander.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you once again to joanvindiesel, Analie209, Dysney-Princess-In-Disguise and my new reviewer Chocolate Fish ! It's going to be difficult for me to update every day from now on but I'll try my best, I promise!**


	13. Truce

Disclaimer: _**I do not own Harry Potter!**_

Chapter 13

**Truce**

'The Headmaster asked me to start lessons with you, tonight, after dinner,' Snape told me when we arrived back to the castle. His demeanour towards me had not changed a bit since morning and with a pang of sadness, I thought of Sirius and the Potters. I missed laughter and friendship already.

Above all, I'd have preferred having Sirius with me at Ollivanders. The choosing of a wand was such an important step that Snape had only managed to damper the whole thing with his cold, uncaring behaviour.

'What are you going to teach me?' I asked in a normal voice, trying to be friendly. We were standing in front of my quarters.

'We will talk about it later, Miss De Angelis,' he answered briskly. 'I cannot stop chatting now because I have a class to attend to in twenty minutes. Stay inside your rooms, the House-Elves will bring you lunch shortly.'

'Am I a prisoner?' I shot back incredulously. I didn't want to spend the entire time inside four walls while at Hogwarts!

'No, you definitely are not,' he replied with a sneer. 'Dumbledore needs to speak to the students first about you being a guest here. There's no need to behave like a child.'

I glared at him malevolently and entered my room, shutting angrily the door behind me. What a jerk.

Huffing disgruntled, I paced the room in circles for a while, trying to calm down. I'd intended to stick to my first resolve of keeping a cool head, but it was getting harder and harder by the second. I'd always hated to be ignored and neglected. In fact, attention had always been easy to demand and get being an only child.

I took out my new wand from the box and looked at it carefully. The wood was delicately polished so that the warm brown colour shone even more in the light. It was a very beautiful wand. I inwardly rejoiced at the fact it contained a Phoenix feather, it seemed rather fitting after all.

...

After several hours, a couple of House-Elves and another owl later, I was sitting on the sofa yawning widely, waiting for Snape to come and direct me to the dungeons for our first ever lesson.

Like that morning, he knocked at my door once, to signal he was outside and I readily exited my quarters, wand in hand.

He slightly nodded at me in greeting and motioned me to follow him.

I was completely lost after a few turns and a couple of hidden passages, wondering how I'd have been able to remember all of that.

When we reached the cool, dump, barely lit dungeons, I shivered slightly.

The Potions classroom reminded me too much of macabre horror movies, for my liking. It was filled with grey desks, chairs and cauldrons and at one end, several dingy dark shelves stood full of strange slimy ingredients and dusty vials filled with odd-looking liquids.

'Please, sit down,' he muttered gesturing the uncomfortable wooden chair in front of his desk.

I sat down without a word, my face expressing the unwillingness to be there at all. Snape looked at me wearily for a moment, then he spoke, his voice barely more than a whisper.

'The Headmaster wishes me to assess your current magical abilities to be able to highlight any weak point you have. In addition, I am going to show you what the Dark Arts are and look like.'

'Dumbledore wants me to know the Dark Arts?' I asked stunned. I hadn't surely seen that one coming.

'He thinks you need to be prepared,' he pressed on, irritated at my question.

'Prepared for what?' I demanded.

'I don't know,' he sneered.

'Why does he want you to teach me anything, anyway?' I asked frustratedly.

'I cannot fathom,' he answered with that unbearable superior tone.

I'd had enough.

'Listen, I perfectly know you don't like Sirius and James, but that doesn't give you the authority to treat _me_ like scum. If you want me to learn anything from you, you should change your attitude now!' I finally snapped at him.

'Well, well, another Gryffindor, I see,' he scowled at me.

'I've never been sorted,' I replied.

'I don't need a Hat to tell me where you belong,' he persisted, shaking his head tiredly.

'Lily was a Gryffindor,' I stated boldly, hoping to get a reaction out of him.

'What? Who do you mean?' he seemed lost for words. Yes, he _definitely_ didn't know who I was talking about.

'Lily Potter. She was your best-friend,' I told him. 'Why do you hate Gryffindors so much if your childhood best friend was one?'

'Did - did she tell you that?' he asked me with a strange look.

'No one told me anything, I just knew it,' I said airily with a smirk.

He looked at me very suspiciously and tried to keep contact with my eyes. I broke the connection immediately, knowing that he was probably trying to find information through Legilimency. He seemed unnerved at my quick understanding of his actions and stood up abruptly.

'Who are you?' he asked me dangerously.

'You know my name perfectly well, Severus,' I said calmly, using his name for the first time. I'd gotten tired of Mr and Miss and all that.

All of a sudden, I saw him reaching for his wand and pointing it at me. Before he could either hex me or curse me, I'd cast a Shield Charm to protect myself from him.

He seemed satisfied at my fast reaction and sat down once again.

'Have you ever practised the Dark Arts before?' he questioned me then.

'No, I haven't,' I answered truthfully.

'Do you know - not tried - any Dark Spell or Curse?' he pressed on.

'I know about the Unforgivables - Imperius, Cruciatus and Avada Kedavra - and let me think...there's Sectumsepra, too' I said calmly.

'How do you know that one?' he growled at me.

'I've read it in a book called the Half-Blood Prince years ago,' I replied lightly, hardly hiding a smirk. I knew I'd been stupidly reckless by saying that.

He stood up once again, a mad glare etched across his sallow face.

'Who are you? What game are you playing at? What do you know about me?' he fired at me, wand at the ready.

'That's my business,' I said harshly.

'Legilimens!' he shouted, pointing his wand at me.

'Protego!' I cried, shielding myself once again.

'Stupefy!' he shouted then.

'Protego!'

'Fight back!' he bellowed. 'Or don't you know how?'

'Expelliarmus!' I said then, but he easily dodged it, eyeing me with a snarl.

It was then that he nonverbally shot a yellow jet of light at me, his face already set for the win. I immediately reacted by conjuring a metal shield out of thin air, which effectively stopped his curse, and rapidly shot '_Impedimenta_' back at him.

He shielded himself easily, then lowered his wand slowly.

'How long have you known magic for?' he asked me curiously.

'I - I don't know what you mean,' I stammered.

'Dumbledore explained to me you are new to magic, which explains your lack of a wand before today,' he said, 'As far as I know, Black, Potter and - Lily - have been teaching you for the past two months. However, how you conjured that shield and defended yourself cannot be possibly achieved in such a short amount of time.'

'I like Transfiguration and Defence,' I said defensively. Well, that was true.

'It's not enough,' he replied unconvinced.

'James and Sirius are really good teachers,' I continued with a glare.

'Oh, please!' he said sarcastically, 'Potter is a troll and his scumbag sidekick isn't any better!'

'Shut up about them!' I shouted angrily at him.

'Did they tell you I am the bad, dark Death Eater, didn't they?' he pressed on vindictively, madly pacing back and forth. 'Did they appear to you as saint-like, perfect winning men, didn't they? But have they ever mentioned to you they tried to kill me once when we were still in school?'

I had forgotten about Sirius's most stupidest idea of a joke. To tell the truth, I still hadn't figured out how he could have done anything like the sort.

'I know about that,' I said quietly. 'Sirius acted like a fool and James saved your life.'

'Saved my life? Saved my life?' he repeated, his eyes almost out of their sockets, hands gesturing wildly in the air.

'You know,' I suddenly said trying to wound. 'I think the reason why you're still so bitter is because Lily chose James instead of you.'

I definitely shouldn't have said that.

Snape whipped his wand at me so fast that I hadn't even had the time to react. The spell hit me hard, so that I was thrown back several meters, landing painfully on top of a group of desks.

I groaned loudly and inwardly cursed Snape and my big mouth. Severus Snape approached me breathing heavily, trying to calm down.

'Don't you dare, saying anything of the sort ever again,' he seethed at me while grudgingly sporting a helping hand. I didn't take it.

'Truth hurts,' I muttered, getting up from the ground, my back aching all over.

He tried to ignore my words and sat behind his desk once again, his hands visibly shaking.

'This is going to be unpleasant,' he said in a low voice.

'Unpleasant?' I yelled, staring incredulously at him. 'Unpleasant? You're the most unpleasant thing in this castle! I'm not going to cower in terror at your behaviour like those poor students of yours do, understood? You may not be completely bad, but you behave like a jerk!'

He stared at me hardly, his lips pressed in a thin line.

'I did realise it was not going to be easy to scare you, I assure you,' he finally said with a sneer.

'Well then,' I huffed. 'If you respect me, I'll respect you.'

'Deal,' he said staring at me amusedly, holding out his right hand. I could not believe it.

'Deal,' I muttered, taking his hand.

* * *

**A/N: Jemma is definitely not perfect...I really enjoyed writing this chap 'cause you can see her irrational side more clearly than ever. **

**Thanks to Analie209, joanvindiesel, Sirius Luffer and Sara253xxx for reviewing chap12!**

**About wands... I chose Chestnut for Jemma because she has a strong personality and has a huge connection to her past (or future?). Jo (I think) says the wood is good for Charms but...combining that with Phoenix feather I can imagine it's going to be perfect for Defence and Transfiguration, as well.**

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed the read!**

**JemmadA**


	14. Hogwarts

Disclaimer: _**I do not own Harry Potter!**_

Chapter 14

**Hogwarts**

Over the following weeks my life had settled on a few basic routines that mainly included meals in the Great Hall with the teachers and evening classes with Severus Snape. After a rather rough start, Snape and I had become somewhat friends and I began to appreciate his impressive knowledge and some of his less - er - radical views.

The lessons turned out harder than I'd first imagined, Severus pushing me to learn as much as I could of both theoretical and practical magic. He'd even offered to teach me Potions, which, a part from the disgusting ingredients I had to handle, reminded me a bit of cooking and, overall, was enjoyable enough.

The only thing that hadn't really appealed to me was learning about the Dark Arts. Even though I wasn't actually practicing it, Severus had performed some of it in front of me using small animals or insects as guinea-pigs. It'd been horrifying, yet made me understand what I was going against and how to counteract it.

However, those were the lessons that drained me the most, that made me feel oppressed by the gravity and hopelessness of it all. I'd barely entered the magical world and it seemed I'd already been burdened with tasks beyond my abilities and comprehension.

Dumbledore had roughly explained to me the plan he had in mind. He primarily wished for me to improve duelling skills as much as possible, for then be able to join and help the Order. From then on, I, with the help of some others, were going to be given the task of finding and destroying the Horcruxes. We had decided to leave Ravenclaw's diadem safely inside the Room of Requirement for the time being, as we hadn't yet considered the best way to destroy it.

Of all the Hogwarts' teachers, Minerva McGonagall became the closest to a friend I could have possibly asked for. I'd first met her during my second day at the castle, when Dumbledore had asked me to join him for lunch in the Great Hall. Awkwardly trying to pass unnoticed by the students while admiring stupefied the enchanted ceiling above my head, I'd sat beside her muttering a shy 'Hello'.

'Hello,' she replied warmly. 'You must be Miss De Angelis. It is a pleasure to meet you. I'm professor McGonagall, Transfiguration teacher, but you can call me Minerva.'

'It's a pleasure to meet you, too, Minerva,' I said with a smile. I wasn't expecting her too be so friendly.

'Don't worry, Miss De Angelis,' she told me, eyeing the student body in front of us, 'Ignore them. Each one of them is going to stare at you for the next week, then the news will wear off and they will finally leave you alone.'

'Er - yes,' I smiled faintly at the severe-looking witch beside me, hundreds of eyes still staring curiously at me. 'I don't really like the spotlight.'

'You will have to get used to it, I am afraid,' she told me then, lightly patting my shoulder. 'This is Hogwarts.'

Though I'd tried to follow her advise, whispers and mutterings kept following me for more than a week. Everyone had been wondering the reason why I was staying at Hogwarts as I was neither a student nor a teacher. Wild rumours saying that I was the Headmaster's niece or most probably one of Voldemort's main targets started circulating almost immediately. However, the funniest of all had been the idea of a fifth year Hufflepuff student that I actually was Merlin's daughter arrived to help them from the past.

The bit about Time-Travelling was certainly spot on, yet there was that little glitch of me being from the future, instead.

As far as I knew, Dumbledore had kept my real identity hidden to everyone. The official version was that I was an Italian witch come to Britain to improve my studies. Pretty boring, to say the least. The only two people currently aware of my intention to join the war were Severus and Minerva, the only teachers in the Order of the Phoenix.

Severus, however, knew I was friend with Sirius, James and Lily, as well.

'We're not having class tonight,' Severus told me on a tuesday afternoon in the middle of October.

'Why?', I asked surprised.

'Order meeting, tonight,' he explained in a very low voice.

'Why haven't I been invited, too?' I questioned irritated. I was missing Sirius a lot and after two weeks of no communication I was desperate to see him again.

'Dumbledore thinks you're not ready, yet,' he answered simply with his typical annoying voice.

I humphed. 'Could you at least tell Sirius and the Potters hi for me?' I asked tentatively, hoping for a positive answer.

He nodded grudgingly.

'And that I miss them a lot?' I added, fingers crossed behind my back.

He looked at me bewildered for a moment, then turned on his heels and left without answering, his black cloak billowing behind his back. That was a definite no.

I was going to accept the little I could get from him for now.

All in all, every day at the castle had been an adventure. Between talking portraits, ghosts, curious students, house-elves, Peeves and Filtch, it was easy to find someone to talk to or run away from. The latter had been a bit of a problem, though.

Escaping from things meant that I'd been getting lost several times on a daily basis.

Severus stopped accompanying me from my quarters to the dungeons after the first week, which resulted into a nasty encounter with Peeves and Filch and a rather late start to our next lesson. In fact, I'd been hurriedly descending the tenth flight of stairs when my right foot got stuck inside a step. Yes, inside.

My mind immediately reeled to Goblet of Fire, Harry holding a large golden egg, his wand and the _Map_. The Marauder's Map! Why hadn't I thought about it before? But steal it from Filch was impossible at the moment, as I was stuck on a bloody step with no one there to help me out.

To complicate matters, Peeves arrived floating and singing five minutes later. He found my situation to be extremely amusing.

'Missy, Missy, didn't you know that little step's nasty?' he sang, laughing at my misfortune.

'Please, Peeves, could you call someone?' I asked mortified, knowing already that he wasn't going to help me at all.

He smiled mischievously at me and went away. What was he going to do? Water balloons or dung bombs most probably. I groaned. Stupid Poltergeist!

A few minutes later, I heard someone approaching swearing loudly.

'If you've called me here for nothing, Peeves, I swear I'll throw you out of this castle without the Headmaster's permission!'

Perfect. That voice was unmistakably Argus Filch's.

His old scowling face appeared at the top of the stairs, his eyes squinting in the feeble light my wand was casting.

'Who's there?' he asked immediately.

'It's Jemma De Angelis, Mr Filch. Could you please help me out of here?' I said pleadingly. My leg had started to hurt badly by then.

'Miss De Angelis?', he asked surprised. 'What are you doing here?'

'Oh well, I was meant to meet Mr Snape for our evening study session half hour ago but I got lost and ended up stuck here.'

He promptly gave me a hand and freed me from the tricky step, Peeves flying noisily above us. I had barely managed to open my mouth to thank the caretaker, when a huge bucket of water fell on our heads, drenching us completely.

Filch let out a furious growl and ran after Peeves, leaving me there without a second glance.

Fifteen minutes later, I entered Severus's office, my clothes still dripping water. In the confusion of it all I'd forgotten the incantation for the Drying Charm.

Severus lifted his head from the big tome he was reading and let out a diverted chuckle.

* * *

**A/N: And this is how I imagined Hogwarts life would be like...hope you enjoyed it! **

**Thanks to Sara253xxx, Sirius Luffer, joanvindiesel, Analie209, Chocolate Fish, Disney-Princess-In-Disguise and matt-hardy-lover-101 for reviewing chap13 and to all of you that alerted or faved this story!**

**JemmadA**


	15. Of Patronuses and Sirius Matters

Disclaimer: **_I do not own Harry Potter!_**

Chapter 15

**Of Patronuses and Sirius Matters**

'Have you ever encountered a Dementor?' Snape asked me at the beginning of one of our lessons, during my fourth week at the castle.

'No, I haven't,' I replied hiding a shiver, slowly placing the quill I was holding down onto the desk.

'Do you know any methods on how to repel them?' he pressed on.

'Yeah,' I nodded. 'The Patronus Charm is the only way to shield people from their effect.'

'Incorrect,' he promptly said.

I eyed him warily. What did he mean by "incorrect"?

'The Patronus Charm is rather effective, yes, yet it is not easy to cast and most witches and wizards cannot conjure a full-fledged Patronus strong enough to fight Dementors,' he explained patiently. 'In my opinion, the best way to do so is using Occlumency. Hiding thoughts and memories of happiness deprives Dementors of the very precise thing they feed of.'

'It makes sense,' I said in a low voice, understanding his reasoning. That must have been why the book Snape had poorly marked Harry's essay in his 6th Year.

'Yes, it does,' he replied with a wry smile. 'However, in our case, I do not have the time and patience required to teach you Occlumency, hence I will be satisfied with you knowing how to cast the Patronus Charm, instead.'

'I've already done it,' I said complacently. 'Sirius taught me how.'

Severus's face quickly formed the typical scowl reserved for every single time I'd mentioned Sirius's or James's name.

'Show me,' he ordered then, watching me carefully.

I definitely had to get it right.

_Happy memory, happy memory..._

I thought of Sirius kissing me in the Headmaster's office and those three words...

'Expecto Patronum!'

And once again, the silver shaggy dog came out of my wand, running and jumping all around us for a few moments before disappearing into thin air. Severus had followed its progress with curious eyes and I'd heard him muttering '_I have seen that dog before.._.'

'Do you know why Patronuses take different forms for each single witch or wizard?' he asked me with steely eyes. I really hoped he hadn't guessed right.

'Well, not really,' I tried. 'I reckon it depends on which animal a witch or wizard is most connected to?'

'Yes and no,' he said. 'Sometimes it may take the shape of another person's Patronus, a person who the caster is strongly linked to.'

'Linked such as in a relationship?' I asked interested, thinking of Sirius and me.

'Yes and no again,' he replied frowning. 'The relationship might not be reciprocated.'

I instantly realised he was talking about himself and his doe Patronus which matched Lily's, yet I didn't comment on it. He had fallen quiet.

'What about the "happy thoughts" one has to think of before casting the Charm?' I questioned him.

'They are not just "happy thoughts", Jemma,' he said with an odd voice. 'The Headmaster tends to refer to them as memories or thoughts which speak of true love. These thoughts can be generated from a friendship, a relationship or anything related to strong positive emotions towards someone.'

I found it so strange hearing him talk about love that I'd remained speechless for a few seconds.

'So, you need to be able to focus on someone you love to cast the Patronus...' I said to him then.

'Or simply accept the fact you love or care for someone, yes.' he concluded.

'And that's why it's a very tricky charm to cast,' I muttered thinking back at my first disastrous attempts.

'Indeed,' he agreed looking at me thoughtfully. 'Just as a curiosity,' he said then. 'Why do you think your Patronus is a dog?'

'I - well - it's personal,' I said quietly. 'What's yours?' I asked knowing full well that the questioning was going to end there.

'As you put it, it's personal,' he replied annoyed.

I smirked at him and wrote down what he'd just explained to me.

'The Headmaster asked me to inform you, you are going to be inducted into the Order of the Phoenix this Saturday night,' he suddenly said after a few minutes of total silence apart from for the low scratching noise of quill on parchment.

'Really?' I exclaimed happily, lifting my head.

'Yes, really,' he sneered. 'I wonder why you are so eager to join the Order when during the last months the Dark Lord supporters have killed several people who were in it.'

'I want to help,' I said coldly, hiding the real reason behind my happiness.

'You don't know what you are going up against,' he said.

'I don't care,' I replied stubbornly.

'Don't you have a family?' he asked me then curiously.

I paled. 'It doesn't matter,' I answered, not meeting his eyes. His question had hit me hard. Almost a month had passed since I left my time. My past now seemed like a remote different life I could hardly remember.

'It looks like it does, however,' he whispered carefully, noticing my reaction.

* * *

Saturday came sooner than I'd expected, bringing a lot of rain and an even colder weather.

Saturday, October 31 1981, I realised with a gasp, looking at the calendar pinned on my bedroom wall. A coincidence? No, that must have surely been Albus Dumbledore's idea.

Hogwarts had been decorated with gigantic pumpkins from Hagrid's garden and students were chatting cheerfully about the evening feast. Everything seemed so normal at the school that I sometimes forgot what was going on outside.

Tonight's meeting was surely going to warn me of the current dangers, effectively bursting the bubble of safety I'd found at Hogwarts.

At 9 o'clock, when all the students had gone back to their dormitories singing and laughing, the Headmaster, Minerva, Severus and I left the castle unnoticed and apparated to a safe location hidden on a Scottish island. The place had been protected by a Fidelius Charm with Dumbledore as Secret Keeper and consisted of a small weather beaten cottage that had the appearance of having been long abandoned.

The weather was even more terrible than at Hogwarts and all of us quickly entered the small building to escape from the piercing cold.

Dumbledore promptly lit a fire and began setting up the meeting room. It was cosy and warm, with a long wooden table, many comfortable-looking chairs and an old red and brown sofa. A small door on the right connected the main area to a tiny study and the upper floor rooms.

Minerva set the table with food and beverages from the Hogwarts' kitchens and I, not knowing what to do, sat down waiting for others to arrive.

At half past nine, when most of the Order's members had already filled the room, someone eagerly knocked at the door. Minerva immediately went to the entrance and asked the security questions.

'Names?'

'Sirius Black -' Sirius's voice said clearly making my heart leap with joy all of a sudden, ' with James Potter, Lily Potter, Harry Potter and Remus Lupin.'

'How many points did I detract from Gryffindor the day you shamefacedly called me Minnie Cat?' she asked with a slight grin.

'Er - 100 points, right?' he answered sheepishly.

'Correct, Mr Black!' she said, then went on asking James, Lily and Remus their respective questions.

When Minerva opened the door, Sirius, James holding Harry, Lily and Remus Lupin entered shivering uncontrollably. With the corner of my eye I saw Severus glancing at all of them darkly, except for Lily, while feigning being busy sorting a pile of parchments.

Dumbledore had specifically advised me not to act as if I'd know Sirius and the others. This was meant to be my official presentation to the Order of the Phoenix, after all.

It was hard, however, not to look at Sirius who, smiling widely, had sat on the vacant chair on my right. I'd almost forgotten how handsome he really was after a long month apart. He was wearing Muggle clothes as usual, the strong scent of his aftershave making me feel slightly dizzy.

'I've missed you like crazy,' he whispered to me while unzipping his black leather jacket.

'Me, too,' I murmured back, after checking that no one had noticed our little exchange.

James and Lily smiled politely at me, acting as if we'd never met each other before. Harry, however, was still awake and waved at me enthusiastically.

Remus Lupin and others looked surprised to see him, usually a bit shy, greeting a complete stranger.

I waved back at the little boy with a smile and he giggled happily on his father's lap.

* * *

**A/N: Sirius's back! I'm sure that many of you are happy about that, right? ;-)**

**Huge thanks to Analie209, joanvindiesel, Sirius Luffer, Disney-Princess-In-Disguise, Sara253xxx and Chocolate Fish for your wonderful reviews! I wasn't particularly happy with the last chapter but I'm glad you enjoyed it anyway.**

**JemmadA**


	16. The Order of the Phoenix

Disclaimer: **_I do not own Harry Potter!_**

Chapter 16

**The Order of the Phoenix**

At around ten o'clock everyone was gathered at the long table, chatting quietly, passing secret information and latest rumours between butterbeers and firewhisky shots brought by a drenched looking Hagrid. The half-giant had arrived last, apologising to Dumbledore over and over again.

I'd been receiving many curious looks from the Order members who were wondering who I might have been.

On my part, I'd recognised some of them from the books. Remus Lupin, who was sitting right in front of me, had been the easiest as he'd come along with Sirius and the Potters as well as looking exactly as I'd expected him to be. From his short light brown hair to his pale face and the slightly shabby robes he was wearing, he appeared somewhat older than his friends.

Among the other members, Moody had been quite easy to pinpoint, too because of his deeply scarred face and fake leg, Elphias Doge for the weird hat on his head and the Longbottoms for being the only other couple in the Order after James and Lily.

I'd also noticed Wormtail was missing. Had the Order been already informed of his betrayal? What had happened to him?

Absorbed in my thoughts, I didn't even realise Dumbledore had stood up from his chair, calling everyone's attention. He cleared his voice and I finally looked up embarrassedly.

It was then that the Headmaster began to speak and everyone fell quiet, listening carefully.

'Good evening, everyone,' he said from one of the ends of the table. 'The main reason why I called you here tonight is to inform you of our new recruit, Jemma De Angelis.'

All the eyes in the room immediately turned to me and I smiled politely in response.

'Jemma here has relevant information on our enemies and is willing to help us from now on. It is because of her that I was able to prevent rather dangerous attacks aimed to defeat Dorcas, Benjy, Lily and James.'

The first two stared at me gratefully, while the Potters smiled knowingly at me.

'Unfortunately,' Dumbledore continued gravely, 'a traitor has been apprehended among the Order.'

Afraid whispers and mutters ran through the table.

'Peter Pettigrew is not here, tonight.' the Headmaster pressed on with a steely voice. 'I have been informed he had been passing information to Voldemort for the past year.'

Remus, looking gobsmacked, was shaking his head in disbelief and tried to catch his best friends' eyes. However, James was mutinously staring at the half-empty butterbeer bootle in front of him and Sirius was glaring darkly at the ceiling, his fists on the table. It was clearly a sore point for both of them still.

'You knew?' the werewolf asked them then, correctly deciphering their lack of surprised reactions. They kept quiet, avoiding Remus's question.

'Yes, we did,' Lily answered for James and Sirius.

'Why haven't I been told?' Remus questioned, sounding angry staring at each one of them.

'I requested them to keep it quiet, Remus', intervened Dumbledore sounding rather tired. At that, Remus seemed to relax a bit and nodded slowly at the old wizard.

The other members, still in shock, had remained quiet for a couple of minutes before speaking out.

'Is Pettigrew the reason behind the attack on Fabian and Gideon?' asked Dorcas Meadows angrily after awhile.

'Most probably,' Dumbledore answered severely. 'I am almost certain he is linked to the McKinnons and Bones murders, as well.' Swear words and mutters raised even more at that.

'How did you figure it out, Albus?', Doge asked with his wheezy voice.

'Jemma informed me about it,' he explained vaguely, gesturing in my direction.

Once again, every person in the room turned their eyes to me.

'Pardon me for asking,' Remus said loudly, 'But how could she possibly know about it when even I, being Peter's - friend -, have been fooled?'

Many heads in the room nodded in approval and cast suspicious glances at me.

'I trust Jemma and her story,' he answered simply, 'I cannot and won't say anything else on this particular subject.'

Sirius caught my hand under the table and squeezed it lightly, as to give me strength. I appreciated that a lot. It was nice knowing I had him on my side, no matter what.

At Dumbledore's words, however, the majority of them seemed appeased and didn't seem willing to openly question my integrity anymore.

'On a more important note,' the Headmaster went on, 'I urge all of you to keep vigilant and be more careful than usual in future occasions. I am confident I now have enough information necessary to win this war. It is not going to be easy, yet I trust every one in this room now more than ever.'

'What kind of information, Albus?' a tiny wizard asked curiously.

'All will be revealed at the proper time, Dedalus,' said Dumbledore calmly.

After that, various Order members began recounting to the room at large what had been happening in the wizarding world during the previous days.

Apparently, Muggles all over Britain had been heavily targeted by the Death Eaters. Train derailments, murders and Dementors attacks seemed to have become as weekly events as Quidditch matches. It wasn't hard to notice how scared each one of them were with their and their families' lives at risk every hour of the day.

From Moody's report, the Auror Department had received another blow with the deaths of three of their oldest people only three days before. It had been kept quiet by the Daily Prophet for fear of retribution and no one outside of the Ministry had been informed of these recent murders.

Remus talked about the werewolves with grim words. Almost all of them had now joined the Dark side, apparently.

Again, Dumbledore urged everyone of us to be careful and then adjourned the meeting. Severus and Minerva left quickly after that, returning to the school on the Headmaster's orders.

All the members then approached me and introduced themselves one by one. Benjy Fenwick, a young brown-haired wizard, shook my hand eagerly several times and gratefully thanked me for preventing the attack on him.

Truthfully, I hadn't said anything to Dumbledore except for listing the names of who I'd known was going to die in the First War.

It'd been too late for the Bones and the Prewetts as they were killed in September, yet Dumbledore had managed to protect Dorcas and Benji by misinforming Peter of their locations.

Apparently, the Headmaster had not completely excluded Peter from the Order during October, I gathered, for he knew Voldemort would have surely killed him for losing his cover. However, he couldn't risk anyone else's life and sent Peter on a fake mission that same morning. That was why he hadn't come to the meeting.

After thanking me for the tenth time, Benjy sat beside me and started a conversation on Duelling and Defence. He was bragging a bit about winning a duelling competition two years before trying to impress me.

His clear interest in me, however, was instantly noticed by dear Sirius who, like a dog growling at someone trespassing his territory, was muttering irritated on my other side while tearing a paper tissue apart in little tiny pieces.

'If you're free one of these days,' Benjy asked me then, 'We could go to some Muggle pub, they're safer and quite enjoy-'

'Hi, Jemma! I'm Sirius Black,' Sirius interrupted him loudly grasping my hand and shaking it forcefully.

_Jealous git_, I thought with a smile.

That was probably the same thought that passed through Lily's mind as she caught my eyes. James, instead, let out a muffled chuckle from somewhere on Sirius's right.

'Hi Sirius, it's a pleasure to meet you,' I said politely hiding a smirk. Benjy huffed irritated and glared darkly at Sirius.

'I couldn't fail to notice how beautiful you are, Jemma,' he told me charmingly. If I'd been in a less crowded space I would have burst out laughing at those words for sure. So typically Sirius!

I thanked him politely, instead and noticed Remus Lupin shaking his head from the other side of the table.

'Sirius you're incorregible!' he snorted warily at his friend.

'I advise you not to listen to him, charming women is his favourite hobby!' Benjy put in, sounding rather crossed.

'Shush, you two' Sirius said lightly. 'I was just stating a fact!'

'Well, thank you again, Sirius,' I told him coily, 'Yet my boyfriend wouldn't be too happy to know you're trying to hit on me.'

'Oh, I'm not afraid,' he said amused, tilting his chair. 'Less dashing men can't compete against me!'

'Who said he isn't dashing?' I shot back incredulously. I couldn't deny he was acting his part quite well, or better, he was tricking me into complimenting him, the idiot.

'I doubt him to be as handsome as I am,' he said airily, his grey eyes alight with mischief.

I rolled my eyes in disbelief.

'Has he asked you to marry him yet?' Sirius asked then rather - seriously -, effectively shutting me up for good.

'No, he hasn't,' he replied for me with a sigh. 'Then he must be a hopeless git.'

'Sirius!' Remus exclaimed astounded at his friend apparent lack of tact.

'Well, he has to be,' he went on nonplussed turning to Remus, 'If I were her boyfriend I'd have asked her sooner.'

Remus, the Longbottoms, Emmeline Vance and Benji Fenwick stared at him shocked. That surely wasn't a normal Sirius Black statement, at all.

I looked at him questioningly, instead. What was he trying to say? Was he asking me, in a complicate sort of way, to marry him? I really hoped he wasn't. Not that the idea wasn't appealing, mind you. It was just not the time.

'What's his name?' he questioned me all of a sudden breaking my train of thoughts, a faint smile on his lips.

I realised he'd wanted to tease me or perhaps just confirm to me he really did care a lot.

'What?'

'What's your - boyfriend's - name?'

I looked at him for a second. Was he trying to blow my cover up? The hell, I would've allowed him to.

'Merry White,' I answered then casually flicking the gold bracelet he'd given me.

Sirius stared at me funnily, getting the joke after a few seconds while James had hidden behind his back chuckling hysterically. _Bloody Prongs_.

Remus and the others looked at the three of us oddly for awhile until James's laughter had died down.

The werewolf then caught Lily's amused expression.

'They're taking the mickey out of you,' she said to him silently.

He looked at her confusedly.

'We'll tell you later,' said Lily with a sigh.

* * *

**A/N: I'm extremely sorry for the delay in posting this chapter...I hadn't expected this week to be so busy! Anyway, here is chap16! **

** To all my wonderful reviewers... THANK YOU! **

**JemmadA**


	17. She's Sirius's WHAT?

Disclaimer:**_ I do not own Harry Potter!_**

Chapter 17

**She's Sirius's _WHAT_?**

'I'm glad to have met you, Jemma,' Benjy told me before leaving, 'I'm sorry I tried to ask you out before, I didn't know you were in a relationship.'

'Don't worry, we could always go out as friends, if you like' I said smiling, ignoring Sirius's stares from the sofa where he was playing with a sleepy looking Harry.

'Yeah sure, well, just be careful with Sirius Black, though' he pressed on, having noticed the looks too, 'He seems interested in you a lot and won't give up, even though you're not single.'

'I assure you I can handle him exceptionally well, but thank you for the advise anyway.' I replied, hiding a huge smirk. Poor Benjy.

After that we said goodbye and he quickly left the Headquarters along with Emmeline Vance and Dorcas Meadows.

Later on, when all the Order's members had gone home except for the Longbottoms, Mad-Eye, Remus, the Potters, Sirius and I, Dumbledore informed us he needed to talk about some rather important matters in private.

Lily and I shared a brief look. We knew he was going to explain his plans regarding Voldemort's Horcruxes to all of us.

The Headmaster then gestured Frank, Alice and Moody to follow him inside the adjacent small office and asked the rest of us to wait in the main room. When Frank closed the door behind him, Sirius and I smiled at each other while I sat beside him on the sofa.

'Hey,' he said quietly pulling me closer to him, 'I'm in a very bad need of a kiss, you know.'

'Are you, now?' I questioned hugging him fiercely, my lips catching his passionately. He responded eagerly, hugging me back. It was as if we'd barely said goodbye, as if nothing had changed between us during that long month apart.

We were too engrossed in each other to notice Remus flabbergasted expression from across the room.

'Aren't they cute, eh, Moony?' James commented cheerfully, plumping down on the sofa beside us and ruffling Sirius's hair. Sirius and I broke the kiss slightly embarrassed.

'Jemma's Sirius's girlfriend,' Lily explained holding a sleeping Harry. 'They haven't seen each other for a month.'

Remus kept staring speechlessly at me.

'She's Sirius's WHAT?' he weakly managed to say.

'Girlfriend,' James nodded enthusiastically, 'Believe me, I was rather shocked at first, too. Couldn't wait to see your reaction, either.'

I rolled my eyes at James's antics, while Sirius nudged me to sit on his lap, his right arm encircling my waist.

'Yeah, shocked is the right choice of word,' Remus said quietly, 'Especially when you put "Sirius" and "Girlfriend" in the same sentence.'

'What d'you mean by that?' asked Sirius immediately, tensing up a bit.

Remus raised his eyebrows as if to say '_Isn't it obvious?'_.

I stared at him warily, knowing full well what was going through his mind.

'Er,' he began noticing my annoyed look, 'I didn't mean any - '

'The hell you didn't mean anything,' Sirius growled, 'Why do you always think of me as a wanker, eh?'

'Listen, Sirius. You can't deny you've been a bit - careless - with girls,' Lily said calmly, 'Remus doesn't know who Jemma is…it's natural for him to think like he does!'

'When I don't know what I'm talking about, I tend to shut up!' he exclaimed. Yes, sure.

'Not really,' commented James, who was munching the last biscuit from the tray. At least, James and I thought alike.

'James, what the -'

'Lily's right, Padfoot,' he continued, 'I'd have thought the same as Moony if I hadn't spent two months watching you and Jemma getting closer and closer.'

'Two months? How?' Remus asked stunned. 'Why haven't anyone told me anything? How could this be possible?'

'That, Remus, is all my fault,' said Dumbledore tiredly exiting the study followed by the Longbottoms and Mad-Eye. The latter, I noticed, had his eyes fixed on me interestedly.

'I have explained the current situation to my best Aurors here and now it is your turn, if, as I gather, your friends have kept their little adventure a secret,' the old wizard said. 'James, Lily, Harry and Sirius came back a month ago from a two month stay between the years 2010 and 2011, where on my orders, they met Jemma here and taught her magic. She, on the other hand, told them a story she had read. A story about an orphan boy wizard and his journey to destroy Lord Voldemort.'

'Who's the boy?' Remus asked fearfully, knowing full well about the Prophecy.

'Our Harry,' Lily said in a low voice, 'In the books, tonight would have been the night in which James and I die and Harry survives a Killing Curse that rebounds and makes Voldemort disappear.'

'That's ridiculous,' Remus intervened, his eyes turning accusingly at Sirius, 'How could Voldemort have found you if Sirius was your Secret Keeper?'

'Peter was the Secret Keeper in the books,' I said in a hard tone. I was tired of this. Sirius had always been innocent, yet everyone wanted to see him guilty.

'That's why you all think Peter is the traitor?' Remus asked in disbelief, 'Because of future books that might not be even real?'

'We're alive,' James said seriously, 'And it's five past midnight of November 1st.'

'How can you be so sure the books are real, though?' Alice asked.

'We read them,' Sirius said pointing at himself and the Potters, 'There are details in there too true to be fakes, descriptions too real to be hoaxes. That was what was going to happen if I had gone along with the plan of switching Secret Keepers with Peter. In a matter of hours, I'd have been on my way to Azkaban, accused of murdering Peter, twelve Muggles and worst of all, of betraying my best friend and his family.'

'Why on Earth would you choose Peter?' Remus asked Sirius, 'Why not me?'

'Because I thought you to be the traitor,' Sirius answered sounding ashamed.

'Perfect,' the werewolf commented drily, eyeing him with a disgusted expression, 'I'm the Dark Creature here, right?'

'I'm sorry, Moony,' Sirius apologised.

'Don't _Moony_ me, Sirius Black,' Remus spat, then his eyes turned to James and Lily. 'And you two listened to him, that's really reassuring!'

'We're sorry,' they both said looking stricken.

The haunted look on Remus's face, made extremely clear that the young wizard's deepest wish at the moment was to leave the room as soon as possible. Before he even made a move, though, I stood up from Sirius's lap and asked him to follow me in the other room.

He silently agreed and entered the study without glancing back at his friends. After I closed the door behind us, we sat onto two rather old couches, their rusted springs creaking noisily. We kept quiet for a couple of minutes, both of us trying to come up with something to say.  
I didn't know Remus very well, thus I wasn't sure how to approach him.

'I shouldn't have assumed anything about your relationship with Sirius,' he suddenly said looking straight at me.

'It's ok,' I said surprised, 'I reckon I knew what I was going to put up with when I got together with him.'

'Hope you don't mind me asking but...are you sure his feelings for you are real?' he asked me. Why was he asking me this?

'Yes, I am,' I replied strongly, 'Anyway, I really wanted to talk about more pressing things.'

'More pressing things than Sirius Black in love?' he chuckled darkly.

'That's enough,' I scowled. 'It's tiring to hear the same stuff over and over again. We love each other, that's the only thing you need to keep in mind.'

'I'm sorry,' he said quickly.

'Whatever,' I shrugged. 'The point is I - we - need your help. Sirius was convinced you were the spy and James and Lily went along with his theory. They made a mistake and they know it. I don't want to see the three real Marauders holding grudges, ok?'

He smiled hesitantly.

'Peter convinced you Sirius was the spy, didn't he?' I asked.

'He never openly said it...'

'Yet he implied it,' I concluded for him.

Remus nodded sadly.

'I still can't believe he joined Voldemort,' Remus said shaking his head. 'Sirius would be the most believable one, you know. He's powerful, rash and comes from one of Britain's purest and darkest family...Peter's half-blood, weak and a follower...'

'A follower exactly,' I pointed out. 'Sirius might be a touch insane but he doesn't like being ordered around and his heart is in the right place.'

Remus agreed with my words with a faint chuckle.

'Would you like to hear Harry's story?' I asked him then, knowing he'd calmed down a bit.

It took more than forty minutes to recount a very edited version of the books in which Remus's face had turned darker and darker with every new information. He hadn't interrupted me for so long that my voice was cracking up a bit, my throat dry from all the talking.

We didn't even notice Sirius's head from the half-opened door asking us what was going on. I motioned him to come inside and talk to Remus who seemed deep in thought, his hands hiding his face. I stood up from the couch, gave Sirius a swift kiss and exited the room.

I knew they needed a good long conversation to heal their strained friendship. They badly needed to start trusting each other once again.

Mad-Eye and the Longbottoms had already left, Dumbledore was revising some documents and the three Potters were all asleep on the sofa. The Headmaster lifted his head, appraising me in a new way. I didn't know what he was thinking precisely, yet he smiled at me. I realised he must have appreciated me talking to Remus.

'As I was saying to Sirius minutes ago, I need you to accompany him to Grimmauld Place to retrieve Slytherin's locket tomorrow,' Dumbledore said when I sat down beside him. 'Do you think you are ready for it?'

'I - er - I think so,' I answered uncertainly, taken by surprise from the sudden request. I knew full well that meeting Sirius's mother wasn't going to be a pleasant experience.

'From what I have discovered,' Dumbledore continued, 'Walburga Black has been hiding from the Wizarding community since her husband's and son's deaths two years ago. She hasn't had any contacts with her brother's family, either, which will help you greatly. We certainly don't want Bellatrix Lestrange or Narcissa Malfoy knowing about the locket'.

I nodded seriously.

'I have faith you will use your whole knowledge of what happened to Regulus Black in your favour, Jemma,' he said thoughtfully.

'I'll try my best,' I told him with a sigh. There was no way one could say '_I don't want to do this_' to Albus Dumbledore.

Ten minutes later, Sirius and Remus joined us in the main room, both their faces bearing signs of shed tears.

'We should go now,' Dumbledore said softly while vanishing all the papers scattered across the table and extinguishing the fire. 'Remus could you please take Sirius's place at James and Lily's for the next few days?'

Remus silently agreed.

'And where am I going to stay?' Sirius asked with a hopeful tone.

'You may accompany Jemma back to the castle,' he explained with a knowing smile, 'Love is a strong weapon even in the darkest of times.'

* * *

**A/N : I've been trying to post this chap for the past 3 days but Error Type 2 kept on appearing every time I clicked on "My Stories"...so annoying! Does it happen often?**

**Thank you to Sirius Luffer, sara253xxx, joanvindiesel and Chocolate Fish for reviewing chapter16! **

** JemmadA**


	18. Not Alone

Disclaimer: _**I do not own Harry Potter!**_

Chapter 18

**Not Alone**

'Whoa!' exclaimed Sirius amazedly entering my quarters, 'I wouldn't mind moving in here permanently!' His eyes were travelling excitedly from one corner of the room to the other, inwardly appreciating the fact we'd been left completely alone for the first time in so many weeks.

'I wouldn't mind it, either,' I said while giving him a hug. 'I've missed you so much, Sirius,' I then added, my voice muffled as he'd embraced me back with so much energy that I couldn't breath properly.

'Has Snivelly behaved alright?' he asked me half-laughingly, releasing his grip.

'Stop calling him names!' I humphed, lightly punching his arm, 'He's been ok apart from the usual tirades against "Potter and Black"'.

'Has he been trying to change your opinion of Prongs and me?' he asked annoyed.

'As if,' I said rolling my eyes, 'I like you two too much for that to happen!'

Sirius looked at me amusedly for a moment.

'You like me more than Prongs, though, don't you?' he questioned me with a smile, passing a hand through his hair.

'I'm not going to answer that, _Padfoot_,' I replied sarcastically, placing a kiss on his right cheek. He laughed at that, his grey eyes finding mine.

'So, why did you look so shocked when I hinted about marriage earlier?' he asked casually.

'We've barely known each other for three months, Sirius,' I answered. I thought I'd stated the obvious but...

'So?'

'Be reasonable,' I whined uncomfortably.

'We've been there before,' he chuckled, 'You perfectly know I'll never be that.'

'Yeah, well,' I muttered, 'Let's talk about marriage in a year or two, ok?'

'Fine by me,' he said airily, confirming what I'd already thought. He'd only tried to provoke me at the Order meeting. Not that he hadn't meant what he'd said, just he wasn't ready for marriage, either.

'You still think what you told me in Dumbledore's office, though?' he added after a few moments.

'I definitely do,' I said.

'Me, too,' he told me quietly, 'I love you, Jem.'

'Love you, too, Sirius.'

He slightly lifted my chin and started kissing me more heatedly than ever.

He then unfastened my travelling cloak with a swift motion and began unbuttoning the dark green high-collared robes I was wearing with a kind of eager frenzy and anticipation.

'I prefer Muggle clothes, you know,' he muttered between kisses, 'They're much easier to discard.'

That'd had been my same precise thought.

* * *

The morning autumn sun was colouring the room with faint cool hues, the wind outside still blowing fiercily against the arched window panels. It must have been around nine in the morning as I could smell the breakfast brought by Ember the House-Elf that was waiting for us in the other room.

'I'm not exactly sure Dumbledore has thought this through,' Sirius told me with a yawn while we were still lying in bed, his left arm tenderly encircling my waist.

'About what, the locket?' I asked.

'Yeah,' he mumbled, 'I don't really fancy being killed by my own mother, you know.'

'Don't be so pessimistic,' I said sounding uncertain myself, 'She might scream, shout, yell at you, hex and curse you...but not kill you.'

'Little ray of sunshine as usual, Jem,' he chuckled darkly, 'I'm more worried about you, though.'

'Well, try avoiding telling her I'm Muggleborn and that you want to marry me, please,' I pleaded.

'But I was counting on it!' he exclaimed mischivously, 'Can't wait to see her face when I'll tell her that!'

I groaned. It was definitely going to be a very very bad day.

We unwillingly left the cosy warmth of the bed, had breakfast, a quick shower and dressed ourselves in proper wizarding fashion. Not that Sirius had been happy with the suggestion, but had followed my advise nontheless after a heated argument about the pros and cons of angering Walburga Black even before entering her blasted house.

In the end, after several dark glares from his part, he'd worn an elegant set of midnight blue robes - his best man ones I'd found in his bag - which suited him very well. I, on the other hand, chose a nice burgundy set Ember had bought a week earlier on my request.

Sirius was all for acting like the rebel he'd achieved to become since his Sorting in Gryffindor. I, once again, had to be the level-headed one of the two, aiming to get to the Horcrux as main priority. I understood why Dumbledore had chosen us for this mission, though. Sirius was the only one who could see and find the house being a Black himself and I was the only one capable to restrain him. The fact I also had an inkling of how to approach Mrs Black - and Kreacher for that matter - had made the choice even simpler.

'You look nice in those things,' Sirius muttered in a low voice, eyeing me disgruntled.

'Thanks,' I replied smiling a little while fixing my hair with a quick and very effective charm I'd recently learnt. 'See?' I pointed out, 'Robes are not that bad, after all.'

'I beg to differ,' he mumbled, a sly grin instantly appearing on his face, 'You look good with or without any kind of clothes.'

'Shut up, you silly, it's time to go,' I said jokingly pocketing my wand and taking his hand.

'Let's go, then,' he sighed following me out of the door rather reluctantly.

Being Sunday morning, the castle was still quiet, no students running or shouting in the corridors. Sirius led me to the Entrance Hall through a passageway I'd never used before and when I told him that, he just smirked at me as if to say "I'm a Marauder after all".

The weather outside was even colder than the previous day, the icy wind making us shiver heavily underneath our cloaks. We followed the gravel path to the Gate and then silently proceeded along the road to Hogsmeade, as Sirius had proposed to stop at the Three Broomsticks for a warm butterbeer before apparating to London.

I'd never been to the wizarding village before, thus its stone cottages neatly ordered along the main road instantly caught my attention. It really looked like a fairy tale little town, with its colourful shop windows, tiled rooves and weathered timber signs hanging above each door.

'That's Honeydukes,' Sirius said pointing at the most colourful shop of all, looking like an excited small child, 'They've got the most amazing chocolate there and you really have to try their sugar quills or - or their liquorice wands...'

I smiled at him fondly.

We reached the Three Broomsticks a couple of minutes later and eagerly entered the warm pub which was still almost empty even if it was past ten in the morning already. The curvy barmaid - Madam Rosmerta - lifted her fair head and recognising Sirius, greeted him with a smile from behind the counter.

'Hi Rosy,' said Sirius cheerfully, 'How's business going?'

'Not very good, Sirius,' she sighed, glancing depressedly at the empty tables. 'And you, how's it going? You look very smart, indeed,' she added noticing the robes under the dark long cloak.

'Jemma and I have an important meeting in half hour,' he explained glancing sideways at me.

Rosmerta noticed me then and sent me an inquisitive stare, perhaps wondering if she'd seen me before.

'Oh, what an idiot I am,' Sirius suddenly said, 'Rosy, this is Jemma De Angelis, a friend of mine and Jem, this is Rosmerta, owner of the Three Broomsticks.'

Rosmerta and I laughed at him and we shook hands politely. I was glad he had said "friend" instead of "girlfriend", yet it'd irked me at the same time.

'What would you like to order?' Rosmerta asked us then.

'Can we have a couple of Butterbeers, please, Rosy?' said Sirius with his usual charming attitude.

'Sure,' she said summoning two pewter tankards from the shelves, 'You can sit down, I'll bring them to you in a moment.'

Sirius and I thanked her and approached a solitary table in the corner. We sat quietly facing each other, our eyes communicating nonverbally. I knew he was scared, stopping at the pub had just been an excuse to delay the visit to his mother. His behaviour was terrifying me as well. How bad was Walburga Black going to react towards her own son?

'I'd never asked you this before,' I started tentatively, 'Why - why did you run away from your family?'

Sirius stared at me for a few seconds, his stormy grey eyes looking like they were reminishing something very unpleasant. Before he could answer though, Madam Rosmerta came to us with two tankards full of the frothy golden drink and placed them down on our table.

'Enjoy, dears,' she said warmly before leaving us alone once again.

Sirius lifted his tankard and started sipping the drink slowly, apparently lost in thought. I didn't want to press the topic further so I took a swig of butterbeer instead. I'd tasted the drink a couple of times before, but that particular fresh brew was even better. It seemed to warm me up from inside.

'They wanted me to join Voldemort,' Sirius whispered to me all of a sudden, his lips barely moving.

I stared back at him stunned. I had not exptected this at all.

'At that time, the bastard was seeking young, talented purebloods to join his army of brain-washed idiots - the Death Eaters,' he continued in a low voice, 'I was the first born so my parents thought fitting for me to follow Bellatrix's steps. They would have forgiven me for being a Gryffindor, if I'd joined.'

'That's horrible,' I choked out in disbelief.

'I'd had enough, I packed my school trunk and left without a word, my mother yelling madly trying to curse me from the front door, my father and Reg behind her with identical disgusted expressions on their faces,' he said darkly. 'I'll never forget it,' he added, his voice breaking slightly.

I placed my hand on top of his and squeezed it encouragingly.

'I'm going to be there with you this time,' I told him seriously, 'You won't be alone, I promise.'

'Thank you, Jem,' he replied quietly, sending me a small smile.

'No need to thank me, Sirius,' I said, 'It's what _friends_ are for, right?'

He chuckled at that, immediately understanding my little jibe.

Ten minutes later we said goodbye to Rosmerta and left the pub, slightly more hopeful than we'd been when we entered it. We took one of the secondary roads that led to the surrounding woods and found a quiet spot from where to disapparate unnoticed.

'Take my hand,' Sirius said, 'I'll Side-Along-Apparate you to Grimmauld Place. It's safer as you don't exactly know where it is.'

I obeyed him silently and, after a last glance at the quiet little village, we turned on the spot.

* * *

**A/N : I thought this chap was going to turn out the Grimmauld Place one but...never mind. I was following my notes, then I took the longest route and went for a butterbeer, too. It looks like I'm afraid to meet Mrs Black as much as Sirius does. ;-D  
Nah...I really want to focus on the next one without having other scenes to write in it. Hope you've enjoyed this one, it talks a bit more about Sirius and we see his relationship with Jem growing and improving. **

**A huge thank you to my faithful reviewers Disney-Princess-In-Disguise, bananafreak97, Analie209 (I promise I'll write more about Alice, Frank and Mad-Eye in the next chaps!), chocolate fish, Sirius Luffer, joanvindiesel and ... Tamaa and GinnyWeasley77 who've just joined the club!**

**JemmadA**


	19. Black Insanity

Disclaimer: **_I do not own Harry Potter!_**

Chapter 19

**Black Insanity**

My first impression of gloomy Grimmauld Place hadn't been helped at all by the fine icy rain that had poured on our heads the second we'd apparated in the rather dingy and unkempt little square. The surrounding houses, tall and dark, looked old and uncared for, as if the people living there couldn't give a damn about fixing the broken windows and creaking gates anymore.

Piles of rotting rubbish were scattered in front of several entrances, their acrid smell getting to my nose at once. I was clearly standing in one of the poorest corners of suburban London, making me wonder how the Blacks' ancestral house had happened to be built there. The area must have been a wealthy suburb centuries before, perhaps.

'Home Sweet Home,' mumbled Sirius sarcastically, approaching a spot between number 11 and number 13. I followed him quickly, almost slipping on a puddle of muddy water, and stared in disbelief at the growing house in front of my eyes, number 12.

'How is it that I can see it?' I asked surprised.

'You're with me,' he answered, 'I'm a Black, remember?'

'Yeah, I know,' I said rolling my eyes, 'But isn't the Secret Keeper or something like the sort supposed to tell me about it first?'

'True, my father was the Secret Keeper, but when he died the Secret passed to everyone he had told the exact address to, me included. Therefore, I've just given you the location just by letting you stand on this right spot,' he explained patiently.

'It makes sense,' I replied thoughtfully, eyeing the dark house in front of me with a weird sense of foreboding.

'Come on,' Sirius said taking my hand once again, 'Let's get this done with as soon as possible.'

We went up the mouldy stone steps and stood in front of a solid black door with a revolting snake-shaped handle. Sirius took a deep breath and knocked on the door. His jaw was set into a determined expression, while his eyes seemed to talk about a complete different story. I'd never seen him so scared about anything before.

A couple of minutes later, we heard a croaky voice ask 'Who's there?'

'It's me, Sirius Black,' said Sirius clearly and I instantly caught a loud gasp from behind the door. 'Kreacher, can you please tell my Mother I need to talk to her?'

I was stunned by how he'd phrased his question. He'd tried to sound polite. Reading the books had surely made him realise a couple of very important things, not that he would've ever admitted it to anyone, though.

There had been no answer, yet we'd waited for a couple of minutes nevertheless.

'Mistress doesn't want you to call her "Mother" and asks what you want from her.' Kreacher's voice suddenly spoke once again.

'I need to talk to her about what happened to Regulus,' Sirius said trying to contain his anger, 'Please, it's really important.'

Again, the elf didn't answer, apparently gone to inform Walburga Black before saying anything else. This time, we'd waited for a little bit longer and had almost lost hope of being allowed inside, when several locks clicked and the dark door opened slowly, revealing a rather taller figure than the one you usually associate with House-Elves.

It wasn't Kreacher, in fact.

An old thin woman wrapped in black robes, with yellowing skin and mad grey eyes had come to greet us instead. Even though I knew she couldn't have been that old, Walburga Black looked as if she'd aged a lot more than her 56 years. The same thought seemed to have crossed Sirius's mind whose eyes had opened wide in shock.

Mrs Black first stared at Sirius with an expression of disgust and contempt, then her glare rapidly fell on me.

'Who is she, Blood Traitor?' she spat at her son in a shrill voice.

'Jemma De Angelis, my girlfriend,' Sirius answered cooly, his hands shaking slightly at his mother's words.

'Is she pureblood?' she immediately asked.

'It wouldn't matter even if she were. Jemma's Muggleborn, you see,' Sirius seethed warningly, 'Can we come inside, Mother?'

'It matters indeed! I won't have Mudbloods dirtying the house of my fathers!' she screeched, 'And do not dare calling me Mother ever again! You are no son of mine!'

'It's fine by me,' he pressed on, 'Just let us in, it's important.'

She seemed unsure of what to do.

'You said you have information on my Regulus, is it true?' she then asked sounding oddly caring and heartbroken.

'Yes, we do,' I said firmly, opening my mouth for the first time. Mrs Black eyed me malevolently for a moment then brusquely gestured us inside.

I glanced at Sirius who appeared hesitant to take a step further. I tugged at his sleeve and he nodded at me, taking up the courage to walk inside. Kreacher, the short, old, rugged up elf, who had been standing behind his Mistress unnoticed by us, shut and locked the door behind our backs.

Sirius and I followed Mrs Black along the dark, dusty corridor full of ancient portraits muttering and pointing at us and then into the drawing-room, a large space decadently filled with dark green furniture and regurgitant of silver objects and memorabilias.

Walburga Black sat tiredly on a couch, while we nervously waited for her to say something.

'Sit down!' she ordered angrily pointing at the old sofa in front of her. Sirius seemed on the verge of talking back but thought twice - for once - and pressed his lips together instead. We sat down silently, both unsure of how to act.

'What happened to my son?' Mrs Black asked without further ado.

'Regulus died trying to bring Voldemort d -' I began to say.

'Don't say his name!' she interrupted me madly, pressing her hands against her ears.

'He was trying to bring You-Know-Who down,' I repeated nonplussed.

'Non-sense!' she yelled at me, 'Regulus was a faithful -'

'Reg changed his views without telling you,' Sirius intervened, 'He wanted to keep you safe, protected by those stupid pureblood supremacist ideals you've believed for all your life.'

'How dare you speak to me like that, Blood Traitor?' she snapped, 'How dare you, I am your - '

'Mother?' Sirius laughed darkly, 'I'm no son of yours, remember? I can talk to you as I wish.'

'You have been the greatest disappointment of my life,' Mrs Black said slowly staring at Sirius in the eyes, her voice full of disdain, 'First you got sorted into that blasted House, then you befriended Blood-Traitors, Half-Bloods and Mudbloods, then you ran away and turned against your own family -' she paused, ' - now you come back after years and years and dare jesting me with that attitude of yours, bringing along this - this Mudbl -'

'Don't you dare finish that word, Mother!' Sirius shouted loudly, standing up abruptly, his hand threateningly near his wand.

'Sirius, calm down,' I said forcefully, taking his hand, forcing him to sit down, 'It doesn't matter what she calls me.'

'It matters to me!' Sirius said angrily, throwing a dirty look at his Mother.

'You are the last of the Blacks,' Walburga said dangerously, 'You can't marry filth, the line will be tainted!'

'As if I ever cared,' said Sirius cooly, shrugging his shoulders.

'That abissmal attitude again!' she screamed, 'I know perfectly well you picked it up from that Potter, last of his line as well, marrying a Mud -'

'Shut up about James and Lily!' he retaliated shaking in anger once again, 'I'm not sitting here to hear you insulting me and the people I most care about! Jemma and I need something Regulus stole from Voldemort, that Kreacher has been hiding for the past two years in this house!'

'What are you talking about?' she seemed shocked, 'What does Kreacher have -'

'Kreacher was with Reg the day he died, he was forbidden to tell you and Father anything! You see, this - object - is quite dangerous,' Sirius explained talking fast.

She eyed her son suspiciously, not daring to believe his words.

'KREACHER!' Mrs Black called loudly.

'Yes, Mistress?' the elf said immediately appearing at the door, his bat-like ears lowered in guilt and apprehension.

'Have you been listening?' she asked, 'is it true what they are claiming?'

'Yes, Mistress,' the elf croaked, 'Master Regulus forbid Kreacher to tell...Kreacher is sorry...Kreacher could not say any -'

'Where is this object, Kreacher?' Mrs Black cut across the elf's apologies rather impatiently.

Master Regulus's Locket is safely hidden inside that cabinet.' He said pointing at one of the glass-fronted cabinets standing against the wall on our left. There were many things inside it, one darker than the other, it seemed.

'Bring it to me, Kreacher,' Mrs Black ordered coldly.

The elf obeyed, promptly approaching the cabinet and carefully opening its doors. He rummaged expertly through the first shelf, the lowest of all and took out a heavy golden locket with a sparkling emerald green "S" engraved on it.

I kept my breath when Kreacher gave it to Mrs Black, who seemed deeply shocked.

'Is - is this Salazar Slytherin's famous locket?' she stammered, her eyes round as galleons. I was surprised she'd recognised it so easily, yet I should have been expecting it. She had been a Slytherin herself and highly knowledgeable of the fourth founder's history and beliefs.

'Yes, it is,' I answered slowly, worried of her reaction, 'Regulus stole it from a cave Voldemort had used to keep it safe in and died because of the protections put in place to protect it. Before dying he made Kreacher swore not to tell anyone and to destroy the locket. Unfortunately, it's not so easy to do so, even though Kreacher's been trying for two years.'

Kreacher nodded slowly, eyeing me curiously. He had probably been wondering how I knew so much about the cave.

'Slytherin's locket,' Walburga muttered to herself, 'Why did Regulus want to destroy it? He was so proud of being a Slytherin. He was so proud of being a Black, too. He was not like his disgrace of a brother at all...'

'Regulus was a Slytherin, yes,' I interrupted her, 'Yet I reckon he was far more like Sirius than you'd ever realised.'

Sirius looked at me questioningly while Mrs Black sent me a cold glare.

'Well, he was,' I continued, 'Regulus realised that Voldemort -' Mrs Black hissed once again,'- was a madman and got disenchanted. His heart told him what was the right thing to do even though it would have cost him his own life. Regulus was brave in his own Slytherin way, but brave nontheless.'

'I know as well that Who-That-Cannot-Be-Named is a psycopath, why do you think I have been closeted in here for the past two years?' Walburga shot back at me not understanding my words at all. 'Do you think I am not sorry that my boy died because he joined the Death Eaters?'

'You were the one that drove him to do it!' Sirius shouted in anger, 'You wanted me to join him, as well!'

'I thought the Dark Lord wanted to get rid of Mudbloods for our cause, not for his personal gain!' she replied incensed.

'Because killing Muggleborns isn't wrong, is it?' Sirius spat disbelievingly, a disgusted expression visibly etched on his face.

'We have different views, Blood Traitor,' she said simply, glancing pointedly at me with a superior look.

'Stop calling him that!' I finally snapped angrily. I realised too late that I'd crossed a very thin line. She had drawed her wand out really fast for a woman her age. I'd forgotten she was a Black and a rather dangerous witch at that.

'Don't you dare raise your voice in front of me ever again, Mudblood,' she whispered dangerously, her wand pointed towards me.

'Lower your wand,' Sirius said immediately detecting the danger, 'Give us the locket and you won't have to deal with us anymore.'

She let out a false laugh.

'Why should I give it to you?' she asked mockingly, 'This is worth a fortune. I don't know why my son stole it, but it is not dangerous as you describe it.'

'That's not just a locket,' I said worriedly.

'It is a locket, you filthy Mudblood!' she spat at me in contempt. Sirius was shaking in anger beside me, his hands balled up into fists. He couldn't stand her calling me names. 'You want it all for yourself, don't you?' she added spitefully, 'Is it not enough having the last of the Blacks at your feet?'

'SHUT UP!' I yelled at her, furiously drawing out my wand as well. 'You don't know a single thing about that bloody locket! Regulus died trying to destroy it! There's a war going on outside these four walls and your son and I are putting our lives on the line trying to end it! Don't you ever call me a gold-digger again, understood?'

Walburga Black had stared at me speechlessly for a moment. Then the explosion came.

'GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, YOU LITTLE WENCH!' she screamed at me in outrage, her eyes popping out scaringly. 'You dare walk in here and act as if you own this place already! Did your filthy Muggle parents not teach you respect?'

'I respect whoever respects me,' I said coldy, staring back at her stubbornly. She didn't reply, still visibly furious.

All of a sudden Sirius let out a small chuckle, effectively attracting my attention. 'Is this turning into a typical Mother-In-Law/Daughter-In-Law fight?' he asked me in an undertone.

'This is not the time for jokes, Sirius,' I said to him quite annoyed.

'What are you two whispering about?' Mrs Black asked angrily.

'Nothing important,' Sirius said airily trying to diffuse the tension. 'If I told you that the locket you're holding is Voldemort's Horcrux, what would you do?' he then added more seriously.

I kept my breathing in anticipation. We hadn't talked about revealing what the locket really was.

Walburga Black dropped the locket on the carpeted floor as if she'd been electrocuted. From her face it was clear that she knew exactly what "Horcrux" meant.

'You can't be serious,' she whispered.

I groaned.

One. Two. Three...

'I thought you knew who you've been talking to all this time, Mother,' he said sarcastically, 'I've always been Sirius, haven't I?'

'I had forgotten how to phrase my words in your presence,' she replied snottily, 'It has been six years since your foolish Gryffindor departure, after all.'

Mother and son stared at one another calculatingly.

'You've kept count...' Sirius murmured in a low voice.

'Yes, I have,' she stated coldly, 'I remember very well the day you disgraced this family, Sirius Orion Black.'

'If me choosing the right side meant that to you, I'm proud to be a disgrace,' Sirius shot back with an odd voice. He'd hoped his Mother had actually cared for him very deep down.

'Be proud then and die according to that,' she lightly said, 'If this is truly a Horcrux, you can have it. I don't want the Dark Lord barging inside _my_ house and cut my life short.'

'How can you say that?' I asked her shocked. How could a Mother talk like that to her son? How could a Mother not care for her son at all?

Mrs Black didn't answer, picking the locket up from the floor instead. She seemed lost in thought.

'This is the reason my Regulus died,' she stated hardly after a while. She slowly stood up and approached me sternly. 'Take it,' she said dropping it on my lap, 'And now get out of my house.'

She turned her back on us and exited the room without one more word. I lifted the heavy locket and literally threw it inside my bag not wanting to touch it more than necessary.

'She's gone completely mad,' Sirius sighed while getting up from the sofa, 'Let's go, Jem.'

I looked at him sympathetically. I'd always experienced unconditional love from my parents that it was hard to accept how Sirius had had to grow up.

'Don't look at me like that,' Sirius told me softly, interpreting my face correctly, 'I'm used to this by now.'

'It's not _right_, Sirius,' I said heavily, standing up as well.

'Believe me, I know,' he told me, brushing his lips against mine, 'But I've got you and James, Remus, Lily and Harry, now. My real family.'

I hugged him fiercily then and there in that overstuffed dark drawing-room, so deeply touched by his words that a few tears escaped my eyes and trailed down my cheeks.

'Mistress wants you out of here,' a croaking voice said suddenly. Kreacher had been closely staring at us from the door.

Sirius and I nodded silently and followed the elf to the entrance hall.

He opened the main door and waited for us to step outside before hesitantly saying 'Please, destroy the locket for Kreacher.'

'We will, Kreacher,' Sirius said kindly, 'So that Regulus's death will be avenged, I promise.'

'Thank you, Master Sirius,' Kreacher said bowing his head in respect.

* * *

**A/N: I'm feeling so much better now that this chapter's finally written down and out of my head! **

**A large bag full of thank yous to padfootlover109, joanvindiesel, TheGoldenTrioFan, chocolate fish, Analie209 and Tamaa for brightening up my day with your reviews!**

**JemmadA**


	20. My Fault

Disclaimer: **_I do not own Harry Potter! _**_And I never will... sob sob_

Chapter 20

**My fault**

'I'm very proud of you, Sirius,' I told him while we were retreating from the now shrinking house behind our backs.

'Thanks,' Sirius said with a small smile, gently pulling me closer to him. The rain had stopped, yet the autumn sky was still covered in dark grey clouds moving fast above our heads.

'Do you think she's going to talk to anyone about the Horcrux?' I asked him worriedly, glancing at the empty square in front of us.

'Nah, she won't,' he said, 'She's insane but not stupid. You heard her, she gave it to us because she doesn't want to be accounted for it.'

'Don't - don't you think she was trying to help us, instead?' I wondered out loud.

'I don't know, Jem,' he sighed heavily, yet I thought I saw a flicker of hope crossing his sad handsome face.

Jumping on and off of the narrow footpath to avoid puddles of water, Sirius and I soon reached an abandoned playground not far from Grimmauld Place. A set of rusty swings and an over-used slide were the only playthings still functioning beside several spring-horses that were missing their heads.

Sirius sat heavily on one of the swings, a deep frown visible on his face.

'Are you ok?' I asked concearned, trying to catch his eyes.

'I'm fine, Jem,' he answered with a shrug.

'No, you're not,' I said looking down at him sympathetically, 'Look at me, please.'

He slightly lifted his head and met my eyes.

'I'm not going to make the same mistakes book-me did,' he said in a heavy voice, 'All the people I cared about suffered because of what I did.'

'How have you worked this out?' I asked him shocked, 'You were innocent, Sirius!'

'I told James and Lily to switch Secret Keeper and they died while Remus and Harry were left alone. Then I came back and got killed and they suffered even more just because I behaved badly toward an old grumpy House-Elf.'

'That's ridiculous, anyone could have made those same mistakes,' I scoffed, 'But we've changed that, haven't we? It's not going to happen anymore!'

'Voldemort isn't going to stop looking for Harry, Jem!' he reminded me strongly, 'And if anything happens to him or - or - you, I - I...'

'We are going to win,' I told him forcefully, 'We have to.'

He pulled me on his lap and held me tight as if just by keeping me closer he could protect me from what was going to come. Seeing his Mother again had left him shattered, her insults and her contempt had reopened old wounds he'd thought healed. He'd been strong, more strong than I had, he hadn't yelled as much as I had, he hadn't lost control as much as I had.

We'd managed to get the Horcrux, now safe inside my bag, because of his strength. His bravery.

He had faced the thing he feared the most above all. The thought of being unloved.

I gently ruffled his long hair and placed a kiss on his forehead.

'We need to go, Sirius,' I told him quietly when a couple of old Muggles passing by had started to look at us suspiciously, muttering about youth and appalling fashion trends.

'Yeah, you're right,' he said slowly, 'Dumbledore must be waiting for us.'

* * *

We apparated in front of the school gates seconds later, this time not even bothering to pass through Hogsmeade. It was around midday and the weather hadn't improved much by the look of it, yet a pale sun was faintly showing its face between heavy clouds.

This time, we didn't wait for someone to open the gates as Dumbledore had taught me the Charm the day before. Going up along the path, we encountered several groups of students enjoying their Sunday outside in the school grounds, all of them greeting me politely while wondering Sirius's identity at the same time.

Older students seemed to recognise him, though and a couple of seventh year girls looked at him with adoring eyes and annoying giggly smiles.

'That's Sirius Black!' we heard one of the two say to her friend, 'Don't you remember him? He was a seventh year when we were in our second. Isn't he handsome?'

'Handsome? He's gorgeous!' the other giggled, 'What is he doing with Miss De Angelis? Do you think they're a couple?'

'Nah, can't be!' the first replied back frowning, 'He'd always been a playboy at school.'

The funniest thing was that they hadn't even tried to lower their voices for us not to overhear them. Funny to me, at least. Sirius had glared at them so intensely that the two friends had scarpered from our view in a matter of a few seconds, leaving me chuckling amusedly at their expense.

'It's not funny,' Sirius muttered while entering the Entrance Hall.

'They complimented you...' I said.

'And called me a playboy,' he scowled at me.

'Oh well you can't -'

'Black!' an angry voice said loudly from somewhere on our right, 'What are you doing here?'

Sirius let out a groan that sounded like "_not him, too_!"

It was Severus.

He seemed oddly flustered, his eyes rapidly falling on mine and Sirius's entwined hands. Sirius stared back at him coldly and didn't answer.

'What is he doing here with you, Jemma?' Severus asked me in a slight more polite tone.

'Sirius's staying here at the castle, Severus.' I explained vaguely, not willing to say anything closer to the truth.

I'd never told Severus of my relationship with Sirius and I didn't want him to find out about it in this way. I knew he wouldn't have taken it well.

'He's not allowed here!' he snarled.

'Yes, I am,' Sirius replied cooly, 'The Headmaster allowed me to spend a few _comfortable_ days here at Hogwarts... with Jemma.'

He had purposely emphasised the word "comfortable" while gently letting go of my hand to encircle my waist with his arm.

'Have you lost your mind?' Severus seethed looking at me in disbelief, 'After all the things I have been telling you about him?'

'Severus – I -'

'Where is he staying?' he asked interrupting me.

'That's not -'

'Have you been sleeping with him?' he questioned me then, shocked and angry.

I stared at him shamefacedly.

'What is it to you?' Sirius replied spitefully, glaring daggers at the Potions professor.

'I am not talking to you, Black!' Severus whispered dangerously, drawing out his wand, 'Jemma is my responsibility inside this castle and I will not allow a bastard like yourself to harm her in any way!'

'Severus, please,' I said weakly, 'Sirius and I have been keeping our relationship a secret from everyone on Dumbledore's suggestion. I wanted to tell you about this when the time was right!'

He looked at me speechlessly, his lips curling in disgust.

'I thought you were different, De Angelis. I was wrong, apparently,' he sneered at me. '9 o'clock. Potions classroom.' he added turning his back on us and disappearing behind the corner.

'This day is turning out better and better,' I sighed, leaning my back on the cold stone wall, looking stricken.

'Tell me about it,' Sirius said sarcastically, 'My Mother and Snivellus on the same day...I wouldn't recommend it to anyone!'

I looked at him warily. Couldn't he see that Snape had been a sort of friend to me for the previous month?

'We'd better go and see the Headmaster,' I said curtly, not keen on starting an argument at all.

* * *

Dumbledore had been quite pleased with the outcome of our little adventure in the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black and hadn't seemed worried of our long and dejected faces.

He'd examined the Horcrux for awhile, his piercing blue eyes silently taking in the locket's every detail.

'Have you already thought of a way to destroy it, sir?' Sirius asked after a minute or two, breaking the heavy silence that had set in the room.

'I may have a couple of ideas, yes,' the Headmaster answered slowly lifting his head to meet Sirius's eyes, 'Yet I am not sure which one to choose.'

'Gryffindor's sword won't work, right?' he asked.

'It hasn't stabbed a Basilisk, yet,' Dumbledore replied with a smile.

'What about Fyendfire?' I questioned him.

'It is one of my ideas, indeed,' he answered me gravely, 'Using the so called Room of Requirement would be certainly effective as well. Although, I might say, it would be far more prudent to collect all five Horcruxes first.'

'Why?' Sirius asked bewildered, 'Isn't it better to destroy them as soon as possible?'

'I am not so sure about that, Sirius,' Dumbledore replied enigmatically, turning even more thoughtful.

* * *

The rest of the day passed rather slowly with me reviewing notes and Sirius sitting bored on the sofa, lost in his own thoughts.

Dinner was brought by Ember at 7 o'clock sharp as Dumbledore had deemed necessary to avoid the new Black-De Angelis gossip spreading too much. Not that it was going to help a lot, anyway. Gossip seemed to be the only thing the students were eager to learn and spread at once, far more than spells and charms.

Sirius had enthusiastically scarfed down his steak and roasted potatoes in less than five minutes and had been on the verge to call Ember to get some more.

'I love Hogwarts House Elves!' he told me with a grin, 'They cook the best food in the world!'

I raised my eyebrows slightly irritated.

'Second best, sorry,' he added quickly looking back at me with a cheeky smile, 'Your food is amazingly better...a part from steaks, though. You're aweful at cooking meat, you know?'

'How charming you are,' I replied back scornfully, 'I don't like it overcooked, by the way.'

'I'm British,' he said as if it explained everything.

'No, you're a prat,' I shot back suppressing a smile, 'With a horrible taste in food.'

'Whatever you say, my darling,' he said airily. 'By the way, what time is your lesson with greasy old Snivellus?' he added, his eyes darkening slightly.

'At nine,' I told him, 'And stop calling him that.'

'What's wrong with "Snivellus"?'

'It's a stupid dumb nickname, Sirius!' I almost shouted. 'Why can't you behave your age for once, eh? He's on our side, now!'

'That doesn't stop him from being a snivelling idiot,' Sirius muttered in a low voice.

'And you a pathetic bully,' I shot back angrily. 'Didn't you say you wanted to avoid making the same mistakes as in the books, uh?'

'I – yes – I said that,' he said not meeting my eyes.

'Well, you'd better stick to that, then,' I told him annoyed while piling the empty dishes on the tray in front of me. 'Severus isn't the most cheerful person to have around but has being good toward me and has been teaching me loads of important stuff.'

Sirius frowned at me but didn't say anything. He didn't seem to like my words at all. We didn't talk much after that and soon I had to leave the cosy warm room for the damp cold dungeons.

'I'm coming with you,' Sirius suddenly said when he saw me getting ready to leave.

'No, you're not,' I shot back immediately, inwardly imagining Severus's expression at having Sirius in the same room while teaching me.

'Why?' he asked me puzzled.

'Because you can't control your -'

'Oh, come on, don't say "temper"! Who shouted at my Mother this morning?' he exclaimed diverted.

'I did, but that's a completely different thing...' I said stubbornly.

'How come?'

'Why are we arguing about this?' I asked him warily. 'We've been arguing since we got back and I'm tired of it. Stay here and let me go to class, please.'

'I'm coming with you,' he told me for the second time.

'Please, Sirius...'

'I'm not staying here,' he said firmly, 'I don't trust Snape.'

'You're not coming.'

'Yes, I am.'

We'd stared at each other for several moments when I sighed in defeat.

'Please, behave,' I said simply before opening the door. He followed me silently, a winning smile plastered all over his face, and casually placed his right arm across my shoulders. I didn't shrugged it off even though, worried and annoyed as I was, I would have really liked to.

As I'd predicted, Severus sent me an icy cold glare as soon as he saw Sirius entering the classroom after me.

'Go away, Black,' he said to him dangerously, 'Why are you here, eh? Weren't you supposed to be at the Potters, protecting them?'

'Remus is with them,' Sirius answered irritated.

'Ah, the werewolf...' Severus sneered in disgust.

'Since when do you care for James's safety, anyway?' asked Sirius sarcastically, knowing full well who Snape really cared about.

'I do not give a damn about Potter and his brat, Black!' Severus shot back positively furious.

'Harry isn't a brat, Severus,' I scolded him not too harshly, trying to make him see reason.

'He looks like Potter, doesn't he?' he asked me crossly in a low voice.

'He's got Lily's eyes, though,' I said calmly before Sirius could reach his wand and curse Snape. 'And if you really care about her, you should not call her son a brat. Lily wouldn't be pleased of hearing you say that,' I added.

Sirius chuckled silently at my words.

'If you want your lesson,' Severus said after a while looking quite disgruntled, 'You'd better tell him to stay quiet and act as if he doesn't exist.' His words had been so eerily similar to the ones of a certain Vernon Dursley in the first chapter of the Chamber of Secrets, that I instantly shivered in premonition. Nothing good was going to come out of this class, I feared.

'Please, Padfoot,' I told Sirius silently pointing at a group of chairs on my left, 'Go sit there like a good boy.'

He grinned at me and did as it'd been told, faking a dog bark.

Severus brusquely started our lesson asking me to repeat all the things I'd learnt the week before, which I did rather nervously. He commented and criticised the majority of my answers, something that he hadn't done in weeks. My English wasn't perfect, yet I'd always tried to convey the information as best as I could.

With the corner of my eye I could see Sirius muttering under his breath and silently commenting every word Severus spoke.

'It is time you learnt the Flagellum Curse,' Severus told me suddenly.

'What?' Sirius asked angrily from the corner.

'What is it?' I asked him warily. What was he playing at? From Sirius's reaction it must have been something either very bad or very dark. Or both, most likely.

'The Lashing Curse,' he answered curtly avoiding Sirius's angry stare, 'Death Eaters use it and I think it is necessary for you to know how to cast it and fight it, if you can.'

I weakly nodded, preparing myself for another hard and demanding lesson.

'Wait a moment,' Sirius said angrily looking alarmed, 'What has Snape been teaching you precisely? Has he been teaching you the Dark Arts, Jem?'

'I'm not learning the Dark Arts, Sirius,' I said slowly, knowing full well that he wasn't going to take this lightly. 'Dumbledore wants me to know what I'm up against,' I explained to him calmly. 'Not that I like it but it's necessary.'

'I don't like it either,' he muttered darkly, avoiding my gaze. I was nervous. I knew Sirius wouldn't have accepted it, he hated the Dark Arts so much for that to happen.

* * *

Sirius had hardly spoken a single word to me all the way up to my quarters after Severus's lesson, his eyes looking dark and dangerous.

'I didn't know that was what you were doing with Snape,' he finally said coldly when we reached the privacy of my room.

'It's not a big deal, Sirius!' I exclaimed worriedly.

'Oh, that's what you think, don't you?' he responded angrily snatching my arm. 'Are you going to become the next Dark Lady or something like the sort?'

'That's absurd!' I mumbled, horrified of his reaction. I'd never seen him so angry in all the time we'd known each other.

'It's not, Jemma! You're too powerful for your own sake...the Dark Arts change people, they mess with their brains!' he said to me, his voice raising higher and higher.

'And do you think I'm not wise enough to know what's right and what's wrong?' I yelled back, my temper exploding. Why couldn't he trust me?

He glared at me not knowing what to say next.

'So, you're not going to stop this, aren't you?' he finally asked, his hands shaking.

'No, I'm not,' I replied stubbornly, my wrist starting to ache from his firm grip.

He looked at me hardly.

'I need air,' he scowled letting me go of me and turning towards the door.

'Oh, good! Run away!' I shouted unthinkingly, 'That's pretty much the only thing you can do!'

He froze at my harsh words, his right hand on the door handle.

'How can you say something like this after what I told you this morning?' he whispered iratedly, turning slowly to face me once again. I genuinely hated myself at that moment, yet pride and anger stopped me from apologising.

'I have responsibilities you don't want to accept,' I said clearly, stepping closer to him trying to appear all proud and mighty.

SMACK!

He slapped me, his hand falling hard on my left cheek. I stared at him in disbelief. How...

'Get out,' I whispered dangerously drawing out my wand. His hand was still in mid-air, his face deeply affected from what he'd just done.

'I'm sor - '

'GET OUT!' I yelled, my cheek now starting to hurt badly. He didn't move an inch but tried to get hold of my hands pleadingly.

'Jem, please - '

'DON'T TOUCH ME!' I snapped at him and with a furious slash of my wand I slammed the door open and threw him out of my quarters, my chest heaving heavily. Sirius had looked outragedly at me for a moment then, without a word, transformed into Padfoot and stormed off along the dimly-lit corridor disappearing from view.

I'd stood motionless at the door for I don't know how long, fat warm tears streaking down my face one after the other. I couldn't yet fully comprehend what had just happened.

"All my fault," I kept on repeating in a sort of trance-like state, reviewing the argument inside my head over and over again.

All my fault.

* * *

**A/N: This chap has been a hard one from the start and I'm not really happy with it at all. I've been writing pieces of it all week and this is the result of it...anyway, hope you've enjoyed it and let me know what you think, please!**

**Thank you _Tamaa, Disney-Princess-In-Disguise, joanvindiesel, Analie209, padfootlover109_ and c_hocolate fish_ for reviewing my last chapter!**

**JemmadA**


	21. Interlude

Disclaimer: _**I do not own Harry Potter!**_

Chapter 21

**Interlude**

Sirius, what are you doing here?" exclaimed a worried James at his best friend standing windswept and haggard at the door.

"I live here, don't I?' said Sirius curtly, storming inside the house looking like an electrically charged dark cloud. Lily, who was standing behind her husband, lowered her wand in relief.

"Hi Sirius,' said Lily apprehensively following him into the living-room, "We thought you were going to stay with Jemma for the next couple of days. I - I thought..."

"Change of plans," Sirius muttered, "And as far as I know, Voldemort doesn't knock".

A tired looking Remus, who was sitting on the sofa wrapped in a blanket, glanced at him curiously. "Is everything ok?" he asked, "Did you get the Horcrux alright?"

Sirius nodded grudgingly and, without paying attention at his friends triumphant looks, he crossed the room and disappeared inside the kitchen.

James and Remus shared a questioning glance as they listened to their friend opening several cabinets so roughly and noisily that Lily, huffing annoyed, had to cast an Imperturbable Charm around Harry's cot. Luckily the baby was still sound asleep, his little hand firmly gripping a plush brown stag.

When Sirius finally re-entered the warm fire-lit living-room with a full bottle of Firewhisky in his hand, everyone held their breath in anticipation.

The tall wizard sat down beside James without uttering a single word, clearly not interested in making any sort of conversation. He uncorked the bottle, instead and took a large gulp of the liquor.

"What's wrong, Sirius?" asked Lily warily, eyeing the amber bottle in disapproval.

"Nothing," said Sirius sounding disgruntled.

"Usually, when nothing's wrong, you don't get drunk on purpose,' Remus said calmly, rolling his eyes.

"What do you know, Lupin?" Sirius grunted, taking another swig.

"Have you just had a row with Jemma?" asked Lily tentatively.

Sirius didn't answer.

"What have you done to make her so angry to throw you out?" questioned James half-smiling.

"I got angry with her," he mumbled.

"I really doubt it," James commented with a chuckle, "You worship the ground she walks on."

Sirius brusquely put the bottle down on the coffee table in front of him, looking sour.

"Snape's teaching her the Dark Arts," he explained angrily.

"Can't be..." James and Remus murmured appalled.

Lily didn't say anything, yet her green eyes narrowed slightly.

"Yes, he is," he confirmed, "And she's ok with it."

"Severus reports to Dumbledore, Sirius," Lily voiced calmly, "I highly doubt he's been teaching stuff to Jemma without Albus's consent."

"Dumbledore would never agree to that," stated James immediately.

"But he might want to prepare her," Remus thought aloud, "Or test her."

James and Sirius looked at their friend frowning.

"Remus may be right," Lily nodded, "Dumbledore probably wants her to be ready to face what there's outside. She doesn't have any clue of what the war's like, we all know that. I doubt Jemma's enjoying that, anyway."

"What do _you_ know?" Sirius asked her brusquely.

"What do _I_ know?" Lily replied incensed staring at him in disbelief, "Jemma's _your_ girlfriend, Sirius. If _you_ don't trust her on this, how could you possibly say _you_ love her?"

"Bollocks!" he growled angrily staring at the floor.

"Apologise to Lily!" James exclaimed annoyed whacking his best friend on his head.

"Fuck off all of you," said Sirius violently standing up from the sofa. He then took the bottle of firewhisky from the table and stomped off up the stairs swearing profusedly.

James seemed on the verge to follow him and hex him, yet Lily stopped him by grabbing his arm.

"Leave it," she sighed, "He still needs to learn what a real relationship is like."

"What do you mean?" James asked, calming down a bit.

"He needs to start trusting her more," Lily explained, "The problem is he's so used to see things in black and white that he forgets to distinguish the greys."

"Uh?"

"Lily's right, James," voiced Remus warily, "I reckon Jemma is "learning" the Dark Arts to defend herself from them, not to practice them. It requires a lot of strength to know something but not to use it." He scratched his neck lightly before adding with a half smile, "It's a little bit like being a werewolf and trying to be good."

Lily smiled warmly at him nodding approvingly.

"I get it," James humphed, "But why does Dumbledore want to test her?"

"Because I reckon he sees a little bit of himself in her," Lily answered thoughtfully. "Jemma's very talented, you know that."

They fell quiet for a while, listening half-concerned to the muffled noises coming from the upper floor. It sounded like Sirius had been punching the wall.

"What do you think happened, really?" Remus asked James and Lily.

"He probably yelled at her, she got angry at him and hexed the daylights out of him," James said, "She may look calm and composed most of the time but if angered...she can be even worse than Lily here."

Lily pinched her husband's arm in retaliation.

"Well, you can't deny she's a hot-head," mumbled James rubbing his arm.

"Jemma's a good person," Lily replied stubbornly, "I'm pretty sure your dear friend said or did something very bad to make her loose control."

"I agree with you, there," James said with a sigh. "What do you think Remus?"

"I don't know," he said thoughtfully, "You two know her better than I do. It wouldn't be fair saying anything against one or the other."

"True," Lily said, "We'll have to wait for Sirius to calm down and explain to us what really happened between them, then."

All of a sudden, a loud crash from upstairs attracted their attention. Lily looked alarmed while James and Remus rolled their eyes.

"Typical Sirius," said James in an undertone.

"Should we check on him?" Lily asked worried.

"Nah," Remus sighed, "He's probably drunk by now, we'd better wait for him to sober up a bit."

"Don't you think we'd better help him?" asked Lily in disbelief.

"Help him?" James snorted, "I don't really fancy being thrown things at, to tell you the truth."

"Does he turn_ that_ violent when drunk?"

"That's an understatement," muttered Remus.

"Has this happened before?" Lily questioned, her mind wondering to a certain scene in a book she'd recently read. The image of a mad looking Sirius, laughing his head off while being carted off to Azkaban. He might not have been drunk there, yet something really bad had happened.

"After the "Snape Accident" in fifth year and after confronting Regulus when he joined the Death Eaters." James explained.

"So when he did something very bad or something really bad happened." Lily commented, voicing her previous thoughts.

"Precisely," James and Remus said nodding.

"Do – do you think they broke up?" Lily asked.

"Maybe," James sighed.

"But they're so right for each other," Lily whined shaking her head sadly.

"Both of them know it, Lily," James said, "They'll figure things -"

He stopped abruptly at the sound of heavy footsteps coming down the stairs. The Potters and Remus looked up apprehensively and their eyes fell on a mad dishevelled Sirius.

"Talking about me, eh?" he asked in an odd high-pitched voice so unlike his. "You can keep going," he pressed on, "I know you've been gossiping like old women!"

"Sirius..." Lily mumbled concerned.

"What Lily?" he said loudly, "Do you want to know what I've done? Do you want to know what I've fucked up this time?"

"STOP SWEARING, YOU IDIOT!" James yelled irritated, standing up from the sofa. He walked to Sirius, grabbed his arm and forcefully lead him outside in the hallway. "Stop behaving like a child," James seethed in a very low voice, "You're drunk and not thinking straight, so I'm going to let this go for now. But don't you dare ever again talk like that to my wife. Harry's sleeping, for Merlin's sake! What's wrong with you? It's time you grew up and began acting like an adult!"

Sirius looked back at him mutinously.

"It doesn't work that way, Black, I'm sorry," said James warily.

"Don't call me Black," Sirius mumbled.

"How am I supposed to call you?" James asked, a faint smile tugging at his lips. "_Merry White_, perhaps?"

"How funny."

"Merlin's pants, Padfoot, what the hell happened? Did you break up with Jemma?" asked James concerned.

"I don't know," he whispered, pain etched all over his face.

"What happen -"

"I hit her!" he suddenly shouted at him, "I slapped her! That's what happened! Are you happy now?"

He closed his eyes and sagged against the wall tiredly, hiding his face behind his hands. James stared at him speechlessly, not sure of what to say. He knew Sirius could turn somewhat violent yet he hadn't expected this at all. Sirius loved Jemma.

"I don't deserve her," Sirius chocked out in a whisper, letting out a sob. "I'm just a Black, after all."

* * *

**A/N : I can't believe it's taken me so long to post this chapter...I'm so sorry, guys! I had this done a week ago but I wasn't sure if it fitted the story, so I started writing another one and that didn't seem right, either. Plus, I've been fixing and adding stuff to the overall story which I reckon it's going to make the next chapters more interesting and I'm also working on a series of oneshots from Sirius's P.O.V. (I'm telling this to show you I haven't been procrastinating for the past 2 weeks :-D)**

**Huge thank yous to chocolate fish, analie209, joanvindiesel, Sirius Luffer, Sara253xxx, Johnnie W, Disney-Princess-In-Disguise and LivieLi for reviewing the last infamous chapter. I know many of you didn't like Sirius's reaction and thought that it was completely wrong but...you'll see. **

**JemmadA**


	22. A Nightmare and a Task

Disclaimer: **_I do not own Harry Potter!_**

Chapter 22

**A Nightmare and a Task**

_"Run!"_

_"It's coming! Run!"_

_"It's going to get us!"_

_I was surrounded by scorching fire and grey faceless figure kept screaming and shouting at me to run. They were running from something and I was following them blindly, their fear spreading inside of me, paralysing my legs, my arms, my voice._

_I couldn't shout. I couldn't escape from the thing that was so closely chasing us._

_I scraped the soil with my hands, bloodied and dirty, making an effort to crawl, to move. The screaming people had left, I was alone in the middle of the raging flames. _

_Something was coming. I could feel it, I could sense his clutches closing down on me..._

I woke up breathless, my heart still pounding madly.

It'd been a nightmare. Just a silly, terrifying nightmare.

My watch, laying on its side on the bedside table, read 5:50 a.m. It was early morning, yet I couldn't go back to sleep. Images from the previous night began to resurface, deviously mixing themselves with the fresh ones from the dream.

I felt horrible.

Half hoping that my fight with Sirius had just been a nightmare, too, I closed my eyes once again, rolled on my other side and moved a hand across the bed, wishing to feel his sleeping body laying beside mine.

He wasn't there.

The fight had been real.

I sighed deeply and slowly opened my eyes, not wanting to accept the reality of what had happened the night before. I knew it had been partly my fault, I'd taunted him and said horrible things to him, yet I couldn't get over that fact he'd actually slapped me.

He'd had no right to behave that way.

"_As you had no right to use magic against him," _I thought guiltily.

It seemed unreal we'd been blissfully happy and content of being together again not even a day before.

I got up feeling thoroughly depressed and almost tripped in the dark trying to reach the bathroom door. Swearing and huffing I switched the oil lamp on, mentally cursing the lack of electricity inside the castle. My eyes instantly focused on the leather jacket Sirius had left hanging outside the wardrobe. I took a few hesitant steps and ran a hand over its smooth soft material, breathing in the faint musky scent that still lingered on it. It spoke so much of him that I felt like curling into a ball and cry.  
I had to talk to him. I needed to.

"Damn!" I swore kicking a nearby chair angrily.

What was I supposed to do now? I couldn't ask anyone for advise, I couldn't send letters because security was tight nor leave the castle alone for the same reason.

"_Let him apologise first,_" said a proud little voice inside my head.

I was aware it wasn't the perfect way to face the situation at all, yet he had accused me of turning dark and then slapped me. Didn't he know me at all? Had I ever expressed any interest in the Dark Arts? I'd left my time and my life to embark into this journey to help them defeat the Darkest Wizard ever born and he couldn't still trust me.  
I'd really thought our relationship to be great, not perfect, mind you, but…real. It'd always felt right being around him, loving him even more so, yet that fight had turned everything upside down. A whole month apart had created a rift between us, it appeared. Fears and problems had taken their toll in the end, yet I couldn't stand the idea we were already done.

I couldn't accepted it.

I loved him too much for that to happen.

I sat on the bed tiredly, wondering what to do when all of a sudden I heard impatient knocks coming from the main door.

Who could have been asking for me at that early hour?

Had Sirius come back after all?

My heart began hammering fast in anticipation while I rushed to the door still in my pink and grey pyjamas. I opened the door expectantly, my lips already curved into an involuntary smile. When I saw Minerva McGonagall standing in front of me, though, a huge wave of disappointment crashed over me.

_He hadn't come back._

"Good morning, Jemma," Minerva said tiredly sporting dark bags under her eyes. She was in her travelling cloak and it was clear she'd been up all night, on an Order mission most likely.

"Good morning, Minerva," I said politely placing a fake smile on my face, "What can I do for you at this hour?"

"Albus needs you to be ready by seven, Alice Longbottom isn't feeling very well and can't help Frank with his undercover mission at the Ministry. We're short of people at the moment with the Potters and their friends in hiding…" she explained hurriedly entering the room.

"Yes, I understand," I replied quickly and slightly alarmed, "What - what am I going to help Frank with?"

She closed the door behind herself and looked at me gently. "Minister guard, Jemma. If you're not ready - "

"Yes, I am!" I exclaimed before she could finish her sentence. "I'm a member of the Order, right?" I added strongly.

"I know you are," she pressed on, "Yet there are dangers involved I fear you still can't wholly realise! From what Albus let slip you thought yourself a Muggle until a few months ago, you can't be possibly ready for this!"

"If the Headmaster thinks I'm ready then I am!" I replied scorned.

"Albus is testing you, Jemma," she said calmly, "I perfectly know what kind of magic Severus is showing you and I can't say I like it!"

"Not you, too!" I sighed dejectedly, "I don't want to use the Dark Arts, I'm not interested in following Voldemort and I'm not going to turn Dark!"

"I've never hinted at anything of the sort!" she said crossly, staring at me in disbelief, "Who accused you of this?"

"It doesn't matter," I muttered darkly.

She considered my words for a moment then took a deep breath.

"I wanted to ask you another thing as well," she continued, "There have been rumours circulating among the students since yesterday evening of a quarrel starring you, Severus and Sirius Black."

I nodded slowly, not liking where the discussion was going to at all.

"In addition to that, they stated you were seen leaving the castle with Mr Black in the morning and coming back with him around midday."

"Dumbledore knows about it," I explained vaguely.

"I don't doubt it, Jemma," she said impatiently, "Yet the students believe you got into a lover's fight with their Potions professor because something may be going on between you and Sirius Black."

"They said what?" I spluttered in shock, "Lover's fight? Severus and I are not in any kind of relationship! I can barely say we're friends!"

"What about Sirius Black, then?" she asked me.

"We - I don't know where we stand at the moment,' I told her trying to keep a steady voice.

"Oh, Jemma," she said shaking her head, "Mr Black is a very handsome young man but I advise you to thread carefully with him. He is known to be -"

"I don't care what everyone thinks he is!" I snapped at her. It felt odd voicing those words out loud when I was still so angry with him.

"How could you know about him more than I do? I'd been his teacher for seven years! You have merely known him for a day! Be reasonable, Jemma!" she said in disapproval.

I'd entirely forgotten she didn't know the whole truth still. It was time for some explanations.

"You're wrong," I said with a wry smile, "I met Sirius three months ago and we've been a couple for more than two months. He and the Potters were the ones who came looking for me."

She looked at me oddly, not quite believing my words.

"I swear to you it's the truth," I added.

"Why haven't you told me this before?" she asked stunned after a few moments.

"Dumbledore's orders," I answered with a sigh.

She nodded in understanding. Albus Dumbledore's requests were orders, after all. Remus had reacted with the same quiet acceptance at the Order's meeting two nights previously.

"Why did you say you don't know where you stand with him, then?", she asked curiously.

"We had a fight last night," I confessed, "He wasn't happy about what Severus's been teaching me."

"It doesn't surprise me," she murmured, "Sirius Black and James Potter are adamantly against the Dark - "

"I'm not learning the Dark Arts, Minerva!" I blurted out offended, "I'm learning how to defend myself against them!"

"Severus is showing them to you, though!" she replied back fiercely. "What could stop you from using them when you perfectly know how to work them?"

"This, Minerva," I said simply tapping a finger on my forehead.

She smiled at me then and placed a hand on my shoulder. "I haven't still figured out if you're more of a Ravenclaw or a Gryffindor, Jemma," she told me seriously. "Either way, you need to be careful. There's too much at stake in this war."

"I know that," I sighed gloomily, thinking with a kind of desperate longing of Sirius and all of the people I couldn't bare to lose.

* * *

**A/N: Another short chapter... I really wanted to have more interesting stuff happening but I couldn't find the time to write. Things are going to be quite hectic until the 20th May unfortunately but I'll try to update weekly. And as today's my birthday, reviews are even more accepted! :-) **

_**Thank you Analie209, fruityloops156, Sirius Luffer, chocolate fish, littledhampir13, Disney-Princess-In-Disguis, ShipsThatFly, joanvindiesel and Sara253xxx for reviewing the last chapter. I'm glad you all liked it!**_

_**JemmadA**_


	23. Reality

Disclaimer: **_I do not own Harry Potter!_**

Chapter 23

**Reality**

It was drizzling outside when I left the castle an hour later, tightly wrapped in a thick dark cloak, my wand safely stored in one of its deep large pockets.

Frank Longbottom was meant to meet me at the gates, hence I walked down the path once again, this time all alone. I couldn't grasp what I was going to face this time. The fairy-tale ideas of a perfect magical world were still too deep rooted inside my brain to understand the whole situation in all its gravity.

I was going to guard the Minister in incognito with a man I barely knew. I had met him at the Order meeting two days previously, yet I hadn't paid that much attention to him as I should have had as Sirius had been the only person in my mind that particular night.

My "unobservantness", or whatever you want to call it, had always come at a great cost and in this case, I was sure that being unobservant would have turned out to be a great problem.

I greeted Hagrid good morning when I passed in front of his cabin. He waved his hand jovially in return, then resumed cutting a rather huge pile of thick fire-wood. Hagrid and I hadn't talked much to each other yet, as I'd been inside the castle most of the time. Although it seemed to me he thought me to be trustworthy enough for Dumbledore to let me join the Order. And I was grateful for that.

I arrived at the gates a few minutes later, panting slightly. No one seemed to be waiting for me outside.

Was I too early?

I opened the tall iron cast door and stepped worryingly outside the school boundaries.

"Good morning, Miss De Angelis!" a male voice suddenly greeted me.

I gasped in surprise and turned my head right and left frantically, trying to pinpoint the spot where the voice had come from. I instantly drew out my wand at the sound of a diverted chuckle.

"Who are you?" I asked, sounding more courageous than I really felt at that moment.

"Frank Longbottom, of course," the voice answered amused.

"Show yourself," I ordered.

"Why should I?" the voice said, "I'm safer this way. Now tell me, Miss De Angelis, how can I possibly be invisible?"

It struck me then he'd been testing me all along.

Frank Longbottom was an Auror. A very good Auror indeed.

I thought fast before answering.

"You might have cast a Disillusionment Spell on yourself so powerful that I can't see you at all or," I paused, trying to hide a grin, "Most probably, you are wearing Mad Eye's Invisibility Cloak which can be – _Accio Cloak!_ - summoned."

A silvery looking fabric instantly came towards me, finally revealing the tall brown haired Auror I had been introduced to at the Order of the Phoenix's Headquarters.

Frank sent me a smile and bowed his head in congratulation.

"You're not as bad as I thought at first," he commented jokingly, "But then, you're Sirius Black's girlfriend, aren't you? You must have _unknown magical skills _to actually get him to date you."

My smile faltered.

"Have I said anything wrong?" he immediately asked, reading my expression correctly.

"Don't mention Sirius, ok?" I said not meeting his stare.

"Why?"

"Just leave it," I pleaded, "Aren't we on a tight schedule?"

"Oh, yes, we are," he said focusing once more on our task, "We need to Disapparate under the Cloak. 201 Downing Street, London. Millicent Bagnold's residence."

I nodded and placed the cloak on both of us.

"Ready?" he asked me.

"Ready," I said taking his hand.

We turned on the spot and disapparated, the feeling of suffocating compression closing down on both of us. We apparated in a busy, trafficked city road mere seconds later, the Invisibility Cloak hiding us from view. Walking carefully on the footpath trying to avoid the wave of early morning workers, we kept our talk to a minimum.

Frank seemed to be a very funny, care-free man, yet I could sense the strength and power emanating from his stance. He was four years older than I was and already sported an assortment of scars all over his face. His eyes had seen a lot, from what I could tell.

201 Downing Street appeared to my eyes as an ordinary old-fashioned building, well maintained and decorated. Even in the Magical world politicians were reserved the very best, it appeared.

We stopped in front of the gate and Frank winked at me.

He tapped the iron gate three times with his fingers, then held his breath, listening carefully.

_Tap, tap, tap._

Someone else had repeated the signal.

I glanced at Frank questioningly.

"It was either Dorcas or Benjy. I signalled them we're here so they can go home," he whispered. "Now, we wait."

I nodded in understanding.

We'd kept silent for more than half an hour when inspiration finally struck.

"_Muffliato_," I said in a very low voice.

"What's that?", Frank asked me alarmed.

"It's just a useful spell that'll allow us not to be overheard," I explained, "I'm getting rather bored, you know."

"Where did you learn it from?" he persisted still uncertain.

"From the books," I replied simply, shifting my body weight on the other leg.

Frank didn't comment on that. He actually seemed to be thinking about something.

"What's going to happen to me and my family?" he asked me all of a sudden.

"Nothing's going to happen, 'cause I've already changed the story by alerting James and Lily not to choose Peter as their Secret Keeper. There's no need to worry," I said quickly.

"Doesn't matter," he persisted, "Tell me what happened to me in those books."

"It's really bad, Frank, trust me," I said, "You don't really want to know."

"Tell me," he insisted.

I sighed in defeat and glanced at him sadly.

"A few days after James and Lily died," I began reluctantly, "The Lestranges and Barty Crouch -"

"Bartemius Crouch?" he interrupted me shocked.

" - Junior, -"

"His son?" asked Frank with wide eyes, "The Head of the Magical Law Enforcement's son is a Death Eater?"

"I haven't said that yet but, yes, he is," I said, glad that he seemed to be catching up very quickly. "Anyway," I continued, "They came to your house to get information about Voldemort, who had just disappeared, and used the Cruciatus Curse on you and your wife."

I paused, unsure of what to say next.

"Oh, well, they didn't kill us, at least," he commented drily, misinterpreting my pause.

"The Curse made you both insane," I said slowly, "You were transferred to St Mungo and remained there for the rest of your lives. I'm sorry, Frank."

The Auror was speechless and appearead in much need of punching something.

"Did they hurt my son, too?" he asked in an angry, dangerous voice.

"No, Neville was fine," I answered. "Your Mother took care of him. He's going to become a good friend of Harry's, you know."

Frank managed a small smile.

"It's all linked to that blasted Prophecy, isn't it?" asked Frank.

"Well, I reckon they came to your place because Neville was Voldemort's second option. It wasn't explained very well in the books, though, so I can only guess," I said.

"And the Prophecy turned out to be real, didn't it?" he asked.

"For Harry it did," I answered slowly, "Although I'm pretty sure it won't work if Voldemort doesn't attack the Potters first. The Prophecy says the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, therefore if he can't do that, the whole thing won't be possible. Does it make any sense?"

"I see your point and it's a good one but are we sure we're strong enough to protect the Potters and destroy Voldemort once and for all?" he questioned.

I sighed heavily. That was where all my reasoning always got down to.

Was there anyone powerful enough to defeat Voldemort? Even without his Horcruxes he was nearly undefeatable. Had I been trying to change things for the worst all along?

_James and Lily are alive. Frank and Alice are still sane. Sirius is free..._

I'd done something right, nothing was yet lost. We would have found a way to end this war, I was sure of it.

My musings came to a halt when the front door of 201 Downing Street opened and a crowd of robed wizards exited it with menacing flare. Right in their midst, a cloaked old lady was fretfully checking her surroundings, wand in hand.

That must have been Millicent Bagnold, the current Minister for Magic.

I'd been expecting a carbon copy of Dolores Umbridge as I'd imagined her to be, yet the old witch descending the front stairs looked more like a fierce aged matron with an iron will. She was the reason why the Ministry hadn't completely fallen into Voldemort's grasp, yet.

"We're going to Apparate to the Ministry's entrance with the Aurors and the Minister," Frank explained to me in a very low whisper, obviously having forgotten about the Muffliato Spell already.

"Is it really necessary?" I asked, eyeing the dozen wizards guarding Mrs Bagnold.

Frank looked at me warily.

"There have been attacks to the Minister every other day, Jemma," he said grasping my hand.

Fear fell over me before turning on the spot for the second time that morning. The moment I apparated I instantly knew something wasn't right. It took me less than a second to realise we were surrounded not only by Aurors but also by a cloud of black robed wizards wearing silver masks. Death Eaters.

Almost forgetting Frank and I were still invisible, I let out a choked squeal of terror.

Curses and hexes were streaking all around us, Aurors were falling to the ground lifeless, screams and shouts were filling the air making my skin curl in dread. Frank didn't think twice before getting out from under the cloak and aimed his wand at a large Death Eater. He struck him effortlessly and slashing his wand right and left he managed to stop two more of them.

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move.

It was like that morning's nightmare all over again.

A green jet of light passed inches from where I was standing, making me snap out of my reverie. I had to fight.

"Stupefy!" I cried pointing my wand toward a thick-set wizard that was duelling an Auror with the help of a tall silvery blond-haired man. The latter did a double turn and tried to find the source of the spell who had struck his companion. I took in his appearance in an instant. Long blond hair, pointed chin ... it was Lucius Malfoy.

He fired a few curses in my direction before being stunned by the Auror he'd been duelling against.

A desperate cry a few meters from me, diverted my attention from Malfoy. A young Auror, not older than I was, was bleeding profusely from a nasty cut on his chest. His work robes were torn and cut and he could barely lift his head from the ground.

Before I could do anything, a thin laughing figure stepped on top of him. "Crucio," the Death Eater said in an unmistakable womanly voice.

The Auror thrashed and screamed in agony, his eyes pleading for mercy.

"Oh, poor you," the woman mocked him guiltlessly, "You should have chosen the right profession, do you see it now?"

It was clear to me who she must have been.

Bellatrix Lestrange laughed and laughed and I was paralised once more. I wasn't ready to witness this. No one could have been ready for it. I saw her flicking her wand for the second time as if in slow motion, the sounds of the battle muffled by the silent scream that was pervading my head.

I barely registered the moment she killed him. I barely noted there was less shouting. I barely saw the Death Eaters waking up their stunned companions and disapparating from the alley.

Ministry employees stormed out of the building to see what had just happened. Shocked cries were exploding everywhere.

_The Minister's dead!_

_She's dead! Mrs Bagnold's dead!_

_Nine Aurors down!_

I was in shock.

Everything had happend so _fast_.

I fell on my knees and started crying, the whole mess I was in had been finally revealed to me in all its crudeness and desperation.

"Jemma!" someone was shouting, "Jemma where are you? Damn! Please, don't be dead! _Accio cloak_!"

I felt the light fabric slipping away from me and I lifted my head. Frank Longbottom looked down on me relieved. He had several gashes on his arms but was otherwise ok.

"Thank Merlin you're unharmed," he sighed, helping me get up from the ground.

I cast a glance at the flock of green robed wizards that had just apparated at the other end of the alley. They were already conjuring stretchers and tending to the injured. The dead were simply being moved to a corner and covered with a white sheet.

"Is - is the Ministry dead?" I asked him dreading the answer.

"Yes," Frank said heavily.

"It's all my fault!" I sobbed, "I - I panicked..."

"It's not your fault, Jemma," he sighed. "She was killed as soon as we all apparated here. I saw the Killing Curse hitting her. I think I saw you stun Rowle, too, am I correct?"

I nodded weakly.

"You've done a good job..."

"I couldn't stop Bellatrix killin -"

"Nobody can stop Bellatrix Lestrange, Jemma," he said fiercily. "Neither could I. In the books, I mean."

"But I froze, Frank!" I nearly shouted at him. "I was scared! I could've stunned her but I - I panicked! I wasn't ready for this!"

"Do you think that Matthews there was ready?" he said harshly pointing at the spot where the young Auror was laying dead. "He was merely a trainee, you know? We're that short-staffed both at the Ministry and the Order that we need to use anyone who can barely hold a wand!"

I sent a glare at him. Was he saying I couldn't even hold a wand?

"I can -"

"You might be good at magic, Jemma, but does it really matter when you can't even word a spell under pressure?" Frank lashed at me, interpreting my thoughts.

He was right.

"I'm sorry I thought I was going to be of any help," I said defeatedly, "I should go back to where I'm from. I've just messed things up by trying to save James and Lily..."

Frank patted me on the shoulder.

"Thanks to you I'm still sane," he half-smiled. "Because of you I can still fight. And sorry for my harsh words but you needed them. This is a war and if you can't use your weapons, you'll die."

"You're right," I mumbled guiltily.

We stepped closer towards the healers so that Frank's cuts could be fixed. In the crowd, a couple of reporters were already flashing their cameras left and right.

"Longbottom!" one of the older Aurors shouted at him, "What the hell were you doing here? Your shift isn't starting until three!"

"Good Morning, Williams," Frank replied tiredly, "I'd been merely passing by, I needed to escort my friend here to the Ministry and we accidentally got caught up in this mess."

"The Minister's dead, Longbottom! It's not a good morning, at all!" he barked, "Nine of us are dead! Nine! We're down to seven now! We'd better hand the whole Ministry down to You-Know-Who now before he exterminates our whole community!"

"Don't say that!" Frank exclaimed, "We need to keep fighting!"

"The Minister's dead, Longbottom!" the old Auror repeated. "I don't care what Moody's going to say. They won. This is the end."

* * *

**A/N: such a cheerful chapter, eh? So many things are happening and the question still remains: how can they defeat Voldemort without Harry Potter being the Boy-Who-Lived? ****Once again, thank you to all my reviewers and all of you who've been following this story! You're all amazing! :-D  
By the way, I uploaded the first of a series of drabbles/cut scenes (Out-takes) from this story a few days ago so please check it out and tell me what you think!**

**JemmadA**


	24. Another Blow

Disclaimer: _**I do not own Harry Potter!**_

**A/N: I feel awfully bad I haven't been updating this fic for so long. Uni and romance got in the way of my writing, but this was definitely the hardest chapter to write. It's still really short, nothing really happens and just links to the main part of the story.**_**  
**_

Chapter 24

**Another Blow**

"I've just got back from Benjy's place" Remus said, hanging his weathered cloak on the wall. "Apparently Jemma was at the Ministry with Frank on the day of the attack."

Sirius's fork dropped on the table with a clank.

"WHAT?" the dark-haired wizard shouted jumping up from his chair, his face suddenly pale.

"Why was she there? Is she ok?" Lily asked immediately, sharing a worried glance with her husband from across the table.

"She's fine," Remus assured them, "Benjy reckons she got really scared, though. She's been helping him, Em and Dorcas putting up protections on Muggleborns' houses for the past few nights."

"But why was _she_ at the Ministry?" James questioned, frowning slightly.

"Alice was sick," said Remus, "and there was no one else available to guard the Minist - "

"What do you mean there was no one else available?" Sirius exclaimed angrily "Dumbledore could have asked me!"

"You're in hiding, Sirius!" Remus said impatiently taking his place at the table. "Voldemort thinks you're James and Lily's secret keeper! And I doubt you could have been of any use that morning with that awful hangover you inflicted on yourself!"

"She could have been killed!" Sirius yelled at him, face now red in anger, his hands balled up into fists. "Even fighting with a hangover is better than knowing my g - she - is in danger!"

"Here he starts again..." Lily muttered shaking her head.

"You don't get it!" he continued glaring at Lily this time. "She could have been killed!"

"Do you think we don't know that?" Lily replied incensed, her eyes flashing dangerously.

"Sirius, stop it," James voiced quietly before his best friend had a chance to say anything else. "Remember what I asked you three nights ago."

Sirius looked at him shamefacedly and slowly sat down once again.

Lily took a deep calming breath and resumed her dinner, her posture slightly more tensed up than usual. She knew fighting with Sirius wasn't worth it, especially now than he was on the edge of breaking down, yet she couldn't believe he could think they didn't care about Jemma as much as he did.

James, understanding her thoughts, rubbed her back gently as if to calm her down.

"There's an Order meeting on Sunday night," said Remus quietly after awhile. "It'll give you a chance to talk to her, Sirius."

"Oh, yeah," Sirius mumbled sarcastically slowly lifting his head "I'm sure she will be oh so ecstatic to see me."

"I'm pretty sure she misses you as much as you do, Sirius," said Lily wisely.

"She hates me," he said in a low voice.

"No, she doesn't," James told him carefully, "But she won't show you that until you apologise on bent knee, I reckon."

Remus and Lily let out a nervous chuckle.

Sirius's lips twitched in an involuntary smile.

...

[Hogwarts]

The week following the fatal attack on Millicent Bagnold passed in a blur of shocking headlines and mounting fear amongst the magical population.

The Wizarding World was in deep chaos. With no leading figure to look up to at the Ministry, everyone's attention was now focused on Albus Dumbledore who, even then, had publicly refused to step up as Minister for Magic. The Daily Prophet had immediately labelled him as a coward and had brought up his family's scandal once again. If only they had known the real reason behind his refusal!

That Saturday morning the blasted newspaper finally announced that Bartemius Crouch had taken up the vacant position. At that moment I knew that there was no turning back. His son was a devoted Death Eater. To cast the Imperius Curse on the new Minister would have been exceptionally easy for Barty Crouch Jr. Auror Williams' words had turned out to be true. This really looked like the end.

However, Hogwarts was still standing and the Order of the Phoenix was still fighting, still protecting as many people as we could.

I'd been giving a hand to Emmeline Vance, Dorcas Meadows and Benjy Fenwick setting up protections on many wizarding and muggle houses all week, in the hope of giving their residents enough time to escape in case of an attack. We mostly worked during night-time, scouting from one village to another, concentrating our efforts on known Muggleborns' properties and families.

I made friends with Dorcas quite easily, she was an extraordinary cheerful person, always with a smile on her face. She seemed to be that kind of person that can talk for hours and hours and never feels tired. Emmeline, instead, was a quiet and reserved thirty year old witch with a brilliant mind.

Benjy, the fun loving, cheeky young wizard completed our little group with a touch of hilarity. Like Dorcas, he was able to make all of us laugh with the silliest of jokes and momentarily helped us forget the sick world we were living in.

"I saw Remus last night," Benjy told us on Thursday, "Poor bloke, full moon's next week and he seemed quite worried. He's staying at the Potters and I sort of gathered James had a fight with Sirius a few nights ago. The weird thing is that those two never quarrel..."

"Do you know what were they fighting about?" Dorcas asked curiously.

"No idea, Remus didn't say," Benjy replied shrugging his shoulders.

I kept silent, my eyes fixed determinately on the ground. I knew perfectly well what must have happened. An angry Sirius could be rather dangerous.

"Well, that is weird," said Dorcas, "Sirius's behaviour has been odd lately. I really hope he hasn't been Imperioused! We should tell Dumbledore!"

I shook my head in disbelief. All three of them looked at me with a questioning look.

"Black's fine, Dumbledore checked him already," I muttered annoyed. "Insanity is just a genetic trait."

Dorcas and Benjy burst out laughing and Emmeline smiled. They looked relieved.

"Is that revenge for how he treated you at the meeting?" Dorcas asked diverted. "You read him quite well, I might say."

"Yeah, he's easy to read," I said simply. "He always wears his heart on his sleeves."

Like I did.

Like I used to do, at least.

It seemed to me I was getting more disenchanted than ever, more cold, more focused.

Being in the middle of that fight, that massacre, had changed me forever. Yet I'd known from the start that that was just the beginning.

At once, my fight with Sirius seemed more like a silly squabble, nothing to fuss over really. There were more important things to worry about, more pressing things to focus my energy onto.

That's why I welcomed the nights spent with Benjy, Em and Dorcas. It gave me the illusion that I was doing something, that I was helping people.

I saw it as a repentance, for not having tried to save that young Auror from Bellatrix's clutch. His tortured eyes had been hunting my sleep, his screams waking me up feeling helpless, scared and guilty. Unbelievably guilty. If Alice had been there, she would have saved him. I was sure of it.

That left me with no time to continue with Severus's lessons, which the Slytherin Head of House seemed to be quite happy about. We hadn't talked much since the disastrous last lesson and I thought I knew the reason why.

Minerva's words had turned out to be exact. The students had gotten to the conclusion that Severus and I where in a some kind of relationship and one of them had even asked the Potion Master about that during class.

"You should help me stop these ridiculous rumours once and for all," Severus finally confronted me one morning at breakfast, "It was absolutely embarrassing being asked stupid questions from an obnoxious fifteen-year-old Gryffindor girl, during class nonetheless!"

"What did you do to her?" I asked him, suppressing a chuckle.

"I gave her detention, obviously," he muttered.

"You're too harsh," I commented.

"Harsh?" he exclaimed in disbelief, "Our world is crumbling to pieces and students are more interested in brainless gossip than what's happening outside these walls!"

"They're trying to keep their minds off it," I said wisely. "This war is affecting them as much as it's affecting us. They're just kids, Severus. We're merely more than kids ourselves."

He humphed.

"Well, it's true," I said. "And, come on, didn't you find it funny how they've interpreted the whole thing?"

"No, I didn't," he replied curtly. "And I still can't believe you're with that mongrel."

"Well, thanks to your antics," I said annoyed, "The mongrel and I had a fight."

"It delights me," Severus said evidently trying to wound me up, "He didn't like our lesson, did he?"

"That's an understatement," I muttered dangerously.

"You will find that there are much better wizards than him around," he said, "I can't believe you fell for him in the first place. You don't appear like the type of witch that chooses looks over brains."

"Sirius isn't stupid," I growled.

"I beg to think differently," Severus said.

"Think as you wish, then," I said while snatching up a large buttery scone from the tray in front of me. I ignored him after that.

In my opinion, Severus took things too seriously most of the time, that's why I couldn't be bothered listening to all his complaints and grudges. It was extremely tiring.

I perfectly knew he was still in love with Lily and petty rumours made him turn even more unbearable because of that. On the other hand, I couldn't stand him talking about Sirius that way, even though I understood where all his bitterness came from.

It was with huge relief then that I read Dumbledore's message informing me of an Order meeting on Sunday night that could have given me the chance to finally talk to him.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed it :)**


	25. Same Old Fears

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter!_**

Chapter 25_  
_

**Same Old Fears**

_So, so you think you can tell  
Heaven from Hell,  
Blue skies from pain?  
Can you tell a green field  
From a cold steel rail?  
A smile from a veil?  
Do you think you can tell?_

I had been staring at the cold, windswept Hogwarts grounds for hours and hours. I was up the tall Astronomy Tower singing to myself the same old lines, that same old song. I didn't know why that first verse had been stuck inside my head all day. I couldn't even remember the lyrics that followed. I could barely remember how I'd had the idea to spend most of my Sunday up there, to tell you the truth.

"Hogwarts is a heaven in the midst of a raging hell," I thought sadly. "Yet, can I really tell what's the difference between the two?"

I checked my watch and swore under my breath. It was time to go. I had to be at the Order's Headquarters in less than thirty minutes.

I sighed heavily and sent a last glance outside of the dusty window, hoping and praying that night's meeting would solve part of my problems.

...

The Headquarters were already warm and chatty when Minerva let me in the house. Even though I knew to be a few minutes late, it seemed like the meeting hadn't started yet. I scanned the room in anticipation, my heart beating fast. It didn't take me long to find who I was looking for. Sirius. A pair of grey eyes stared right back at me, defiant and guilty. Not sure of how to feel and act, I looked away.

It took me a few seconds to realise that the Headmaster wasn't even there.

"Where's Albus?" I asked Minerva with a frown. It wasn't a Dumbledore's thing to be late.

"He received a letter from the Ministry an hour ago and asked me to tell everyone to wait. He said he wouldn't be much late," she said.

I nodded in understanding and sat down on the nearest available chair.

I grabbed an empty glass from the table and poured myself some water, not daring to look further than the tray of sandwiches placed in front of me. A few people around me greeted me politely, others kept going on with their conversations, too engrossed to notice I'd just joined them at the table.

It was a first but being ignored suited me just fine. Suddenly, a light pat on my shoulder woke me up from my thoughts. It was Lily.

"Can I talk to you for a moment, Jemma?" she asked me quietly, sitting down beside me.

I shrugged my shoulders, not sure of what to say. She didn't look angry, but wasn't particularly happy, either.

"Would you like to talk about what happened?" she asked.

"Many things have happened during this past week, Lily," I replied with a small voice.

"Well," she considered, "Start from the thing that worries you the most then." She was being extremely patient. Her tone reminded me of the one she used with Harry whenever the little child was ready for a tantrum.

"Black got angry with me because I'm apparently turning to the Dark Side, he slapped me and fled. Then, I was in the battle at the Ministry of Magic. I saw Bellatrix kill a 20 year old Auror trainee and I didn't have the guts to stop her. I stood there, _safely_ covered by Moody's Invisibilty Cloak, my wand lowered, waiting for the whole mess to end. That's what happened. Happy now?" I said all this in a monotone, my hands shaking slightly.

Lily sighed and took my hands in hers. "Sirius is a prat, Jem. I thought you knew that. He's been an absolute wreck for the whole week. He's sorry and misses you." She paused. "About the battle...please, don't feel guilty. You weren't ready and we understand that. All of us are happy you came out of it in one piece."

I nodded and muttered a small "Thank you."

...

"I apologise for my lateness, my dear friends," Dumbledore spoke. "I was called to the Ministry about two hours ago, as I am sure Minerva has already told all of you, because there has been an emergency. Unfortunately, the news I have to report are dire and sad. Very dire and sad indeed."

Everyone in the room stared at the Headmaster dreading what his next words would be.

"Arthur Weasley and his family have been reported missing. The Ministry does not know what has happened to them, yet. William, Arthur and Molly's eldest son, is currently at Hogwarts. I was asked to inform the little boy of the situation. This is why I could not make it here on time."

The Orders' members paled. Minerva, shocked, brought a hand to her mouth. I began to shake.

"No!" I cried. "This can't be happening! This wasn't supposed to happen!"

"Jemma, please, calm down," said Albus sadly. Lily gave me a hug, her face horrified and tear strained as much as mine must have been.

"We have to save them no matter what!" I said loudly to the room at large. "They c-can't die!"

The people who didn't know me much at all, looked at me sympathetically. They probably thought I hadn't realised yet we couldn't save everyone. I was just the newest recruit, after all.

_The Weasleys could not be dead._

Feeling overwhelmed and frightened I disentangled myself from Lily and exited the room in a hurry. I welcomed the piercing cold on my skin with relief.

"_I have to do something,_" I thought panicking.

_The Burrow _I repeated over and over again, before turning on the spot. The freezing cold was soon replaced by fat icy droplets of rain falling on my head and shoulders like heavy bullets. For once, I didn't complain about the rain but kept walking up the path until I reached the house, instead.

The sight in front of me chilled me to the bones. The tall building was dark and visibly empty. The front door wasn't there anymore and a few windows had been shattered by rocketing spells. The Dark Mark had been cast upon its roof. My heart dropped. Someone must have died in there. I fell on my knees, the world pressing on my shoulders.

"_I've failed" _I muttered over and over again.

_Did they get you to trade  
Your heroes for ghosts?  
Hot ashes for trees?  
Hot air for a cool breeze?  
And cold comfort for change?  
Did you exchange  
A walk on part in the war,  
For a lead role in a cage?_

I don't know why I started singing at that point. I was drenched in rain, surrounded by darkness and completely alone. I don't know why I could finally remember the lyrics that had eluded me all day. _  
_

I was about to leave the Burrow when I heard a soft cry.

"Ron, stop it, please!" a young voice whispered from a thick shrub of bushes somewhere on my right.

_Ron._

I felt hopeful all of a sudden. Perhaps some of the kids had survived. Ron was alive. I silently got closer to where the voice had come from, then lit up my wand.

"Is anyone still here?" I asked softly.

_Please God, or whoever is looking from up there, please, let them be alive..._

I heard gasps and whimpers but no reply came.

"I'm Jemma De Angelis," I explained, my voice calm. "I'm not one of the bad people, I'm not a Death Eater. I'm here to save you. Please, believe me."

Still no answer.

"Are you either Charlie, Percy, Fred, George, Ron or Ginny?" I asked after a few seconds. A sudden movement shook the short shrubs and a small red-head, not older than three or four, came out abruptly. Fred or George. He was shaking badly and tears were cascading down his cheeks. He was sodding wet, his ginger hair plastered onto his freckled little face.

"Go away or I'll fight you!" he cried showing me his fist.

I smiled at him. "You're Fred, aren't you?" I asked him.

"How do you know my name's Fred?" he exclaimed surprised.

"You're the boldest twin," I grinned extending my hand. A hesitant smile formed on his cheeky face and he took a step closer.

"Fred, no!" shouted an eight year old boy – Charlie, I guessed – taking his little brother's arm. "Don't go near her!"

"Charlie, please, listen to me," I pleaded, lowering my wand. "I'm here to take all of you to a safe place. I'm with Dumbledore!" Charlie stared back at me both fearfully and hopefully. He definitely knew who Dumbledore was and that had made him wonder.

"Who is hiding in there a part from you and Fred?" I asked gently.

"George and Ron," said Charlie. "Ron's sick...his forehead's burning."

"Oh my..." I gasped. "Can - ?

I was startled to see Fred and Charlie's eyes staring fearfully at something and then scurrying away inside the vegetation once again.

"L - leave your wand on the ground and roll it away from you," said an anxious male voice from behind my back.

I didn't move.

"Do as I say or I'll kill the children!" he threatened me.

_Damn!_

I did as he asked and turned slowly towards the man. From what I could see from the feeble light cast by his wand, he was rather short and plumpy. I couldn't see his features clearly as his black hooded cloak was covering him almost entirely. I highly doubted he was a Ministry employee. That left only one option. I was facing a Death Eater.

"Who are you?" I asked boldly.

"It doesn't matter," he replied coldly, tightening the grip on his wand. He was breathing fast, as if he was more afraid of me than me of him.

That didn't make any sense. I was wandless with no way of escaping and the thought of not being able to protect the kids poisoning my mind with fear and dread.

"Please..." I begged him. "One of the kids is sick! He needs my help!"

"Shut up!" the man said loudly. He was shaking as well. He conjured a set of ropes and bound me with it.

"I have to kill you," the man said whimpering, looking at me in the face. "My Lord said "no intruders" and I – I can't let you go. I don't want to k – kill you, but – but you have to understand... He's going to torture me if I d – disobey his orders..."

I instantly knew who was hiding underneath that black heavy cloak.

Peter Pettigrew took a deep breath and pointed his wand directly to my heart.

_How I wish, how I wish you were here.  
We're just two lost souls  
Swimming in a fish bowl,  
Year after year,  
Running over the same old ground.  
What have we found  
The same old fears.  
Wish you were here._

I thought of Sirius, the Potters, my parents..._  
_

"AVADA - "

_...  
_

**Lyrics : Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd**

**A/N: Such an irritating cliffy, don't you think? More is coming soon, don't worry!  
Reviews are the very best thing a writer can receive. So...reviews? Pretty please?**

**JemmadA  
**


	26. Unmasked

Disclaimer: _**I do not own Harry Potter!**_

_A/N: This chapter contains strong language and violence!**  
**_

Chapter 26

**Unmasked**

"DON'T YOU DARE, YOU PATHETIC DOUBLE-FACED RAT!" a very familiar voice roared from a dark spot beside the eerily tall, silent house. Pettigrew did a double turn and pointed his wand at the advancing dark shadow, positively frightened.

I couldn't believe my luck. Of all the people I'd been thinking about since Pettigrew showed up, he was definitely the one I needed the most. Perhaps, my wishful thinking had indeed something magical in it. Taking my chance, I frantically searched for my wand, my hands crawling on the grass like spiders in the darkness.

"That's what you've become, Peter?" continued the voice in clear disgust. A tall, dark-haired man stepped forward onto the moon-lit orchard. "A murderer?"

Having recognised the person silently advancing on him, Peter Pettigrew began to shake very badly.

"Expelliarmus!" said Sirius harshly, flicking his wand. Pettigrew's wand flew out of his grasp and landed somewhere in the thick shrubs.

"S – Sirius, you've got it wrong! I'd never - !"

"You're a bleeding Death Eater, Peter!" Sirius shouted, stepping closer and closer to his former friend, his handsome face set in a furious scowl.

"I'm not! Who gave you this stupid idea?" Peter voiced terrified. "Was it Remus? Remus is the spy, Sirius! I've been telling you that for months!"

"Oh, shut up, you traitor!" seethed Sirius, grasping the front of Pettigrew's cloak. "You were about to cast a Killing Curse on an innocent person, you bastard! I'm not as stupid as you think I am!"

"She – she is a Death Eater!" Peter exclaimed frantically, pointing at me in desperation.

Sirius laughed diverted, then punched him straight in the face. The sudden _crack _that followed surely meant he had managed to break the rat's pointy nose. Pettigrew screamed in pain and tried to wiggle out of Sirius's strong grasp.

"You're mad!" he shouted at Sirius, his face now covered in blood. "I haven't done anything wrong! She was about to kill the - "

"For Merlin's sake, Peter, SHUT THE FUCK UP!" bellowed Sirius. "She's not a bloody Death Eater, _you_ are!"

I was looking from one face to the other, my hands still searching for my wand. I was still bound tightly and could barely move.

"Whatever you want to do to him, do it fast and then free me, Black!" I sighed exasperated. Sirius ignored my words. Although he seemed on the verge of saying something he kept his whole attention on the rat, instead.

"She knows you..." said Pettigrew feebly, a tiny bit of suspicion in his voice.

"The Hell she knows me, but that's not the important point right now!" muttered Sirius annoyed. "I don't really know what to do to you, Wormtail. I've played and re-played this moment in my head a thousand times but it looks like it's not going to be easy killing you..."

"K – killing me?" Pettigrew's small eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

"What do you expect me to do, uh?" Sirius snarled. "Do you think I'm going to let you go? Or do you think I'm going to let you transform into that revolting excuse of an Animagus so that you can go back to Lord Psycho once again?"

"I'm not a Death Eater!" Pettigrew repeated, almost sobbing, "You have to believe me!"

"Show us your right arm, then!" I yelled impatiently. Rain was pouring on all of us and it was bitter cold. The kids, who'd been hiding in the cold for hours, needed urgent help and care and there we were, still playing games with a lying, deceiving rat.

"Jemma, let me handle this alone!" Sirius told me, irritated.

"Well, then get these ropes off me, then!" I shouted. "I can't feel my legs anymore!"

"Damn, sorry, I forgot about that!" he gasped. "Relashio!" The serpent-like ropes fell off me easily, disappearing in the air in a puff of smoke.

"Finally," I muttered while standing up from the wet ground. I finally noticed my wand near a small leafless tree and went to pick it up. I suddenly felt a lot more comfortable with it in my hand.

"Please..." Pettigrew sobbed, glancing at Sirius. "I haven't done anything wrong, believe me!"

"So you're telling me Fabian and Gideon's deaths weren't your fault?" Sirius growled in a very dangerous voice. "And what about Marlene, uh? How did the Death Eaters find where her hiding place was?"

"I – I don't know what you're talk -"

"You perfectly know what he's talking about!" I yelled at him. I couldn't stand his deceit anymore. It was clear to me Sirius didn't know what to do, either. It looked like he needed to hear an explanation for what the rat had become. However, we needed to act quickly. Who knew how many more Death Eaters were going to show up next?

Ignoring Sirius's words of "let me handle this alone", I stepped closer to the two men and brusquely grabbed Pettigrew's right arm. The short man fought my grip as much as he could until Sirius decided to collaborate, punching him in the stomach.

Pettigrew doubled over, his face scrunched up in pain.

"Thanks, Black," I said to him. He glared at me as if to say "stop calling me Black!" yet no word came out of his mouth. I knew I wasn't being fair to him, yet that slap was still hurting my ego.

I rolled up the rat's sleeve and, as if there had ever been any doubt from the start, the dark skull and serpent tattoo appeared to our eyes in all its repulsiveness.

"What have you got to say now, Peter?" asked Sirius, unbelievably calm and composed. The man whimpered and began to cry, his eyes darting left and right trying to think of a possible escape plan.

I'd had enough.

"Stupefy!" I cried, pointing my wand at the Death Eater. He slumped on himself and Sirius unceremoniously let him fall to the ground.

"Didn't I specifically ask you to let me handle this myself?" Sirius shouted rounding on me angrily.

"What? I'm sorry but there are more pressing things at the moment than your personal vendetta, Black!" I retorted.

"Stop calling me Black!" he finally yelled, his voice booming in the rain.

"You don't deserve to be called anything else!" I yelled back. The anger and frustration I had been bottling up during that week had finally exploded. Sirius shook his head as if he'd expected my reaction. That exhausted gesture calmed me down in an instant.

"I'm sorry," I said after a moment, "I shouldn't have said that, Sirius." He stared back at me as if not believing my words, a small smile forming hopeful on his lips. He stared at me intensely, his hands searching for mine.

"I was about to lose you, Jem," he said softly.

"Thank you for getting here at the right time, Sirius," I told him quietly. He shrugged it off as if I didn't need to thank him for saving my life.

"I'm sorry about last week," he murmured.

"I'm sorry, too," I whispered, my eyes filling with unshed tears.

He stepped closer and pulled me into a hug, a hug that was worth so much more than any word he could have said to me.

All of a sudden we heard and saw leaves and branches move and little Fred coming out of the shrubs once again. Sirius glanced at me thoroughly surprised.

"Four of the Weasleys' kids have been hiding in there since the attack," I explained to him with a smile, my voice sounding unpleasantly teary and odd.

"Is the bad man dead?" Fred asked curiously, pointing at the unmoving form of the rat.

"No, just stunned," I answered with a shrug.

The child grinned then stared at Sirius frowning. "Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm Jemma's friend. I'm going to help her take you and your siblings to Dumbledore. You're going to be safe, I promise," Sirius explained calmly.

Both of us stepped closer to Fred and knelt down.

"Can you please call your brothers, Fred?" I asked him gently. "We really need to get out of here as soon as possible because we're afraid more bad men are going to c -"

I hadn't even finished the word when two sudden _CRACK! _made Sirius and I turn once again, our wands ready.

"Calm down, you two!" James exclaimed coming toward us, Lily following him closely. Both Sirius and I lowered our wands relieved.

"Thank Merlin, you're here!" Lily breathed out furiously, "We've been searching for you everywhere! Jemma, you idiot, why did you left without telling anyone? We thought you'd gone outside to have some time alone but..." she turned to Sirius, "And you! Why didn't you wait for us before disapparating! Anything could have hap -"

"Thank Merlin I left when I did!" Sirius interrupted her tirade grimly. "If I had gotten here ten seconds later, Jem would've been dead right now!"

"WHAT?"

"Don't you recognise who's here with us tonight?" Sirius continued, walking to Pettigrew's unconscious body. He kicked the rat so that his face rolled upwards, now easy to identify. Lily and James moved closer and stared in shock at the familiar face.

"Bastard!" snarled James, hatred etched all over his face. Lily closed her eyes wearily, instead.

"What are we going to do with him?" she asked weakly.

"Our first priority is the kids, Lily," I said forcefully.

"The kids?" asked James.

I turned around and I realised Fred had disappeared once again. I sighed.

"Charlie, Fred, George, Ron! It's all clear! Please, come out, the sooner we leave the better!" I called.

Fred and George came out first, their faces identical. Charlie followed them holding little Ron in his arms. Lily and I rushed up to them, concerned. Ron's eyes were closed and his little body was shaking violently.

"He's burning!" exclaimed Lily while touching the child's forehead. "We need to get him to Hogwarts immediately!"

"Hogwarts?" Charlie asked in wonder.

"Yes, Charlie," I said smiling, "We will take you to a safe place where Dumbledore is first, then we'll move you all to Hogwarts."

I turned to Sirius. "Tie the rat up and take him to Albus for now," I said. "James, Lily and I will take the kids instead, alright?"

Everyone nodded.

Lily lifted Ron up and hugged him, James took one twin in each hand and I asked Charlie to come with me. Sirius kicked Pettigrew once again, tied him up and grasped his arm.

"Ready?" James asked us and the kids.

"Ready," all of us answered back.

…

A few instants later we were knocking at the Order's Headquarters door, Fred, George and Charlie looking at each other confused. They weren't in the secret, therefore they could not see the building at all.

It wasn't Minerva to open the door but Dumbledore. The old wizard seemed a little shocked to see us with the four red-headed children. He smiled at us.

"This is the Order of the Phoenix Headquarters, my dear children," he immediately said. The twins and Charlie opened their mouths in wonder as the old house appeared in front of their eyes.

"Come in, quick, come in!" he ordered us, gesturing us inside.

The Order's members left in the room took in our drenched appearance in utter disbelief. Their eyes moving from Pettigrew, bound and unconscious, to the four children all wet and shaking. Minerva cast a Drying Charm on all of us and we felt instantly better. Albus conjured a large enough sofa to accommodate the kids, who, shy all of a sudden, muttered grateful "thank you"s .

"We need to take Ron to Madam Pomfrey immediately, he's feverish," Lily told Albus.

The Headmaster nodded and glanced at Minerva.

"I'll come with you, Lily," Minerva said, taking the younger woman's hand. Lily smiled at her and after kissing her husband on the cheek she disapparated along with the Transfiguration Professor.

...

"I must say I am very impressed with all of you," Albus Dumbledore spoke at last, his eyes twinkling. He sat down at the table and gestured us to do the same. James and Sirius followed suit while I sat on the sofa with the Weasleys.

"Where did you find the children, Jemma?" the old wizard asked me.

"At the Burrow, the Weasley's residence," I answered. Most of the people in the room turned downright furious while hearing this. "_Ministry morons_" quite a few of them hissed, shaking their heads appalled.

"They were hiding in a group of shrubs," I explained. "I was about to leave when I heard Ron's cries and Charlie asking him to keep quiet. While I was talking to them, however, Pettigrew showed up and tried to do me in."

"That was when I got there and saved her. Then, I finally let out my frustration on poor little Peter," Sirius interrupted me, his words barely hiding how angry he still was.

"Lily and I showed up after that," James continued, "And we helped them bring the kids here."

"Where is Percy, the third child, and Ginny, the youngest?" asked Emmeline worriedly from the other end of the table.

"We don't know," I said. I turned to Charlie, hoping he could answer.

"Percy is at Auntie Muriel's," he said in a low voice. "Mum took him there in the morning because he wanted to read books. Ginny was inside the house with Mum and Dad when the bad men came."

His blue eyes filled with tears.

Seeing their older brother cry, Fred and George became more restless.

"Where are Mummy and Daddy?" asked Fred terrified.

"And Ginny?" George questioned us then, his eyes turning watery as well. "Did the bad men hurt Mummy and Daddy and Ginny?"

...

**A/N: I know, I know...this chapter doesn't end on a good note. What happened to Molly, Arthur and Ginny? Will our heroes be able to find them? Why were they attacked in the first place? **

**Thank you so much to all my reviewers and all of you who faved/alerted this story :)**

**I said I was gonna update in a few days to some of you but my internet modem left me stranded! Sorry!**

**JemmadA xxx**


	27. Information and Revelations

**Chapter 27**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter!**_

_**A/N: Yes, I'm an awful updater, I know. But I truly love writing this story and I promise I'll battle through work and studies to finish it :) So please, put up with me! Read, Enjoy, Review!**_

**Information and Revelations**

I sat on a stool in the Hospital Wing, face hidden behind my hands. On my left, Charlie Weasley's sleeping form was neatly tucked in under the thick woollen blankets, his freckled hand curled up on top of the pillow. On my other side, Fred and George were cuddled up together on the same bed, their little faces peaceful and calm at last. A small blue bottle of Dreamless Potion that Poppy had left on the mahogany little table between the two beds shimmered faintly in the moonlight seeping in through the window.  
I could hear Poppy Pomfrey fretting over Ron in the adjacent room, whose feverish little body had not yet recovered enough to allow the boy some rest.

I couldn't think, I couldn't reason. The hopelessness I felt in that precise moment was so vast and indescribable that any other feeling seemed silly in comparison. The reason I'd been sent there was to prevent bad things from happening! And now, Ginny, Molly and Arthur were probably dead...

_My fault._

How many times I had repeated those words lately.

Fat, warm tears were trailing down my cheeks while my noisy sobs echoed in the spotlessly clean room. A few empty beds were almost calling me from the other side of the Wing, yet I felt more comfortable sitting on that hard rickety stool as a way to pay for my foolishness.

The Hospital Wing door opened silently and I looked up instinctively. Sirius Black entered the room and quietly walked to me.

"James, Lily, Remus and Harry have set up nicely in your quarters," he told me. "There's not much space left but I reckon we could squeeze inside the bath tub," he added, tempting a smile.

I shrugged my shoulders, not in the mood for jokes at all.

He sighed dejectedly and sat down on the empty stool beside me.

"Let's get some sleep, Jem," Sirius whispered quietly. He squeezed my shoulders and placed a kiss on my temple. I shook my head.

"You're not going to help anyone by refusing to sleep," he told me.

"I must come up with a plan, with _something_..." I half-croaked with a tear-strained voice.

"You need to rest," he insisted. "We will think of something in the morn-"

"They might not survive 'till morning, Sirius!" I sobbed. "If..."

"We don't even know _if_ they're still alive, Jem!"

"Don't!" I sobbed covering my face with my hands once again.

"We don't even know where they are!" he continued almost harshly, as if trying to make me see sense.

"We must try at the Malfoys or -"

"What, barge into a Death Eaters' cove while half-asleep?" Sirius asked angrily driving my hands away from my face. "Can't you remember what a Death Eater can do?"

_Bellatrix. Malfoy, Wormtail..._

I nodded mortified. I sounded like a spoilt child.

"I won't let you risk your life ever again, do you understand?" he exclaimed forcefully while looking at me straight in the eyes.

"You can't," I told him quietly.

"Yes, I -"

"No, Sirius," I said determinedly. "I'm in this mess as much as you are. I let this happen. I will fix it!"

He stared at me with a incredulous expression.

"How could you have known the Weasleys were going to be targeted instead?" said Sirius. "Stop saying it's your fault, for Merlin's sake!"

I lowered my eyes.

"I _should_ have known," I muttered. Sirius shook his head even more impatiently.

"How do you think you can get into a Death Eater's house, anyway?" he asked me.

I shook my head helplessly, anxiety and panic building up steadily inside my stomach. I ran a hand through my hair. There were so many knots that I would have gladly torn my scalp out if Sirius hadn't promptly caught my hand in his.

"Stop hurting yourself, honey," he said sadly "Please let's go to bed. We need to get some rest! We can't do anything right -"

The Hospital Wing's door opened abruptly and both Sirius and I looked up to see an unusually flustered Snape coming toward us, his black robes drenched and crumpled. The sallow looking wizard sported a large gash on his left cheek and was clutching his right hand with obvious discomfort.

"What happened to you?" I immediately asked concerned. I'd never seen him so agitated before.

"The Dark Lord -" he began.

"_Voldemort_," Sirius corrected him annoyed.

Severus glared at him disgusted.

"The Dark Lord," he continued, "wasn't impressed with tonight's results. Pettigrew was caught and half the Weasleys are safely tucked in Hogwarts. He was mostly displeased with me for not informing him about what the Order knew about the rat."

He spat the last word with such spite that for a moment even Sirius might have felt a tiny bit of sympathy for him.

"Would you like me to call Madam Pomfrey?" I asked him worried. "She's tending to Ron Weasley but -"

"I can mend myself rather well, De Angelis," he cut across my words, his cold demeanour back in place. "Molly and Arthur Weasley are still alive, they are held at the Lestranges -" Sirius groaned loudly "- Arthur is in very bad conditions, though. He won't probably survive the night -"

My heart almost stopped. _Not Arthur..._

"What about Ginny?" Sirius asked with a shaken voice so unlike his.

Severus Snape's expression softened a tiny bit.

"Bellatrix couldn't stand her crying so she surprisingly carted the baby off to her sister - Lucius Malfoy's wife – instead of killing her," he explained calmly.

I sighed in relief while Sirius looked up at Snape darkly.

"Why?" he asked confused.

"What do you mean, Black?" Snape sounded irritated.

"Why would your pals let her live when they didn't give a damn about exterminating Edgar's sons or Marlene's little siblings?" asked Sirius standing up from the stool and walking towards Snape pointing his finger. "What do they need her for?"

"I..." Snape seemed to be grasping for words.

"It's a trap, isn't it?" Sirius asked in disbelief, taking his wand out. "That is why you're informing _us_ and not Dumbledore!"

"What's all this ruckus!" said an irate voice. Madam Pomfrey entered the room with glowering eyes taking in the scene in front of her. "These children are sleeping! Mr Black, the Hospital Wing is supposed to be an healing place not a duelling ground! Whatever you and Professor Snape need to quarrel about can be done somewhere else!"

"I'm sorry, Poppy," I apologised for them, glancing at the middle-aged woman with respect. The matron looked at me softly, her face as tired as mine must have been.

"I know it isn't you fault, dear," she said to me while glaring at the two wizards. "These two seem not to have grown up at all."

Snape huffed and exited the Hospital Wing without a word. I stood up and followed him taking Sirius's hand in mine. Madam Pomfrey shook her head in disapproval then hurried to check the sleeping Weasley boys with great care.

"Dumbledore is at the Ministry right now by the way -" Severus said spitefully leaning onto the stone corridor wall.

"Shut up Snivellus!" Sirius growled shutting the door behind him. "He knows James, Lily and I were at the Burrow tonight, doesn't he? He knows that we'd do anything to save the little girl and he knows that this could be the only way to attract us there so that he can get to Harry!"

"Almost correct, Black," Snape replied calmly "He wants _you_ there because Pettigrew informed him you're the Secret Keeper."

Sirius's jaw slackened for a moment, then turned his eyes in my direction half-apologetically.

I looked up at him expectantly.

_That made sense._

The fact he was living at the Potters, that he couldn't go out much, that he couldn't see me... Why hadn't he told me that particular information before? And how come Peter Pettigrew had known that?

"I'm sorry Jem," he whispered. "I didn't want you to worry about me."

"How long?" I asked him.

"Since the day after you came to Hogwarts," he said.

"Why did Pettigrew know?"

"Dumbledore told him," Sirius answered. "He – he had to give him the reason why he couldn't see us. I knew about it, I even suggested Albus to say all that to the rat. I'm the only one that can do this. I'd die before betraying James and Lily."

He had said the last sentence with such passion that I wouldn't have been able to disagree about his decision. It hurt a bit knowing he'd left me out of it, yet I respected him even more at the same time. He'd taken the burden without burdening myself with it, too. I hugged him fiercely, inwardly thinking I couldn't have found a better man to love anywhere else in the world or, in my particular case, in time.

"Thank you for understanding, Jem," Sirius whispered relieved. Snape snorted in disgust at our display of affection and took a few steps down the corridor.

"Where do you think you're going?" Sirius asked him icily.

Severus stopped walking and turned toward us with a indescribable expression.

"I need to tend to my injuries, Black," he seethed. "It sickens me to watch how tightly you have tied her around your little finger."

"Don't you dare -" Sirius yelled pointing his wand at Snape once more.

"Sirius, leave it," I told him while keeping him from doing something stupid. "It's not worth it!"

"Listen to De Angelis, Black," Snape smiled evilly. "She definitely has more brains than you have."

Sirius let out an odd sound of anger and frustration that, if the situation hadn't been so desperate, would have made me burst into laughter.

"Why did you inform us of all people, Severus?" I asked, instead.

"Because I had the impression that the Weasleys' health concerned you more than any other in the Order, De Angelis," Snape replied curtly turning away from us once more.

"But – but what can I do?" I almost cried after his retreating back.

"That is not my concern, De Angelis," he said so quietly I could barely hear his words. With that he turned left into another corridor and disappeared from view. I could have run after him but my knees buckled as the tiredness I'd been keeping at bay for the past hours finally crashed over me. I gripped Sirius's arm to steady myself and looked up at him.

"What can I do?" I repeated weakly.

"Nothing, Jem," he sighed. "You need to rest. Let's call that House-Elf of yours - what's her name? - maybe she can prepare that chamomile tea you're so fond of."

I looked at him in wonder.

_Ember._

I finally knew the answer. The solution had always been there.

"What's wrong?" asked Sirius sounding concerned.

"House-Elves," I said simply.

He narrowed his eyes for a moment then gaped at me, understanding clearly written all over his face.

"You're brilliant," he said.

_**A/N: Curious to know what's going to happen? Any idea?  
Thank you to my reviewers and all of you who alerted or faved "The Circle". Your support means a lot to me :)**_


	28. How To Plan A Rescue Gryffindor Style

_Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter!**_

**Chapter 28**

**How to plan a rescue_ (Gryffindor Style) _**

"Where are the kitchens?" I asked with a jolt of frenetic enthusiasm, turning my head left and right as if waiting for a sign to appear out of nowhere.

"Just call the elf," Sirius said rolling his eyes upwards.

"We can't rely on Ember only, Sirius!" I exclaimed. "I can't order her to put herself in danger, I want to ask the other elves as well!"

"Yeah, and they will surely refuse, won't they?" retorted Sirius with a snort.

I looked at him stunned. He had a point.

"Take me to the kitchens anyway," I asked him, grasping his hand forcefully.

"You need to rest," said Sirius.

"I'll rest when Arthur, Molly and Ginny are alive and safe at Hogwarts," I replied stubbornly.

"Jemma..."

"Sirius, I can't!" I said.

"Yes, you can and you must!" he almost yelled at me. "You won't go a mile near to my cousins without proper rest and a sound plan!"

"You don't understand!"

"_I_ don't understand? _I_? I understand more than you think you do! What are you planning, uh? Asking an elf to pop into the Lestranges' gaols, rescue Molly and Arthur, then run off to Malfoy Manor to get to Ginny? Have you got any idea of how many things can go wrong?" He paused for a moment to catch his breath then continued unabashed. "What if something goes wrong at the Lestranges or at the Malfoys? What if the Lestranges warn the Malfoys or vice versa? There's an Horcrux under Malfoy's drawing room, Jemma! We can't play with fire in this particular case! We have to snatch the Horcrux _and_ Ginny at the same time...we won't have a second chance at it otherwise!"

I stood in front of him, mouth agape, my mind reeling with all the things he was saying. It all made sense and, honestly, I started to panic.

"So what should we do?" I asked him dejectedly.

"Follow me," was all he said before taking off into a run.

"Where are we going?" I exclaimed exasperated trying to catch up to him.

...

"Wake up, sleepy heads, wake up!" Sirius said loudly barging into my quarters with the elegance of a furious hippo. He switched on the oil lamps with a flick of his wand and smiled fondly at the scene in front of him. A mass of blankets and pillows was covering my office floor where James and Remus were sleeping. Lily and Harry were sleeping on the sofa, comfortably enlarged to accommodate for two. Not seeing anyone stirring, Sirius snatched up James and Remus' blankets and repeated, even louder this time, "WAKE UP, SLEEPY HEADS, WAKE UP!"

"Padfoot, are you insane?" James yelled at him at once, rubbing his eyes with one hand and searching for his glasses with the other. Remus rolled onto his other side and hid his head under the pillow instead. Lily sat up from the sofa with a murderous glare while little Harry began to wail.

Sirius, not entirely happy yet, conjured a set of cow bells that started to clang noisily above Remus's head. That, along with Harry's cries, finally woke Remus up. He was not happy to say the least.

"What do you want?" the werewolf howled annoyed throwing a pillow at Sirius.

"Marauders' meeting!" Sirius exclaimed sarcastically ruffling Remus's hair.

James looked at him with a closed expression while Remus, fighting a smile, had a faint trace of nostalgia in his eyes. Lily huffed concentrating on calming her baby boy, instead.

"The Marauders are no more, Sirius," James said lowly. "Tonight ordeals proved it quite clearly."

"Let's find a new name, then," Sirius replied curtly. "What matters right now is that Snivellus told us where Molly, Arthur and Ginny are at the moment."

The three of them looked at us expectantly.

"Yes, they're alive..." I confirmed.

"... And yes, we need a plan," concluded Sirius.

...

"No, no, no!" Lily insisted. "We need one elf for Ginny, one for me to get the Horcrux - "

"No way I'm going to let you go by yourself!" James cut across her. "I'm going for the - "

"We're going together, then!" she said loudly before her husband could say one more word.

"Honestly, I reckon neither of you should go," Sirius told them quietly. James and Lily shot glares at him.

"I agree with Sirius," Remus spoke at last. "I should go."

"You don't even know what to look for, Moony!" James snorted.

"Because _you_ do?" Lily laughed. "I read those books more than you did!"

"It's a black leather journal!" James said fuming.

"Was it real leather or black plastic, uh?" Lily questioned him.

"Does it really matter?" James shot back, looking ready to strangle her.

"The books just said "small black diary"!" she said in a superior voice.

"I think Lily's right," I commented yawning, my eyes half-closed.

"I give up!" James exclaimed tiredly first glaring at me then at Lily. "You always know best, don't you, woman?"

The discussion had been going on for more than an hour. We'd reached to the point where we needed to decide who was going where and the Potters couldn't accept our reluctance to let them be part of the mission. They had to look after Harry but they both seemed too stubborn and noble to understand that.

"So if one of you is getting the Horcrux, I shall take the joyful opportunity to visit my dear demented cousin," Sirius said grimacing.

"I'm coming with you," I said promptly. I would have given up magic and all before letting him face Bellatrix alone.

"I won't let you!" Sirius growled dangerously. "You're staying here, full stop."

"Who do you think you are to order me around?" I shouted at him, all sleepiness gone. "I came up with the plan and I am going to rescue Arthur and Molly!"

"Over my dead body!" he stated stubbornly.

"Not you two as well!" Remus exclaimed loudly. "I've had enough. Time is running out and both sets of you are behaving like children! _I_ am going to the Malfoys, James and Lily are staying here with Harry and Sirius and Jemma are going to the Lestranges. This is it and do not complain."

Remus looked at us defiantly as if daring us to utter a single word.

James grinned.

"You won't leave me out of this, Lupin," he said. "Do you want to go for the Horcrux? Good. I'm going to save my future daughter-in-law instead."

"And I am the one that has to stay put, hoping nothing goes wrong?" Lily blurted out offended. "I'm not -"

"Wait a second, Lily," Sirius interrupted her. "James is right. Remus won't be able to get to the Horcrux _and_ Ginny, even though the elf could get to Ginny while he searches. The perfect solution is James with an elf going for the little girl, Remus with another elf going for the Horcrux and Jemma, Ember and I going to the Lestranges."

"That is three elves we would be endangering, Sirius," I commented sadly. I knew that using House-Elves had been my idea but I couldn't stand those creatures dying for us. "I don't want them to get killed like Dobby," I added.

"Who's Dobby?" asked Remus puzzled.

"A House-Elf," answered Lily frowning. "He saved Harry from Malfoy Manor but got killed by Bellatrix in the process."

"Dobby is the Malfoys' Elf right now," Sirius said thoughtfully. "Do you reckon he could give us a hand?"

"I don't know," I said. "Dobby revered Harry because he defeated Voldemort. That hasn't happened at present."

Lily nodded. "That doesn't mean he isn't a wonderful House-Elf, though," she said.

"But he's owned by the Malfoys and we can't risk it," James put in. He was rubbing his temples angrily while giving sidewise glances at his sleeping son.

"You should wear the Invisibility Cloak, James," I suggested. "Getting to Ginny is by far the most dangerous task and we already know it is meant to be a trap. They'll hear the noise when you apparate but they won't be able to hex you or summon the Cloak. That will give you quite an advantage I reckon."

James smiled.

"She is brilliant," Sirius said proudly ruffling my hair gently.

"And Sirius, I think Ember should go with James or Remus," I said to him slowly. "You already own a House-Elf."

He looked at me as if I had just sprouted horns and boils.

"Are you insane?" he whispered. "Kreacher _sold_ me to Bellatrix, Jemma."

"In the books, Sirius," I said. "He bowed in front of us and thanked us less than two weeks ago."

"He adores that _psychopath_!" he pressed on as if I hadn't spoken. "I won't risk your life by trusting that conniving little monster!"

I looked at him hardly then decided to give up. Time was running out and we needed to get going as soon as possible.

"Let's go," I said to the others while standing up from the tangle of blankets laid on the floor. I summoned my cloak and draped it across my shoulders, its silver fastening tinkling faintly with one another.

"Wait a -" Sirius started to say while roughly grasping my arm.

"Shut up," I told him while walking to the door. "Let's go to the kitchens."

"Wait a moment!" he said forcing me to turn around and look at him. "Promise me you'll listen to every word I say otherwise I won't let you come with me."

I snorted in disbelief.

"Promise me!" he repeated, a trace of panic in his voice.

"Would you do the same if I asked you?" I questioned him with a grimace. "Would you save your skin and run for it if I told you so?"

He opened and closed his mouth a few times before lowering his eyes.

"Good," I stated opening the door. "I see you're smart enough to grasp my view on the matter."

I saw his mouth twitching with the corner of my eye. He wasn't ready to back off yet.

He glanced at James and Lily who were talking softly to each other and Remus who was looking for his shoes, then pushed me outside in the corridor.

"You're impossible," he told me strongly, pinning me to the wall.

I scoffed.

"But I love you," he continued nonplussed. "Of all the sane people on this planet I had to fall in love with you and now I'm paying the consequences."

"I feel sorry for you," I said sarcastically. "I truly do."

He let out a forced laugh.

"Jem, promise me you'll be careful," he said seriously. "Promise me that you won't do stupid things, promise me you'll hide behind my back if it comes to the worst, promise me you won't get hurt..."

"Sirius, we'll face it together," I told him forcefully. "I'm not as useless as you think I am!"

"I've never said you're useless, Jem!" he exclaimed, sounding perplexed. "Why do you think that?"

"You're always so overbearing, so worried, so -"

"I care about you, love," he said pulling me closer to him.

Sirius's lips were an inch from mine when Remus walked out of my quarters, eyes fixed on buttoning up his jacket. Sirius stepped back from me with a sigh and visibly frustrated, run a hand through his hair. James and Lily came out a moment later, their hands entwined and their eyes fixed on each other as if this were a final goodbye.

Right then, their display of mutual love and affection made me realise how immature and unstable my relationship with Sirius had been from the start. A month apart had been extremely unproductive and side-tracking for both of us. It seemed like we almost needed to start from scratch once again.

"I'll be back soon," James told Lily. "Inform Dumbledore when he gets back and look after Harry, alright?"

She nodded warily then embraced each one of us, her eyes moist.

"Be careful," she whispered in my ear. "And do come back."

...

The trip to the kitchens had been quite daunting, our steps eerily reverberating along the dark and empty corridors. James lead the group with an unmistakable air of urgency, his right hand clutching the mahogany wand as if readying himself for an attack already. Remus followed him a few steps behind, his demeanour exceptionally calm. Sirius and I lapsed behind, hand in hand.

We found ourselves in front of the cheery still-life painting fifteen minutes later and waited for James to tickle the plumpy pear to open the door.

"This is it," James muttered while pushing the passage open.

A dozen house-elves lifted their long-eared heads and looked at us curiously from the working benches. They looked to be working on the daily breads and pastries, their hands and arms all covered in flour and dough.

"What can us do for Miss and Masters at this early hour?" the closest to us asked with a croaky voice. The elf hastily cleaned his hands on his "dress" (that seemed to have been a cut out from a red and white checked tablecloth) and smiled at us waiting for an answer.

"Er, hello," I said uncertainly. "I was wondering if Ember was here. My friends and I would like to talk to her."

"Did Ember do wrong to Miss?" the elf questioned immediately, his face showing growing concern.

"No, no, she does her job beautifully!" I immediately said.

"Miss!" said a squeaky voice from somewhere on my left. I turned my head around and saw little Ember standing close to the laundry door, holding a large basket full of linen. She must have turned up when hearing me talking about her.

"Hello Ember, we just need your help, well, we actually need three of you for a very important task " - Ember's and the other elves' attention positively doubled - "We need to rescue a few people from very bad wizards and we know you can apparate anywhere while we can't..."

"Us can't apparate to places us don't know, Miss!" she said sadly. "Ember can try but she does not want to do wrong!" Some elves nodded in agreement, others seemed definitely relieved at the impossibility of the task. I couldn't blame them for that.

The news complicated the matter, yet we still had one little chance. James and Remus looked at me discouraged while Sirius was unmistakably avoiding my eyes. He must have caught up even before I had.

"Sirius, please..."

"No."

"We have to save them and you know that!"

"He will put us all in danger!"

"He's our only chance..." I said looking at him pleadingly.

"No!"

"He can tell two other elves where to go!"

James and Remus followed our two way conversation in complete bewilderment.

"No."

"Yes!"

"No!"

It'd taken me all my power not to stomp my feet on the ground like a spoilt child.

"Are you a Gryffindor or what?" I asked him instead. From the expression forming on his face, I knew I had won. He glared at me for a moment before muttering "_Kreacher!_"

...

_**A/N: Thank you chocolate fish, joanvindiesel, Alice2Epic, Catgirlie and fflight for reviewing the last chapter! Hope this update cleared most of your questions! Next chap is gonna be a very tough one to write... loads of dark stuff in it, so be ready for it!**_

_**Reviews, pretty please?**_


	29. Trust

Chapter 29

Disclaimer: _**I do not own Harry Potter**_

_**A/N: I apologise - again - for the long wait. I've been trying to do too many things lately and every time I sit in front of my laptop I lack inspiration... I know where the story is going, I know what to write... but I need motivation. This chapter is quite short but needs to be posted. I hate too many changes of P. in a single chapter so I couldn't really have ch29 and ch30 (almost completed) together...**_

**Trust**

...

"_Are you a Gryffindor or what?" I asked him with a smirk._

_He glared at me for a moment before muttering "Kreacher!"_

_..._

The thin, wrinkled House-Elf appeared with a resounding _crack! _barely a second after Sirius had called his name. He cast a look around himself, scowled proudly at the other elves in the room, then turned his large eyes on his Master.

"Master Sirius," he said, bowing low in greeting. "Kreacher is at your service."

Sirius stared at him in disbelief. I could sense his uncertainty on how to phrase our request. James seemed to have finally understood what was going on and sent me a small smile. Remus, however, had still a puzzled look on his face and eyed the elf wearily.

"Is this your Mother's elf, Sirius?" he asked perplexed. "Is this the elf you always used to complain about years ago?"

"Er, yeah..." Sirius muttered weakly.

"He doesn't look that _hostile_," Remus commented lightly.

"I'll agree with that if I'm alive this time tomorrow," Sirius said eyeing the elf suspiciously. Kreacher didn't react to Sirius's words, just kept staring at him, patiently awaiting for orders.

"Come on, Sirius," I nudged at him encouragingly. "There's no time for old grudges right now."

Sirius glared at me irritated.

"If this goes wrong and we all die because of it, I'll -"

"You'll haunt me forever and ever, yeah, OK." I cut across him impatiently. "Get a move."

"Get a move?" Sirius seethed, furiously clenching his fists. "Do you even realise how many things can go wrong? Can't you see what you're asking me to do? Putting my best friends' lives at risk and your own life at risk by trusting _my_ house-elf?"

I'd never thought about it his way. There was nothing I could say without sounding selfish and careless.

"Sirius, mate," said James, "I see your point but we've run out of options. Kreacher knows the locations of the two manors. He's our only way in."

At last, Remus's eyes lit up in understanding. From his reaction, I could see he wasn't against the idea. Even Sirius noticed that and it didn't make him happy. He stared at me hardly. His stance was of a man that wasn't ready to back down yet.

"But -" he started.

"No, Sirius," I interrupted him before he could utter another word, "I trust Kreacher."

Sirius's only reaction was a painful grimace. The elf looked at me curiously instead. It must have been a peculiar thing for him to hear since Regulus's death.

"Kreacher does what Master asks," he croaked, his large eyes back on Sirius. "Master is helping Kreacher destroy the locket. Kreacher does not forget."

Sirius seemed to be fighting an internal battle. He glanced at James, who nodded subtly. Then turned to Remus who shrugged as if to say "I don't really like it but there's no other way."

"You win," he told me bitterly.

I frowned at him and wrote myself a mental note: _Do not push him to the limit again today._ I might have 'won' yet didn't feel good about it. There was too much at stake and I was frighteningly aware of it.

Sirius took a deep breath and got down to explain the plan to Kreacher. The old elf silently listened and nodded every once in a while with his large bald head.

Sirius's voice didn't sound right. It was clipped and edgy, extremely unusual for a man like Sirius. He'd always been the careless joker, the reckless rebel. He had indeed changed. And I wasn't entirely sure I liked that too much.

In the meantime, James and Remus had conjured a couple of chairs and sat down. I leaned onto the wall, my arms crossed. An overenthusiastic elf appeared at our side with a tray laid with freshly baked almond biscuits and mugs of steamy hot chocolate.

Remus reached for the hot drink gratefully while James politely refused. The young father had been staring at his wedding ring for a while, his head lost in thought. I couldn't really understand what he was feeling... I wasn't married, neither had a child. Yet I felt a stab of pain in my chest as I listened to Sirius's odd voice.

I hadn't noticed the elf with the tray standing beside me. I picked up a biscuit even though my stomach seemed to be doing summersaults.

"Could you do this for us Kreacher?" Sirius finished wearily. "Please?" he added as an afterthought.

"Yes, Master Sirius," Kreacher croaked. "Kreacher can tell two elves where Miss Cissy lives and take Master Sirius and Miss Jemma to Miss Bella."

Sirius eyed me for a moment as if to say "I told you so." I didn't pretend I hadn't heard the loving tone the elf used naming the two witches.

"Remember what Harry does in Half-Blood Prince," I said to him, hoping he'd understand. Sirius had thought hard for a moment before nodding.

"You are forbidden to tell anything to the Lestranges or the Malfoys, to communicate with them in any way, no notes, no words... absolutely nothing," Sirius told the elf. "Is it clear?"

"Yes, Master," Kreacher said. I was relieved to see his demeanour had been neither deceitful nor antagonistic.

...

James and Ember were already hidden under the Invisibility Cloak. A young scruffy elf who'd volunteered for the mission was grasping Remus's right hand. The creature looked both excited and terrified. I really hoped he was up to the task as Remus did need as much help as possible to find the Horcrux.

I was holding Kreacher's hand with a sense of terrible foreboding. Sirius was at the elf's other side sending me preoccupied glances.

We were ready. Sort of.

I found myself praying to see them all again - alive - in a few hours.

"This is it," James's voice said out of no where. I held my breath. "At my three. One...Two...Three!"

The sudden feeling of apparition didn't surprise me as much as the realisation that we were about to...

**_A/N: Thanks to my faithful followers. It's amazing knowing you're still reading The Circle after all this time!_**

**_Reviews are always welcome :)_**

**_JDA_**


	30. A Father And A Werewolf

Chapter 30

Disclaimer: _**I do not own Harry Potter**_

_**A/N: Oh my... here's a new chapter... Enjoy!**_

_**A Father and a Werewolf**_

James Potter had always thought himself invincible. Or at least, until recently.

With all the drama of finding out about the prophecy and travelling to the future, the young father had never felt so old and exhausted. Lily had been worrying over him for weeks now. She had started forcing him to eat, to sleep, to smile... His thin frame now looked even more thinner, his face had that perpetual haunted look of a man that knew he was about to die...

_Maybe I'm supposed to die young, _he had told himself over and over again that night.

It had taken him a while coming to terms with his own very possible death, yet he hadn't been able to accept the idea of leaving Harry to grow up alone. He'd read 'The Vanishing Glass' chapter so many times he now knew it by heart.

"_The Dursleys often spoke about Harry as though he wasn't there – or rather, as though he was something very nasty that couldn't understand them, like a slug."_

Those words had felt like shards of glass tearing his heart apart. _Harry isn't a slug!_, James had screamed in his head. It had felt unbearable to know that his son would have to grow up that way, especially since he knew how privileged his own upbringing had been.

"_He'd lived with the Dursleys almost ten years, ten miserable years, as long as he could remember, ever since he'd been a baby and his parents had died in that car crash...He couldn't remember his parents at all..."_

_I won't let it happen. I was given a second chance, I ought not to blow it._

Ember wrinkled little hand was clutched in his, the Invisibility Cloak already covering both of them. He'd glanced at Sirius and almost smiled. His best mate was angry, no doubt about that, but he'd never been so fiercely protective of anything in his life like he was of Jemma. And it was hilarious to watch her cringing at his behaviour like it was a personal insult to her abilities. James Potter really hoped for them to make it and to have a chance at that same happiness he'd shared with Lily and Harry.

His wary eyes then focused on Remus and he felt ashamed of himself. He'd believed in Sirius's hasty accusations of Remus being the spy and yet, here Remus was, stoic and ready to risk his own life for the greater good. He'd have to make it up to him if they got back alive.

_Please, not tonight, _was his last thought before disapparating.

He and Ember found themselves in a long, dimly lit corridor. A child was screaming loudly from one of the bedrooms. James almost smiled. The child's cries must have muffled the sound of them apparating.

He pressed his index to his lips to signal Ember to follow him quietly. They walked slowly to where the sound was coming from. "Sleep! Merlin, child, stop crying!" said an exasperated woman's voice. James and Ember finally reached the right room. The door was ajar and James could clearly see the woman's blond hair and silky night gown. Narcissa hadn't changed much from her Hogwarts days. Beautiful, pale, cold. That's how James had always described her. He'd never liked _cold. Fire _was much better.

He waited for her to turn her back on the door before slipping inside the room. The tapestry was black and silver, the furniture a rich dark ebony. The red-headed baby's mouth was wide open, her cries so loud that James felt almost sorry for his son. _She'll be a handful, Harry, _he thought.

Narcissa, focused on the baby, didn't even have her wand on her.

"If I had left you with Bella, you would probably be cat food by now," she muttered under her breath, her eyes glaring at the screaming toddler.

James raised his wand. "Stupefy!" he said. Narcissa turned toward her aggressor but the spell hit her on the chest before she could utter a single word. She fell to floor with a thud. Ginny stopped crying at once. She was trying to find the source of the pretty red light. James took the Cloak off himself and Ember and approached the baby. He lifted her up from the cot and pulled her closer to him the same way he'd done so many times with Harry. Ginny was so small and fragile he felt his anger rise. Voldemort was going to pay for all he'd done.

"Put the baby down, sir," a voice said suddenly.

James turned around with a jolt. A house elf with large green eyes was staring at him from the half-open door. He recognised him immediately.

"Dobby," James said in awe. This was the elf who had saved his son's life in the books. James had not thought for a moment he could have been dangerous. He changed idea when he felt himself thrown to the wall, the baby not in his arms anymore, his wand hurling away from him.

His instincts caught up with him.

"Ember take Ginny and go! Now!" he shouted while Dobby tackled him to the ground. Why did he have to be so stupid? The Malfoys still owned the elf, Jemma had reminded them of that.

"Master?" Ember said tentatively, unsure of what to do. She didn't want to leave him there.

"I said NOW!" James yelled at Ember while throwing Dobby away from him. The Hogwarts elf didn't wait to be told twice, grabbed the baby and disappeared. James launched himself to where his wand had fallen and with a swift flick sent a Stunner toward Dobby. The elf crumpled to the floor unconscious.

"Narcissa!" a man's voice suddenly shouted coming up the stairs. "Narcissa! What's wrong up there?"

James's nerves tensed up. He bolted out of the bedroom and almost bumped heads with Lucius Malfoy in the corridor. The Death Eater yelled in rage at the sight of the Gryffindor. He perfectly knew who James Potter was.

James shovelled him out of his way and ran down the stairs skipping two and three steps at a time. Malfoy followed him downstairs, his wand sending a shower of curses and hexes toward the intruder. Several of them hit the large windows instead, their glass panels breaking into millions of glittering fragments.

"Wilkes!" Malfoy yelled. "Get in here, you useless son of a troll!"

...

Remus wondered many times that night why he'd agreed to the plan in the first place. He'd never been as brave as James or as reckless as Sirius. He'd never been as talented as them either, if truth must be told. The wizard asked himself if it all came down to him being a werewolf.

_Yes, it must be that,_ he told himself wryly. Everything came down to the fact of him being a werewolf. He'd always tried to redeem himself in some way or another for almost seventeen years. Honestly, why would anyone put themselves in such danger otherwise?

Darkness was pressing on him from every angle. He could feel the small elf shivering at his side, the small hand clutched to his in fear.

"Lumos," Remus whispered.

The feeble light of his wand lit up the chamber under the drawing room. Polished oak shelves filled to the brim with vials of potions, antique objects and nasty looking animal specimens were lined up to the walls. The sheer amount of things in that room made Remus feel even more worried.

"Accio Riddle's Diary," Remus said in a very low voice.

Nothing flew into his hands.

_To be expected_, he thought. He began searching manually, frantically opening one cabinet after another, a trickle of sweat rolling down his cheek.

"Fitsey, please, I need your help," he said, remembering the elf was still in the room with him. "Can you summon things wizards can't?" he asked him.

"Yes, Fitsey can try," the elf replied eagerly. Remus looked at him slightly relieved.

His task was to find the Horcrux fast without no one noticing he'd been there. His thoughts quickly went to James. Remus hoped with all his might that his friend was alright.

"I need to find a small black book," Remus said, his thoughts on James. "It's a very dark object, you might be able to sense its presence..."

The elf's eyes immediately turned toward a small delicate desk at the far left corner of the room. "Fitsey feels some very bad magic coming from there," he said pointing at the desk. Remus crossed the room without being told twice, his hand about to grasp the drawer's handle...

"Stop!" the elf cried a bit too loudly. "Do not touch it, Master! There's a curse placed on it!"

Remus's hand stopped in mid-air, his heart beating so fast it hurt.

"Thanks," he muttered to the elf. "Any idea on how to open it?"

The elf gave him a toothed smile and clicked his fingers. The drawer slid open effortlessly. Remus sighed in relief and retrieved a frayed old sack from one of his pockets.

He peered inside the opened drawer, wand held high. There it was. A small black innocent-looking book resting casually on what looked like a collection of dead fairies.

_Dark wizards are disgusting_, Remus grimaced while glancing at the tiny lithe creatures labelled and preserved like a disturbing set of dolls.

The werewolf gestured to Fitsey to come closer.

"Do you get the impression they're going to come alive and attack us as soon as we touch the book?" Remus asked. Fitsey let out a tremulous laugh.

"They might, Master Remus," he said.

Remus thought hard for a moment. "Well, we've got no other choice. They don't look extremely dangerous, just creepy," he finally said aloud. "Would you mind levitating that blasted book into the sack, please?" he asked the elf. Fitsey looked overjoyed. He obeyed enthusiastically and with another click of his fingers, the book landed safely inside the bag.

As predicted a buzzing noise of awakening wings surfaced from the open drawer, but Remus was quicker. He magically enclosed the tiny creatures into a shimmering floating bubble and then vanished it. "They will know we stole the book, they must have put the fairies in there for that reason..."

"But we can create copies, right, Master?" Fitsey suggested. The elf clicked his fingers and perfect copies of the diary and the fairies collection appeared inside the drawer.

"Yeah, that must do for now, but it won't fool them for long," said Remus. "Good job anyway, Fitsey."

The elf beamed.

Remus sighed in relief.

"It's been easier than we thought, uh?" Remus told the elf. "Come on, let's get out of –"

Unmistakable sounds of glass shattering and people shouting seeped through the heavy stone ceiling. Both elf and werewolf looked at each other in fear.

"James!" Remus exclaimed in panic. "Fitsey, I know it wasn't part of our plan but I can't leave James in trouble! Please, take the Horcrux back to Hogwarts, OK? I'll apparate upstairs..." he muttered an incantation and the walls glowed a faint blue, "perfect, no Anti-Apparition wards in here."

Remus passed the sack containing Riddle's diary to Fitsey. The elf looked concerned. "Is Master sure? Fitsey must protect Master..."

Another crash came from upstairs.

"I'm sure Fitsey," said Remus softly. "Thank you, Fitsey, you've done an amazing job. Go straight to Dumbledore and if he's not back yet go to McGonagall, understood?"

"Yes, Master," the elf said. With a crack he disappeared.

Remus stared at the spot where Fitsey had vanished with a sinking feeling.

Now or never.

He turned on the spot. Not even two seconds later, he found himself in the middle of a battle ground. Lucius Malfoy and a brutish looking wizard called Wilkes stared at him in shock.

"How did you get in here?" Malfoy spat, his wand pointed at Remus's chest. A strong hand grabbed him from somewhere on his right and pulled him behind a black leathered sofa.

"What the hell are you doing here, Remus?" James exclaimed in panic. He wasn't wearing his cloak and had a large gash on his left cheek.

"Rescuing you?" Remus laughed nervously.

"You git, where's the thing?"

"I gave it to Fitsey," he whispered. "I told him to go back to Hogwarts."

"Brilliant," James muttered sarcastically. "Had to do the same with Ember and Ginny."

"So we're stuck?" Remus sighed dejectedly. James grimaced.

"Come out, you foolish Gryffindor pests!" Malfoy shouted sending a couple of spell their way. On of it seared the top of James's wayward hair. Remus peeked a look from the side.

Remus could have sworn he heard James mutter "He still remembers when I turned his hair red." He would have laughed if the situation hadn't been so dire.

Wilkes was advancing on them, his dark wand raised. "Come out, come out!" he was chanting mockingly. Lucius Malfoy hadn't moved but sent him a murderous glare. Not good at all. The blond wizard blasted the sofa out of his way. James and Remus pointed both of their wands at the two Death Eaters.

"Where's the girl, Potter?" Malfoy shouted.

"Where you can't get your hands on her, Malfoy!" James retaliated. The will to fight had come back to him at last. "What's your Master going to say when he finds out you couldn't even keep a baby from escaping?"

"Fool, the Weasley brat was just a trap to lure Order's members to come and rescue her!" Wilkes laughed. "The Dark Lord never imagined you of all people to show up!"

James looked concerned.

"Remus get out of here," he whispered. "It's me who they want. Save yourself."

"Over my dead body, Prongs," Remus snarled. "We're getting out of this together. _Paddy's escape_." he added in a whisper.

James was staring at both Malfoy and Wilkes with hatred, yet nodded imperceptibly.

"Is Voldemort still scared of a one year old baby?" he asked derisively.

"Don't you dare say his name, you filthy Blood Traitor!" Wilkes shouted madly.

"You know the prophecy, Potter," Lucius Malfoy said calmly. "And as a Pureblood you must know what prophecies are -"

"Harry's just a baby, for Merlin's sake!" he shouted, anger bubbling like tar in his stomach. "Stupefy!" he cried.

Malfoy lazily deflected the spell. "You can do better than that, Pot –,"

_THUMP_

"Why would I?" James voiced aloud. "We're two against one."

Wilkes had crashed to the floor unconscoius. Remus was smiling satisfied.

"Rule number one: Never underestimate the side-kick," he said. "Rule number two: never shift your attention when your partner's under attack."

James grinned. "Rule number three: two Marauders are always worth more than two Death Eaters," he concluded for Remus.

Lucius Malfoy had known Wilkes to be a useless unreliable baboon, but certainly not to that point. And he also knew he couldn't afford them to escape, not Potter, at least.

"Avada Kedavra!" he shouted, pointing his wand directly at Remus. The werewolf jumped to the side at the last moment, the curse hitting a set of silver frames instead.

"Expelliarmus!" James snarled, but once again Malfoy put up a Shield Charm just in time.

"Crucio!" yelled Malfoy, "Imperio!" The curses could've almost hit James, if Remus hadn't dragged him out of the way. They both crashed one on top of the other onto the hard marble floor. They briefly made eye contact.

"Now," mouthed James.

"Stupefy!" Remus shouted. _"Levicorpus"_, James thought.

They had practised the so called "Paddy's Escape" so many times in the last years that their tactic had become more and more successful. Sirius had invented it during their fourth year at Hogwarts. It involved taking down the less powerful opponents first, then giving the main enemy the illusion of being about to win, then simultaneously targeting him with a verbal and non-verbal spell.

Lucius Malfoy _did_ deflect the verbal spell but found himself hanging upside down in mid-air. Before he could counter attack, Remus had disarmed him.

Malfoy swore loudly at them, blood rushing to his head.

James made a rude hand gesture and stupefied him before following Remus out of the room. They crossed the elegant entrance hall and bolted outside into the cold night. It must have been close to dawn as the sky was tinged with orange and pink streaks.

Several white peacocks were wandering on the perfectly trimmed front lawns. James felt like laughing.

"Er, James, you're wound is bleeding," Remus said concerned pointing at his friend's face.

"Oh, it's nothing..."

"How did you get it?"

"A house elf tried to stop me but I prevailed," James grinned, his old confidence back in place. "I'm _totally awesome_," he said simply.

"You're _what_?"

"I'm ahead of times," he said casually. "Ted and Barney, future TV guys, nevermind," he added before turning on the spot.

"Who are _Ted and Barney_?" wondered Remus. He shook his head puzzled, then smiled.

_Oh well, at least Prongs is back, _the werewolf thought while he, too, disapparated into the night.

…

_References: _

_Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, Chapter 2 'The Vanishing Glass'_

_Ted and Barney from "How I Met Your Mother" - I know that 'totally awesome' has been around for decades in America, but it wasn't used in the UK in the 80's :)_

_**A/N: Thank you to all of you for the support and appreciation.. it really means a lot to me! Please read and review! I'm always glad to read what you guys think about the story... feel free to post suggestions, comments, things you like, things you don't like... anything really.**_

_**Love,**_

_**Jem**_


	31. The Fine Line Between

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter!_

Chapter 31

**The Fine Line Between**

_There are many things to be said about that early Monday morning, yet I feel as tight-lipped as I was when I, along with Sirius and Kreacher, apparated into that pitch black cell at Lestrange Manor. I've dreaded to recount this part of my story for so long. It's never got any easier, even though so many things have happened since then. What went to pass that day haunts my nightmares even to this day. I still wake up screaming in the middle of the night and frantically search for the safety of my husband's hand. I remember snippets, the memories too hazy and blown out of proportion, the pain and the blood... so much blood._

I recall the manor's dungeons with revulsion, the smell clinging off every wall...metallic, strong, sickening. The darkness and the piercing cold did not help. I could not see a thing. The knowledge of what I would've found once our wands were lit utterly terrified me.

I could taste Sirius' fear as much as my own. His was born from years and years of hating and avoiding his family and all they stood for. Mine was more of a self preservation reaction. I had never experienced that kind of feeling so much in my life before. Being in a war and all its related issued had always appeared terrifying yet distant, almost exotic. I had been lucky to be born in a time of peace, in a rich country, in a well-adjusted middle-class family. Problems had always revolved around scoring pass grades in Maths and Latin, not how to survive a bunch of Nazi-like Pureblood wizards.

Suddenly Sirius and I heard something _or someone_ moving away from us. The thing let out a panicked string of what sounded like '_not again'._ I felt Sirius shuffle closer to me, his hand grasping mine as if to give himself courage.

"Molly? Arthur?" Sirius called in a whisper. "Is that you?"

The whimpering figure grew alarmed.

"Go away!" a woman's tear-strained voice screamed loudly. "You've done enough! Where is my family? What d' you still want from me? K_ill me, too_..."

_Was it Molly? Was Arthur dead?_ I gave up a sob. _Not Arthur..._

"_What the -" _I heard Sirius mutter in disbelief. He lit up his wand and a warm glow spread to the four mould stained walls of the small chamber.

"_Marlene_?" Sirius gasped in shock. "Marlie is that you?"

It was then that I first saw how the dark whimpering shape could not have possibly been Molly Weasley. The young witch slumped on the floor had matted blond hair and her bright blue eyes looked back at us in apparent fear.

"Who are you?" she croaked, her eyes not yet adjusted to the flickering light.

"Marlene, it's me, Sirius," Sirius said agitated crouching down towards the witch.

"Sirius _Black_?" she whispered, genuine hope in her voice.

"Yeah, the one and only," he smiled.

"Have they captured you, too?" Marlene asked shocked.

Sirius shook his head with a grin. "We found a way in," he reassured her.

Her baby blue eyes seemed to come alive at once while her thin mouth spread into a radiant smile.

"You've come to save me!" she exclaimed a bit too loudly while tackling him into a hug.

"Er – not really – we're here for Molly and Arthur Weasley but we can't leave you here now eh?" He faked a weak laugh. "Do you know where they are?" he asked, his tone suddenly more serious.

"I think they're kept in the next cell," she gushed alarmed. "I've heard people scream -" her voice broke as if remembering her own screams, too.

"Everyone thought you dead, Marlie..." Sirius said slowly. "If we knew, we'd have come sooner, we'd have done _something_... I'm so sorry."

Marlene shook her head, tears streaming down her face. She looked past Sirius and focused on me slightly puzzled.

"I don't think we've ever met before," she stated.

"No, we haven't," I replied heavily. "I'm Jemma De Angelis, new Order member."

"Marlene McKinnon, pleased to meet you," she said.

I nodded. I didn't feel like answering with _'I'm pleased to meet you, too' _when in fact I wasn't pleased at all about finding her instead of the Weasleys. The way she had clung to Sirius, the way she had smiled at him, they way she had looked at him... it had told me more than I'd wanted to know.

Sirius turned to Kreacher who'd been standing silently beside me. "Take Marlene to Hogwarts then come straight back, understand?"

The elf nodded and walked closer to the frail witch taking her hand.

"Wait!" Marlene said grasping Sirius's jacket. "I've missed you so much Sirius! Please, be careful, the Lestranges are both home."

"Don't worry, Marlie," Sirius said gently. "I'll see you back at Hogwarts."

Marlene kissed his cheek, then she and Kreacher were gone. Sirius' hands were still in mid-air, his face definitely more coloured than usual.

"She missed you, how nice," I commented acidly.

"It's not what you think, Jem," he said in a tone that was meant to reassure me. It did the complete opposite.

"You've never told me anything about her!" I exclaimed furiously.

He stood up abruptly and glared at me.

"We'll talk about it later," he said firmly. "This is not the time."

"There's always time to discuss your lies, Black," I threw back at him.

"I thought she was _dead," _he said emphasising the last word.

"So that gave you the chance to lie about her being your girlfriend?"

"She was never my girlfriend," he stated annoyed.

"Your friend with benefits then?" I kept asking, jealousy crashing on me like a cold wave.

"It's not any of your business," Sirius answered coldly.

"Right." I turned to the door. "How do I open this damn thing then?"

He didn't answer.

"How do I open this thing?" I repeated furiously.

"Can you drop it until we get back to the castle?" he asked eyeing me warily.

"I've just asked you how to open this damn stupid door not how many other secret girlfriends are possibly hidden in this manor!" I almost shouted.

"You're hilarious," he said drily.

"Glad to amuse you, Black," I replied. "How do I open this -?"

"_Alohomora _" he muttered and the lock clicked open.

"They're kind of slack," I commented annoyed. "Anyone could get out of here."

"There's an Anti-Apparation ward and the prisoners are wandless, Jemma," he explained patiently.

"What about wandless magic?" I asked.

"A witch or a wizard that can perform strong wandless magic would never be caught up in here," answered Sirius.

"Whatever you say, Black," I muttered in a low voice.

"Stop calling me that."

"It's your name," I said opening the door. "Deal with it."

He took my arm and forced me to turn around and look at him in the eyes.

"I've slept around" he said. "Deal with it."

I shrugged him off and entered the dark, musty corridor. I heard him following me closely.

_It's not the time to snap at him_, I kept thinking angrily. _He saved your life a few hours ago, he's not that bad, you knew he wasn't a virgin, you knew what you were getting yourself into, you knew, you knew, you knew... __Of all the things that could have made our relationship more difficult...Bloody Marlene_.

Not that I'd have preferred her to be dead, mind you. I was never that petty.

After just a dozen steps I stumbled in front of another door.

"Jem, I'm sorry," Sirius whispered in my ear. His voice sounded defeated as if he had been thinking the same things I had. "You know I love you -"

"Not now, Sirius," I said icily.

"When do you want me to say it then?" he asked, a note of urgency in his voice. I ignored him.

"Alohomora," I said confidently this time. The heavy door creaked open and we slipped in as silently as we could. Sirius lit his wand up once again and stepped forward. What I saw shocked me to the core. The form slumped in the corner let out a weak heart-wrenching wail.

Molly Weasley was a far cry different from how I had imagined her. Her thick red hair was singed off, her robes were torn and dirty, her eye-lids so swollen I could barely see her eyes. She was hugging what looked like a mass of clothes and blood. Her husband.

_Let him be alive, _I prayed.

I took a step toward them and my shoe trod on something sticky and wet. I stopped myself from retching. The hard stone floor was covered in blood.

"Molly?" I called shakily. "We're Dumbledore's people, we're taking you and Arthur to Hogwarts."

She barely had the strength to nod. I don't know if she'd truly understood my words or if she would've said yes to anything that could've taken her away from that small, foul smelling cell.

I stepped closer to Molly and saw her trembling heavily, her eyes full of terror.

"We're going to Hogwarts, your children are all safe, they're all waiting for you there," I told her.

She smiled weakly at the word 'children' and relaxed. I almost cringed at my lie. I hoped James and Remus were alright. I hoped Ginny was safe, too.

I looked back at Sirius. "Why isn't Kreacher back already?" I asked him.

"I don't know," he answered tensely. "That was exactly what I was worried about."

"He'll be back," I stated hotly.

_"It was your idea, idiot," _I thought to myself. "_Sirius was right this time."_

"And if he doesn't, I swear I won't consider you responsible. I agreed to this, too," he said quietly.

It was then I truly saw him for the first time in so many weeks.

"I love you, too," I whispered so low that he could barely hear my words. He smiled but didn't comment on it. He knelt beside Molly instead.

"Molly, how's Arthur?" he asked tentatively. She shook her head in desolation, her eyes answering Sirius's question better than spoken words.

"Oh, Molly!" I sighed taking her hands in mine. She seemed so worn out I didn't know what else to do, what else to say. Losing the person you were supposed to spend the rest of your life with – the person who loved you as much as you loved them – is something I had always feared and dreaded.

Sirius and I shared a look right at that moment and I finally understood what I was to him and why he'd been so against asking Kreacher for help. He'd been worried of losing me.

And it was then as we had feared all along that we heard steps coming down the stairs. And voices.

" - I've heard noises from the gaols, I'm not overreacting!" a male voice was saying.

"Sure you aren't," a female voice replied lazily. "What can they do? Attack us and escape? I should tell Rod how much of a scared cat you are," the woman laughed sarcastically.

"Bellatrix and her brother-in-law" Sirius mouthed at me. "Kreacher! If you don't come back now, we're screwed," he added looking at the ceiling.

We prepared for the worst, both our wands ready to strike.

"Homenum Revelio," we heard Bellatrix say just outside the cell.

I held my breath in anticipation.

"There are three people down here," the witch said sounding annoyed. "The McKinnon brat and the two Blood Traitors. I was practising spells, Rabastan. Don't you dare disturb me again."

"I swear I heard -"

"Shut your mouth," Bellatrix replied angrily, her heels hitting the stairs steps with regular precision.

Sirius and I let out a sigh.

"Wait!" we heard Rabastan Lestrange say.

Bellatrix stopped. She was furious. "What now?" she yelled.

"McKinnon isn't in her cell," Rabastan said panicking. "The door wasn't locked!"

"WHAT!?" Bellatrix descended the stairs once again, much faster this time. We heard her quick steps stopping in front of the cell we were in.

The door burst open. Bellatrix Lestrange barged into the cell followed closely by her brother-in-law. Her mouth opened in surprise when she realised who was in the room. Her eyes fell instantly on her cousin, a grimace forming on her flawless pale face.

"You!" she shrieked, "How did you get in here, Blood Traitor?"

"Why would I tell you that?" Sirius half-laughed.

"Where's McKinnon?" Rabastan intervened puffing up his chest, trying to look tougher. I noticed Bellatrix glaring sideways at him. It was clear she could not stand her husband's brother. She was supposed to be the only one doing the talking.

"Where's the McKinnon brat?" Bellatrix repeated Rabastan's question.

"She's out of your grasp," Sirius said. "Hopefully we'll be out of here soon, too."

"Stupefy!" Bellatrix cried aiming at Sirius. He quickly conjured a protecting shield in front of him, diverting the red beam away.

"Impedimenta!" I shouted at Rabastan, who seemed unsure of what to do. Bellatrix pushed him away from my spell while stopping Sirius's attack. The room became a real battleground shortly after that. Spells, curses and hexes were flying all over the place.

"Expelliarmus!"

"Protego!"

"CRUCIO!"

"Stupefy!"

"Incarcerous!"

"Diffindo!"

"Impedimenta!"

"PROTEGO!"

"CONFRINGO!" Bellatrix shouted. Sirius was quick enough to throw himself out of the spell's reach, yet bumped into me making me stumble.

"Crucio!" I heard the witch say and was suddenly hit by the worst physical pain I'd ever felt. It was worse than anything a human being can feel. Worse than falling into boiled water, worse than being sliced and stabbed a hundred times. I could hear myself scream above the pain and for the first time I really wished for death. The pain stopped abruptly and I took a gulp of air, my body shaking furiously.

"You're going to pay for this! CRUCIO!" I heard Sirius yell. For a moment I thought I was going to be hit again. Instead, Bellatrix laughed mockingly at Sirius. "Your Cruciatus can't even tickle me, Baby Cousin," she teased him. "You have neither power nor will to hurt a fly, that's why you were carted off to Gryffindor."

"Don't you dare - !"

"Don't you dare what, Blood Traitor?" she asked. "Don't you think I know who the girl is?"

I managed to lift my head off the floor and look at her. What did she know about me? What did Voldemort know? Sirius looked at her cousin with worry.

"Jemma De Angelis," she said looking at me with malice, "no record of her at the Italian Ministry whatsoever, currently residing at Hogwarts, new Order of The Phoenix member, Mudblood slut -"

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" Sirius yelled at her in disgust.

"Oh, I apologise Baby Cousin," she cackled evilly. "_Your_ Mudblood slut I meant to say. I've heard Aunt Walburga does not agree with your taste very much."

"What has she said to you?" Sirius seethed angrily.

"That you needed money to make the slut happy," she replied, twirling her wand lazily. "Aunt was horrified at your presumption."

Sirius remained silent. His mother had lied to cover up the real reason of their visit. Where was Kreacher then? I turned my head towards Molly and noticed she was out cold, probably as a result of wayward spell.

"CONFRINGO!" I screamed pointing my wand at a stretch of wall closest to Bellatrix. I was not going to go down without fighting. I caught her by surprise and she was hit by a fragment of exploding brick. She sent me another Cruciatus in retaliation but I'd been ready to avoid it this then attacked Sirius, but the Death Eater was no match. Bellatrix knew it well and readied herself at hurdling curses at both Sirius and me in order to give his ally some help. Not long after that Sirius was hit by one of her curses and his wand arm began to bleed heavily.

All of a sudden a noisy _CRACK!_ echoed across the room making everyone stop in their tracks. The tiny old elf had finally appeared in the middle of the cell looking bewildered. He first glanced at the two duelling fronts, then eyed Molly Weasley and the lifeless form of her husband.

Rabastan was the first to react and sent me flying across the room a few feet from where Molly was.

"Was it the elf, Baby Cousin?" Bellatrix asked sharply. "That's how you managed to enter my house?"

Sirius stared at her for an instant as if to assess the situation. Then acted.

"Protego!" Sirius shouted putting himself between Rabastan and me. "Kreacher take the Weasleys and Jem, GO, NOW!"

"SIRIUS, NO!" I shouted at him understanding exactly what he had in mind. But it was to late. Kreacher was on me before I had the time to stand up, my head still pounding like hell from hitting the wall.

"_I'M SORRY!_" I thought I heard Sirius shout before everything around me faded into black.

**A/N: Again I apologise for the long delay. I can't promise I'll be able to update this story soon but will try my best. Thanks to Peggy for asking me to continue with the story and thanks to all of you who've been following it for a long time.**

**I must say I'm not happy with the chapter but haven't been writing much lately... **

**Read, Enjoy, Review :)**


	32. No Easy Way Out

Disclaimer: I do not own HP

Chapter 32

**No easy way out**

_"KREACHER, TAKE ME BACK!" I screamed as loud as I could as soon as my feet touched the ground. The air was thick and wet and so cold but I did not care._

_"TAKE ME BACK! TAKE ME BACK! TAKE ME BACK!"_

_I shook the tiny elf roughly, not really concerned if I was hurting him. Kreacher reacted as if nothing had happened, as if he couldn't hear my voice. His large round eyes were resolutely fixed on the dirty muddy ground to avoid my face. __I didn't know or cared where we were. I barely noticed Molly's unconscious body slumped a few feet from where I stood. Her dead husband was just but a dark shape beside her. __The meaning of it all – of my failure – wasn't clear yet._

_"TAKE ME BACK! TAKE ME BACK! TAKE ME BACK, I'M BEGGING YOU!" I kept shrieking at him. "PLEASE, TAKE ME BACK!"_

_"Miss is not my Mistress," Kreacher muttered unwavering._

_"THEN GO BACK AND SAVE HIM! HE'S YOUR MASTER!" I cried. Why didn't he understand? Why couldn't he understand?_

_"Mistress said no," he croaked, looking directly into my eyes this time._

_I paled._

_Walburga._

_I was going to murder that old conniving close-minded bigot..._

_"Is that why you didn't come back straight away?" I asked feebly, knowing the answer before it came._

_He nodded slightly._

_"But you came back, right?" I tried in desperation. "Why can't you do it one more time?"_

_"Master Sirius ordered Kreacher to come back the first time. He never asked Kreacher to go back for him," the elf said. "Mistress Black is calling. Kreacher has to go."_

_"Kreacher, no, please..." I pleaded one last time._

_"Mistress is angry...Kreacher is sorry," he croaked before disapparating away. _

_And I was left there, shivering from the cold and that lingering sinister curse, with a dead body and an unconscious, badly hurt woman. And everything was too unbearable to think of it rationally... and I was furious and unbelievably guilty._

_"YOU'RE A STUPID, SELFLESS, IDIOTIC MORON, SIRIUS BLACK!" I shouted at the night, tears blurring my sight. "ARROGANT, CONCEITED, ONE-TRACK MINDED LIKE YOUR HAG OF A MO -"_

_"JEMMA!" James's voice came out of nowhere. "ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"_

_I could hear footsteps approaching. I turned around and looked up. James and another were running towards me from what looked like the Herbology green-houses. Behind them, the turreted castle loomed unusually threatening. I was in the Hogwarts grounds, not far from the entry gates._

_James reached me first, shortly followed by Remus Lupin. Their clothes were unkempt and both sported a few gashes and bruises. I wondered if they'd managed to get Ginny and the diary but..._

_"Where's Sirius?" James promptly asked, his voice laboured from the run. __I couldn't bring myself to utter a single word. _

_What was I supposed to tell him? _

_I crouched beside Molly instead. Even in the darkness I could see her right hand was still gripping her dead husband's arm and felt terribly ashamed. She was never meant to go through this..._

_"We need to take Molly to the Hospital Wing," I said. "There's nothing we can do for Arthur but – but I think she's going to be OK."_

_Remus came closer and stared at me. Perhaps he could perform Legilimency, perhaps he could read the raw guilt that was enveloping me like a cloud. His eyes deadened. He checked Molly's pulse then conjured two sets of stretchers._

_James hadn't moved. He was still, his facial expression almost mirroring my own._

_"Where's Sirius, Jemma?" he repeated, his voice shaking. I'd never seen James Potter so distraught. _

_"He – he's still there, James, he's still there..." I mumbled._

_"W-what d' you mean he's still there?" he questioned me in fear. "Is he – is he dead?"_

_"I – I don't think -"_

_"Is he alive?"_

_"I think so, I hope so, he was when we left -"_

_"How could you leave him there?"_

_"I didn't leave him there, James! He ordered Kreacher to take me and the Weasleys out of the manor, but – but he was far from us and put himself in between..."_

_"Why didn't you stop him?"_

_"I tried – I couldn't – I realised what he was doing when it was too late -"_

_"Why didn't you send Kreacher back?"_

_"I TRIED! He didn't want to listen! Mrs Black told him not to - "_

_"Mrs Black? Sirius's mother?"_

_"Kreacher didn't come back immediately -"_

_"He didn't come back – WHAT?"_

_"JAMES, CALM THE HELL DOWN!" Remus yelled at James. "Can't you realise how distressed she is? Let her speak for Merlin's sake!"_

_I looked up to Remus gratefully. _

_"Marlene McKinnon is alive, she's the first we found at the Manor," I explained quickly. "Kreacher brought her back but didn't come back straight away for us. We found the Weasleys but then Bellatrix and Rabastan found us, we duelled, then Kreacher was back and Sirius – Sirius..."_

_"Sirius acted like the reckless, protective idiot we've always known him to be," Remus concluded for me. "It's not your fault, Jemma. But we need to find a way to get him out of there soon."_

_James stared at me._

_"I'm – He's my best mate. If – if he..." James's voice broke._

_"You know I feel the same," I said. _

_"Are you cold?" he asked me then._

_"Nah, I'm fine."_

_"Why are you shivering, then?" James persisted._

_"I dunno," I lied. I didn't feel like telling them about the Cruciatus._

_Remus's head jerked up and stared at me. I could see he'd guessed right. I felt grateful when he didn't point that out. "Let's take you inside, Jemma," he said instead._

* * *

(Sunday, December 20th 1981)

It was Christmas time again, my second in just over three months. The festive air had seeped through Hogwarts placidly, almost unnoticed. Even though holly and glittering baubles had appeared in every corner of the castle at the beginning of December, no one had seemed overly excited about it until the last week of classes. The majority of students had joined the list of people staying at the school, deeming it more safe than going back to their respective families.

I'd been sitting in a lone corner of the library since morning, perusing a book that wasn't giving me any answers. It was early afternoon, yet the sun was about to set already. The outside grounds were covered in snow so deep that had me convinced not to leave the castle for the following days.

'_This one's definitely colder_,' I thought bitterly, eyeing the icicles adorning the window closest to me. I had no time to spend on Christmas related topics, though. I couldn't let myself think of the other Christmas either, the warm one, the one spent at the beach, the one spent with –

"What do you have that I don't?" a voice that I'd come to detest asked suddenly, out of nowhere.

_No, no, no... Not again._

It didn't matter where I hid just to avoid her, she would always find me. I turned my head in her direction. She'd sat on the couch opposite mine.

Marlene McKinnon. Perfect blond curls, baby blue eyes and the most annoying voice a human can only dread to hear.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I replied curtly.

"Lupin told me Sirius called you his girlfriend," she paused. "He never called me that."

"Bad luck."

"But – but he's never wanted a girlfriend!" she whined.

"People change," I said, my attention back to the heavy old tome on my lap.

"That's it? People change? That's your answer?" she continued, her voice raising an octave.

"Can't you stop it?"

"No, I can't," she moaned. "My heart's broken and I want to know why."

"Don't you realise you're pissing me off?" I yelled. That was how it always went, why I tried to avoid her as much as I could.

"Has he ever said he loves you?" she asked. There was clear malice in her voice this time.

"Leave me alone."

"Ha, I knew it."

"You knew what?"

"That he never said –"

"He has, plenty of times." I interrupted her. She couldn't take away the only thing I was sure of.

"I don't believe you."

"It's not my problem."

"What do you have that I don't?"

"Oh, _not again_!"

"Just answer me!"

"I really don't know, McKinnon."

She looked at me as if I was lying to her, as if I knew things I did not want to share. To be honest, I'd come to doubt many of the things Sirius had told me. I'd also come to resent McKinnon just for the fact of being alive. If she hadn't...

"Do you miss him?" she asked suddenly.

"Yes."

"Me, too," she commented. "He's the one who saved me..."

"I saved you, too," I muttered.

"You'd have preferred me dead, Jemma," she said calmly.

"Not entirely wrong," I said. I was past the phase of forced politeness.

"I know I threaten you."

I looked at her sceptically. That was new.

"Yes, I do," she said smugly. "You're afraid Sirius chose you as a rebound thing as he believed me dead."

I pursed my lips. I'd never thought of it that way.

"Ha." She looked unbearably smug.

"Just leave me alone, McKinnon," I managed to say.

"I'm right then," she persisted. "You know you're just a fancy, exotic thing to him."

"Whatever makes you happy," I said. Arguing with her was pointless as she loved riling me up. It was like entertainment to her.

"What are you reading about?" she asked.

_Go away._

"Time-travel," I told her.

"Why?"

_Why would you want to know you empty-headed bimbo?_

"You wouldn't understand even if I explained it to you," I said gritting my teeth.

"Are you planning to steal a Time-Turner and save Sirius from getting caught?" she questioned curiously.

_She thinks I'm making fun of her, the idiot._

"Exactly," I said acidly. "I'll also make sure to get rid of you in the process."

She laughed airily.

"Sirius will never marry, you know," she added after awhile.

I tried to ignore her. _I don't give a shit about marriage, you moron.__  
_

"He's a free spirit," she explained as if I wasn't aware of it.

"I know," I said.

"And you're not," she commented. "You're always so boring, I've never seen you cry, you never joke, you're so –"

"So what? What the hell do you actually know about me, uh?" I yelled, my hands balled up into fists.

"Lily said the same," she said smiling complacently.

"Lily said _what_ precisely?"

"She said you're acting weird, you barely talk to her or James, you're avoiding them..."

I stood up angrily. McKinnon was one thing, but _Lily Potter_?

* * *

I didn't care about the cold, I wanted answers. I knew James had been avoiding me since that morning. I knew he blamed me for Sirius's capture deep down. But I'd thought Lily understood, Lily had always been my friend.

After fetching a heavy cloak from my rooms, I left the castle in a hurry without telling anyone where I was going. Not that it mattered anymore, really. I'd been going out and about quite freely during the last month. _Thirty-two days_. I hadn't seen much of the Potters for more than two weeks. They had gone back to their safe house, the one which Sirius was Secret Keeper for. A stupid choice, all things considered, but I wasn't in the mood of arguing with James about that matter in particular. He believed Sirius would never give the address away _– as I did __–_ but it was still risky. On the other hand, the fact that the Fidelius strength had not diminished meant that the Secret Keeper was still alive. That was why James had been against leaving the house in the first place. I reasoned it gave him a sense of comfort somehow. I envied him for that.

I sighed in relief when I closed the gates behind me. Even a Warming Charm hadn't been enough to shield me from the afternoon snowstorm. I quickly apparated to the Potters, relishing in the milder weather of the Southern English coast.

I knocked four times, the way they'd taught me to. It was my personal code so the Potters would know who was at their doorstep. James opened the door looking surprised to see me.

"Hi, James," I said, my eyes avoiding his. "Can I come in? I need to speak to Lily."

"Hi, Jem. Yeah, sure, come in," he replied politely, ushering me in. "It's - er - great to see you. How have you been?"

I ignored his question.

"Yeah, stupid question, sorry," he muttered uncomfortably. "Er, Lily's in the kitchen making dinner..."

I followed him into the warm sitting-room where Harry was playing with Willy, Lily's tabby cat. The boy looked up with a giggle and I noticed how much he'd grown in the last month. I ruffled his black hair and managed a tiny smile.

"Lily?" James called. "Jem's come to visit."

"What, James?" she asked popping her head in the room. "Who's come to _– Jem!_" She squealed as soon as she saw me standing awkwardly near the sofa. Lily seemed genuinely happy to see me and came to give me hug, her hands wearing scarlet oven gloves.

"Merlin, I've missed you!" she exclaimed. "How are you? I've been wanting to pop in at Hogwarts for the past week but James has been busy with the Order and I can't leave Harry _–"_

"I'm fine, don't worry," I said quietly. "Just came to have a few words with you _– in private, if possible," _I added eyeing James warily. He smirked at me.

"Yeah, sure," Lily said slightly taken aback. "Come in the kitchen, I'm making Sunday roast. I wasn't very up to cooking this morning... we ended up having a couple of sandwiches for lunch..."

"I'm hoping it'll be ready soon 'cause I'm starving!" James commented, then added, "You're welcome to stay for dinner, Jem. I won't poison your plate, I promise."

I glared at him annoyed before following Lily into the tiny kitchen and closing the door behind me.

"What's up, Jem?" Lily sighed.

"Why did you have to talk to Marlene about me?" I asked her immediately. "Of all the people _– why McKinnon?"_

"I never talked to Marlene about you," she said defensively.

"Oh, precious perfect Lily never does anything wrong," I scoffed.

"I didn't, I swear," said Lily.

"As if I believe it," I said angrily. "McKinnon _told _me _–_"

"OK, OK... I might have been talking to James and Remus while Marlene was there but I never meant to _–_"

"Meant to what? Talk behind my back?"

"Upset you, Jem," Lily said.

"Upset me? Do you think I'm upset? I'm furious!" I exclaimed. "And that _– that bint __–_ harassing me everywhere I go, asking me stupid questions, questions I have no answers to, questions I don't give a _–"_

"Jem, stop it," Lily interrupted me. "What's your real problem?"

"I hate when people talk behind my back," I muttered.

"We're worried about you, you avoided us when we were at Hogwarts, either you spent whole days in the library without eating or at the Hog's Head getting drunk _–_"

"How – _please_ – I do not go to the Hog's Head to get drunk."

"Aberforth showed up at the Order meeting the other night," she explained. "The one you didn't turned up to."

"I wasn't feeling well."

"You were _drunk_, Jemma," she scolded me. "If you think acting like Sirius is the answer –"

"I'm not acting like Sirius!" I shouted at her. "I feel horrible – _I can't – _I want to forget –"

"Firewhisky won't help you forget, Jem," she told me. "It'll only make you feel worse."

"What do you know..."

"I know nothing," Lily said with a glare. "I lost my parents two years ago, my only sister hates my guts, my family and friends are in constant danger... I really know nothing, Jemma."

"I'm sorry Lily, I wasn't thinking..." I apologised. "It's all my fault, I was never meant to _–"_

"It's never been your fault Jem," said Lily.

"I convinced Sirius to ask Kreacher..."

"And if you hadn't the Weasleys boys would have lost both their parents and their sister, not even mentioning getting the diary and rescuing Marlene!"

"That bitch."

"Jemma..." Lily exclaimed exasperated. "Are we finally getting to the real reason why you're here?"

I groaned.

"Has Sirius ever cared about her?" I blurted out.

"Jem you know there's never been anyone else Sirius cared enough to – "

"But he cared a bit, didn't he and – and if he did and thought she died..."

"Listen, the way Sirius always talked about Marlene... You know how rude he can be!"

I looked at her in misunderstanding.

"Sirius and James used to make jokes about her, she's always been easy with guys... the type Sirius used to go for all the time. Quick, easy, no fuss," she explained with a matter-of-fact voice.

I stared at her with dread.

"What's so different between her and me, Lily?"

"Don't be an idiot," she said, her eyes rolling upwards. "You've never been "no fuss" to him."

...

(Monday, December 20th, 2010)

"_You've surprised me, Sirius," said Lily, smirking slightly._

"_How?"_

"_Jem," she said simply._

"_Not you, too," he groaned. "I've already talked to Prongs, that's enough."_

"_She's good for you," Lily said simply. _

"_Yeah, great," he muttered eyeing her sideways. _

"_Don't be daft," she said. "I mean it."_

"_Yeah, I know, I know..." he mumbled._

"_What's with the sarcasm?" Lily questioned him._

"_Lily, I've never had a proper girlfriend and you know I don't know how to handle it. It's easy at times when I just go with the flow but – Merlin – it's hard."_

"_You're such a fuss."_

"_Yeah, laugh at me, but I swear to you I've never met anyone that sees me the way she does. And it's so damn hard because I want to be the best I can with her but then I know that she knows I'm not that 'perfect' so it doesn't really matter, but I try to anyway..."_

"_That's why you've suddenly cut down on rudeness?"_

"_I've never being rude."_

"_Conceited."_

"_James's the same."_

"_Was the same. He grew out of it a few years ago."_

"_Because of you."_

"_True. So you agree with me that Jem is good for you."_

_Sirius humphed._

"_It'll get easier, Sirius. This is just the beginning. The two of you are still figuring yourselves out."_

"_You think?"_

"_Uh ha."_

"_Sometimes I even look at you and James to get ideas..."_

_Lily laughed exasperated._

"_I'm not joking, you guys are the perfect couple to look up to."_

"_James and I are far from perfect, Sirius," Lily commented thoughtfully. "We've been thrown into this parenting thing, plus the war..."_

"_You've been doing great with Harry," said Sirius._

_She smiled gratefully. 'You're doing great with Jem, too."_

"_She's not my child, though," Sirius said sarcastically. "I'd be a pervert if she were."_

"_Idiot."_

"_'m just saying..."_

"_In case it wasn't clear what you two get up to when we're away," Lily said and hit him lightly on the shoulder._

...

"So you're telling me he was faking it all the time?" I asked Lily, my eyes narrowed.

"Oh Merlin, you're as daft as he is," Lily grimaced. "I never said anything of the sort, Jem. And we had this conversation already. I said he knew he had to behave differently if he wanted you to like him back. He matured for you. If that's a bad thing I don't know what else to tell you."

I kept silent. The only thing I needed right then was to talk to him face to face.

"We'll get him out of there," Lily whispered.

"And if we can't?" I said, my voice breaking. "I've never...I – I don't know what I'd do if I lost him... I can't go on like this... not knowing if he's a-alive...God, Lily... I miss him so much...if I'd just -"

"Stop it , Jem – for Merlin's sake – not everything in this world is your fault. Sirius made a choice and – yes – it wasn't the smartest one but -"

"He wouldn't have made that choice if I hadn't been there!"

"SO WHAT?" Lily shouted. "You would've done the same for him! Isn't that proof enough that you both care about each other? But no! You're still complaining and picking fights and fussing over what Marlene tells you... GROW THE HELL UP!"

She stormed off the kitchen while I stood there, shocked at her outburst as much as her words.

"I won't be having roast for dinner tonight, will I?" I heard James groan from the sitting-room.

* * *

**A/N: Done! Faster than I thought... hope you liked it! Thanks to Msupernatural, HOLY SHIT I'M ON FIRE, Sumar 22, Ptl4ever419 for reviewing the last chapter... it really helps knowing that someone is actually enjoying the story. **

**Also thanks to all my followers... but can I ask one little thing? Please even a tiny one-word review will make my day :)**

**xx**


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